Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

36 Cheap American Beers, Ranked
DeadSpin ^ | 7/3/2013 | Will Gordon

Posted on 07/03/2013 10:48:03 AM PDT by mojito

I realize you're going to spend Independence Day happily drinking whatever cold adult beverage you're served, because you're polite and you're an alcoholic. And I trust you'll have a fine old time no matter what you drink. But that doesn't mean America's sh**brews are all the same. The list below breaks down 36 of them, from worst to least-worst.

36. Keystone. This is the worst beer currently sold on American soil. It sits behind chilled glass in a convenience-store fridge like a dumb rebuke to the explosion of American beer variety all around it. In 1978 there were 89 breweries in the U.S.; today there are more than 2,400, and most of the new ones are better than most of the old ones. In 2013 craft beer is no longer the exclusive domain of West Coast weirdos and psychotic woodsmen. These fine days you can score Samuel Adams or Sierra Nevada at the least ambitious of convenience stores and Dogfish Head 90 Minute on the least reliable of trains. And then there is Keystone, which first appeared to the world in 1989, in Chico, Calif., home of the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company. Keystone separates itself from the rest of the crap pack by augmenting the typical stale/sour flavor profile with notes of brown bananas and green armpits. Keystone is worse than Heineken and murder.

(Excerpt) Read more at deadspin.com ...


TOPICS: Food; Humor
KEYWORDS: beer; happy4th; staythirsty
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 41-6061-8081-100 ... 161-172 next last
To: mojito

At least he didn’t include Vitamin I. (Iron City for you out of towners).


61 posted on 07/03/2013 11:24:26 AM PDT by Safetgiver ( Islam makes barbarism look genteel.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: woodbutcher1963
I drank many, many gallons of Genny Cream and Utica Club back in college. As social chairman of my fraternity (back in the days when the drinking age was 18, as it should still be), I discovered that Genny tasted a whole lot better when tapped from a fresh keg, as opposed to cans or bottles, where it seemed to get musty and stale awfully fast.

Utica Club was actually pretty decent (and cheap, which of course matters a great deal when you're a student), and they also made a Bock beer in the spring (dark, malty and surprisingly good).

These days, I brew my own, and yield about two cases or so from $35 worth of fresh ingredients.

62 posted on 07/03/2013 11:26:51 AM PDT by andy58-in-nh (Cogito, ergo armatum sum.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 34 | View Replies]

To: meatloaf
Of course some accountant had to screw the pooch and get the recipe changed. That was in the early 70’s.

Leave us accountants alone. :>)

63 posted on 07/03/2013 11:27:03 AM PDT by Hyman Roth
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: mojito
The current version of #1 Grain Belt is NOT the same Grain Belt of my misspent youth and is now made by New Ulm, MN craft brewer Schells.

The Grain Belt I remember was nasty stuff that my friends often referred to as bib overall beer or farmer's beer. It was the typical tap beer you would find in small town bars in South Dakota back in the 1970s.

64 posted on 07/03/2013 11:28:03 AM PDT by The Great RJ
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: mojito
22. Stroh's. The royal blue Stroh's can is truly majestic, but the beer itself is disconcertingly greasy. It doesn't taste like much one way or the other, but it's marred by a rubbery slickness that leaves your tongue feeling like third-day deli ham.

Greasy beer? Rubbery slickness? Leaves your tongue feeling like third-day deli ham? WTF??!!

65 posted on 07/03/2013 11:29:34 AM PDT by mylife (Ted Cruz understands the law, and he does not fear the unlawful.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: mojito

Any list claiming Miller Lite is better than Yuengling is crap. Miller Lite taste like s*&t!!


66 posted on 07/03/2013 11:29:59 AM PDT by Hyman Roth
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: a fool in paradise
Holy crap. I cannot imagine what a 35 year-old can of Billy Beer might taste like, but I somehow suspect it's little different from what Ol' Peanut Brain's dumber, younger brother used to piss out on the tarmac at airport stops.
67 posted on 07/03/2013 11:32:14 AM PDT by andy58-in-nh (Cogito, ergo armatum sum.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: EQAndyBuzz; a fool in paradise
My bet is they [Stegmaier] co-packed Billy Beer.

I could have sworn it was made by Utica Club, but, from Wikipedia, "Billy Beer... first made in the United States of America in July 1977, by the Falls City Brewing Company. ...The beer was produced by Cold Spring Brewing, West End Brewing, and Pearl Brewing Company."

Miss Lillian was right to say that she should have remained a virgin.

68 posted on 07/03/2013 11:33:23 AM PDT by Calvin Locke
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: Safetgiver
At least he didn’t include Vitamin I.

Iron City was right dead-center of the list.
Not showing off, not falling behind.

Iron City also makes a low-end beer called American that is not too bad. It used to come in a beautifully lithographed can featuring an American Eagle holding Old Glory. Too expensive to print for a beer that costs ten bucks a case I guess. The new cans have a disturbingly neo-Nazi look to them. Like it was the Official Beer of the Waffen SS.


69 posted on 07/03/2013 11:33:37 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 61 | View Replies]

To: Safetgiver

But he did and he ranked Iron City above Yuengling!


70 posted on 07/03/2013 11:34:06 AM PDT by SoothingDave
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 61 | View Replies]

To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

Try a chilled Bavarian hefeweizen on a hot day. Glorious.


71 posted on 07/03/2013 11:34:45 AM PDT by Trod Upon (Every penny given to film and TV media companies goes right into enemy coffers. Starve them out!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: mylife

Greasy, rubbery slickness are all compliments for a beer born in Detroit.


72 posted on 07/03/2013 11:35:06 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 65 | View Replies]

To: SoothingDave
I used to know a guy that drank huge quantities of IC. Today, we'd probably think he had a drinking problem but back then ... he could drink all day, no problem.

Except for the gas.

Room clearing and eye watering.

We all attributed it to his choice of beverage.

73 posted on 07/03/2013 11:37:15 AM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 70 | View Replies]

To: mojito
I'm a beer snob and proud of it.

(Grabs Bell's Midwestern Pale Ale)

74 posted on 07/03/2013 11:37:45 AM PDT by Darren McCarty (Abortion - legalized murder for convenience)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Hyman Roth
"Miller Lite taste like s*&t!!"

Unlike Coors Light, at least Miller Lite tastes like something.

75 posted on 07/03/2013 11:38:59 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (The average American voter is an idiot. Which is how the Dems want it.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 66 | View Replies]

To: andy58-in-nh

We typically bought Utica Club in those plastic beer balls. I think it was equal to 2-3 cases of 12 oz bottles. We drank a few of those in college.

I never like Genny Cream. However, Genesee regular beer cam in 16 oz bottles. It was actually a pretty good beer and a good deal.

In western NY we mostly drank Labattes(the importer is in Buffalo and is was cheap)or Ol’ Vienna. OV splits were very popular, especially at The Brick Bar in Buffalo on Monday nights.

Did you grow up in western NY ?

I grew up in Orchard Park(Buffalo Bills home) and went to school at SUNY Morrisville and SUNY Syracuse.


76 posted on 07/03/2013 11:39:20 AM PDT by woodbutcher1963
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 62 | View Replies]

To: ArrogantBustard

I’ve had IC on occasion. It’s not too bad, but it does rather taste like the can it is in. Which for something named Iron City is sort of appropriate.


77 posted on 07/03/2013 11:39:51 AM PDT by SoothingDave
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 73 | View Replies]

To: bmwcyle
The only time I've ever had Yuengling is at the Philadelphia International Airport, usually while waiting for a delayed flight - which is pretty much every damn time I have to pass through that awful place.

Admittedly it's not a fair sample, owing to the general uncleanliness of the bar facilities and the ambient temperature in the terminal, which usually hovers around 106ºF, as the air conditioning hasn't worked there since the late '60s.

But the beer is cold and the servers are usually cute girls in black midriffs and not too hard to look at if you can get past the back tattoos. Generally, I find the beer to be a little thin, sour-tasting, and yeasty. And coincidentally, the men's rooms at PIA smell just the same way.

78 posted on 07/03/2013 11:40:58 AM PDT by andy58-in-nh (Cogito, ergo armatum sum.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 42 | View Replies]

To: Hyman Roth
Miller Lite taste like s*&t!!

Amen. My first beer was a Miller (regular)...I didn't touch another beer for five years. Ick.

79 posted on 07/03/2013 11:41:37 AM PDT by who knows what evil? (G-d saved more animals than people on the ark...www.siameserescue.org.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 66 | View Replies]

To: FlJoePa
A couple of years ago Mrs. Sooner and I went to Philly on a business trip. Had a couple... a few... several Yuenglings at a bar.

No need to turn beer snob on anyone with beer like this around. Wonderful, kinda like what Coors was back in the old days before the brand was ruined by that court ruling - except better, frankly.

Great great great beer. The only thing on earth to drink while enjoying a real cheesesteak.

80 posted on 07/03/2013 11:43:39 AM PDT by OKSooner
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 41-6061-8081-100 ... 161-172 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson