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36 Cheap American Beers, Ranked
DeadSpin ^ | 7/3/2013 | Will Gordon

Posted on 07/03/2013 10:48:03 AM PDT by mojito

I realize you're going to spend Independence Day happily drinking whatever cold adult beverage you're served, because you're polite and you're an alcoholic. And I trust you'll have a fine old time no matter what you drink. But that doesn't mean America's sh**brews are all the same. The list below breaks down 36 of them, from worst to least-worst.

36. Keystone. This is the worst beer currently sold on American soil. It sits behind chilled glass in a convenience-store fridge like a dumb rebuke to the explosion of American beer variety all around it. In 1978 there were 89 breweries in the U.S.; today there are more than 2,400, and most of the new ones are better than most of the old ones. In 2013 craft beer is no longer the exclusive domain of West Coast weirdos and psychotic woodsmen. These fine days you can score Samuel Adams or Sierra Nevada at the least ambitious of convenience stores and Dogfish Head 90 Minute on the least reliable of trains. And then there is Keystone, which first appeared to the world in 1989, in Chico, Calif., home of the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company. Keystone separates itself from the rest of the crap pack by augmenting the typical stale/sour flavor profile with notes of brown bananas and green armpits. Keystone is worse than Heineken and murder.

(Excerpt) Read more at deadspin.com ...


TOPICS: Food; Humor
KEYWORDS: beer; happy4th; staythirsty
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To: Gay State Conservative

Egads!


141 posted on 07/03/2013 1:57:20 PM PDT by erod (I'm a Chicagoan till Chicago ends...)
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To: Slings and Arrows

I remember those. They were a tan colored background, not white.


142 posted on 07/03/2013 1:58:03 PM PDT by Sparky21555 (The buck stops over there.)
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To: mowowie

I didn’t try it, but my dad was a Schlitz guy back in the 60’s and 70’s.
We also drank Lone Star before Stroh’s bought them.
It was pretty good. Stroh’s screwed them up. Switched to Shiner after that.
One that wasn’t on the list that should be is Mickey’s Big Mouth. Ugh.


143 posted on 07/03/2013 2:09:06 PM PDT by Texas resident (Watch the other hand.)
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To: mojito

Guess I’M the only bud fan here. I feel lonely. sniff. :)


144 posted on 07/03/2013 2:18:28 PM PDT by sopwith (LIVE FREE OR DIE)
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To: Texas resident

We had Mickeys a few times in college.

I made up a slogan:

Looks like a bottle. Opens like a can. Drinks like a glass.

Nice and strong.


145 posted on 07/03/2013 2:26:16 PM PDT by SoothingDave
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To: discostu
He doesn’t have Miller light as the 6th best, it’s the 6th least repulsive.

Yeah, I got that, I should have said it that way.

Miller light is a terrible beer and I think it's way less drinkable than Keystone. Everyone has different taste and I' ve never liked the awful after taste of all the Miller beers.

146 posted on 07/03/2013 3:06:33 PM PDT by Bullish (Psalm 46)
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To: TurboZamboni

Absolutely.


147 posted on 07/03/2013 3:09:14 PM PDT by Weirdad (Orthodox Americanism: It's what's good for the world! (Not communofascism!))
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To: Bullish

I haven’t drank anything on that list since I got out of high school. Only one I have any positive memories of is Milwaukee’s Best, and that’s just because of the joke a friend of mine said when he took a can away and handed me a different beer: friends don’t let friends drink Milwaukee’s Best. I think that could be said for all 36 really.


148 posted on 07/03/2013 3:11:01 PM PDT by discostu (Go do the voodoo that you do so well.)
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To: Gamecock

Good beer gives me Gout.

Phuque that. I’ll drink Port Republic to keep my toe from hurting.


149 posted on 07/03/2013 3:21:51 PM PDT by AppyPappy (Obama: What did I not know and when did I not know it?)
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To: andy58-in-nh

PiKapp road trip with Mickey’s Wide Mouth.

The only beer that came with its own bathroom.


150 posted on 07/03/2013 3:24:48 PM PDT by AppyPappy (Obama: What did I not know and when did I not know it?)
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To: andy58-in-nh

Then you have experienced the Genny Screamers

One of the most foul smelling and painful experiences ever.

Feels like your insides are being pulled out through your anus on a string, which is a stream that can cut a hole in porcelain.

With the added joy of gagging from a combination of the stench and runaway dehydration you are suffering

As it is marketed in TX as a Microbrew, Every time I hear someone say they heard Genny cream tastes good, I recommend they drink a 12 pack so they can have the true experience.

They always hate me afterwards


151 posted on 07/03/2013 3:33:05 PM PDT by 5Madman2 (There is no such thing as an experienced suicide bomber)
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To: woodbutcher1963

Grew up in the Rochester Gulag of the Peoples republic of NY.

OV splits. O hell yeah!!!!!!!.

Genny Beer-liked it. Still do when I visit


152 posted on 07/03/2013 3:35:18 PM PDT by 5Madman2 (There is no such thing as an experienced suicide bomber)
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To: ArrogantBustard

Great stuff but unavailable in Wisconsin :-(


153 posted on 07/03/2013 3:36:15 PM PDT by rabidralph (Gray State Movie)
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To: Vigilanteman

Adding an equestrian angle to the thread I see.


154 posted on 07/03/2013 3:56:45 PM PDT by Yardstick
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To: ArrogantBustard

Yuengling is good! Can’t buy it in CT.


155 posted on 07/03/2013 6:23:33 PM PDT by mojo114 (Pray for our military)
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To: TurboZamboni

Yep. Bring Busch to Limerock Park for the car races.


156 posted on 07/03/2013 6:27:29 PM PDT by mojo114 (Pray for our military)
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To: woodbutcher1963

Genny Cream was the first beer for me too back in the 1960’s! Have bought some since when we can find it in CT. still like it!


157 posted on 07/03/2013 6:36:14 PM PDT by mojo114 (Pray for our military)
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To: lardog

They took down the Building when they widened the Freeway in downtown L.A. Used to drive past it every day.


158 posted on 07/03/2013 6:36:53 PM PDT by Kickass Conservative (They can follow the Communist, I'll follow the Constitution...)
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To: laplata

Even today a ice cold PBR tastes great
for 20 dollars, you can get a 30 pack and some peanuts and still have cash left for a can a chew.
Thanks for your service


159 posted on 07/04/2013 1:23:03 AM PDT by Yorlik803 (better to die on your feet than live on your knees.)
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To: Yorlik803

Thank you!

I haven’t had a PBR in years but I think I’ll put some on ice. LOL


160 posted on 07/04/2013 8:27:52 AM PDT by laplata (Liberals don't get it. Their minds have been stolen.)
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