[fidelis]

I say whatever I want on Facebook, especially on pro-life issues and in sharing my Catholic Faith. If people don't like it, they can ignore it (like many of them do and like I do to a lot of stuff others post) or they can hide my posts (which I also do and I know others do to my posts), or they can "un-Friend" me (which I've know some have done and which I have done to others-- primarily because of excessive profanity or blasphemous talk-- I have a notice to that effect on my Facebook page-- or because they were OBNOXIOUSLY Liberal in their views. I never apologize for my views because I have a right to them and I am often convicted by God that I need to share them.

Having said that, there are nicer ways to put your views out there while still getting your point out there in an compromised manner. If you go around calling people "Hitler" or "murderers" or "stupid Liberals", they're not going to hear anything else you say-- all they hear is you are attacking THEM and not just their views. People don't usually give a fair hearing to someone calling them names or who question their motives, morals or intelligence. Say what you will and must, but try to be more subtle-- more like a little pinprick or stab to the conscience:

It helps to mix in a little humor in with your serious posts, as well. That way, you don't come across as a fanatical prig who is always serious about everything:

[jboot]

I know exactly where you are coming from. My experiences go back to the days of personal blogging before anyone had even dreamed of FB. In a nutshell, for being a unaplogetic conservative Christian blogger I lost most of my friends (online and real) and was nearly alienated from my wife (a long story involving a liberal, manipulative mutual friend and a serious misapplication of grace on my part). To this day if I post online anyplace but FR some of these former friends will appear and take up the old fights, only now peppered with extra gaysex promo. There is no such thing as "agreeing to disagree" with a liberal. They demand control of your conscience, and if you refuse them they will hate you for it.

So, I don't have a good answer for you. If you do as I did and do not apologize, you will lose the goodwill and probabaly the companionship of those family members. They will certanly unfriend you on FB. Expect the worst, really. On the other hand, if you apologize you will be compromising your principles. I would personally find that harder to live with that knowing that cousin Trevor won't take my calls and talks smack on me in front of the nephews down at the beach house. But your mileage may vary.

[Beowulf9]

I understand why they are throwing that particular sentence in your face. They are looking for you to ‘take it back’.

Not trying to get personal but maybe some of those women have had abortions and feel guilty. If you ‘take it back’ possibly they feel it will take away their guilt. This is all supposition I know, but my husband knew a girl who had an abortion (not his baby) and never got over her own remorse. If you ‘take it back’ then they still would not ‘get over it’.

If they have not had an abortion but just honestly feel that was overkill, they really do not understand your actual passionate clear thinking on the subject. They won’t, either, if we all ‘take it back’.

So on that thought alone, just drop the subject and suggest they do as well, and refuse to discuss it further. It will stop the outbursts, even if you have to leave the room to stop their haranguing you Tell them it is harassment, liberals understand ‘harassment’.

I have liberals in my family, too. They are young, my niece. Her husband has a band called, of all things, ‘Prague’. They call each other ‘Comrads’ and think it is funny. I doubt if they have any idea of what happened in Prague. It’s very hard not to go over there for me, knowing they will bring up my only blood relative with these moronic ideas.

Even here, on FR, from time to time there are outbursts. I try to be fair and either remain silent or refrain from personal attacks. It’s not productive and will never change someone’s mind. But you have to be true to your beliefs. Your beliefs are thought out, theirs are likely not, and they likely do not have the commitment you do to your ideals.

With people like that if you have to have an association, keep it light. Small talk, etc.

My sympathies, I go through it too. Sigh.

[American in Israel]

Take the advice of my Mom, when you have people you do not like in your life, lend them money.

[Revolting cat!]

Life is so much about losing, that after a while you’ll start jokingly spell the word, the way that many here do seriously as ‘loose’. I lost my job, I lost my sister, who made me lose my girlfriend, her best friend, I lost my daughter and granddaughter, I lost my best friend, he to death, and yesterday I lost my blue ink Pilot Varsity pen, and all that just in the past 3 years. Born to lose.

[dansangel]

Stay true to yourself. I have been the conservative black sheep of the family for years. They treat me somewhat as they would treat the “funny uncle” or “crazy cat lady” of the family. We have a rule not to mar visits with political discussion. When my husband was alive, we would end political topics “accidentally” brought up by my liberal parents by simply stating, “Our votes canceled yours.”

As for FB, I’m on there as a pseudonym strictly to discuss music and have dropped/blocked many overtly political “friends” when I find their posts offensive.

[sten]

i always endorse dropping contact with ALL liberals... this includes your family.

move if you must.

your life will be better in the long run.

[spel_grammer_an_punct_polise]

I walked away from my entire, extended family/blood relatives about 13 years ago and have not looked back. I am more peaceful for having done so.

[ken5050]

If I may inquire, I’m curious as to how you managed to turn out OK. Was thee one seminal event, or one person, that opened your eyes, or did your conservatism just “evolve.”

[Jyotishi]

Great thread, thanks for starting it! Every conservative who is having or has had encounters with abortionists/libs/leftists/socialists/communists/Marxists/Muslims or their supporters can learn something from the various opinions expressed here.

[Cold Heat]

There is no right way to handle it...You have to do what you feel comfortable with.

In my case I isolated myself from my relatives to the point that they no longer invite me to family functions and I don’t invite them.

There have been times when relatives have died and I never found out about it for months....but I don’t care. If that is too painful for you, you will have to compromise, but I guarantee you that any compromise will have to come from you because as they see it, you are the nut.

Like I said, it’s what you feel comfortable with.

[jobim]

Jobim's guidelines for harmony among Progressivist/religiously different family/close friends:

1) do what you can to maintain friendships with all family & friends - never be the one who breaks off
2) maintain your humor, your equilibrium - don't be coaxed into heated emotional discourse - always always speak cooly, rationally, and with a smile in times of disagreement
3) cultivate friends of like mind - these will be the ones you share with - family/old friends hold a different place in your life, and keep it that way, based upon commonality of past experience
4) Our Lord wishes use to seek Truth, and so we hold onto it, realizing that those without it are bereft, and deserving of our pity and/or compassion, and if this is not possible, make these exchanges funny

Politics & religion define us, and so it is important to engage with others in these 2 areas when we are able, and not shy away from good, healthy debate. But ideas are not personal, and as such, persons should never come under attack. If this can be accomplished, no relationships need be broken.

[oldmomster]

so, do you enjoy your time with them? do you think they are good examples for your children, family to follow? do you look forward to spending time with them around the holidays or do you have a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when November rolls around?

Is it possible they are merely a habit - that ‘family is important’ is a motto that your lefty relations now use as a club to wear you down? When your family no longer behaves in a civilized way by turning into a bunch of baby killing obamabots I’d say its time to cut your losses.

Stay on facebook if it helps you reach like-minded people, keep your relatives blocked. Try twitter for politics - its fun for finding ALL the articles out there. If your relatives complain - tell them ‘begone satan, for I am a child of Mary’. Thats what the nuns used to tell us in high school about 50 years ago. They think you’re nuts anyway so what do you care? Make the sign of the cross every time you see them and they misbehave. Have fun with it if you MUST see them.

Heard this in a movie - don’t know which one - ‘family is overrated’. My life got happier, less stressful and angst ridden once I cut the parasites and morons out - whether they were related to me or not.

[ALPAPilot]

Americans pledge their lives, fortune and sacred honor to secure the unalienable rights of their fellow citizens.

Just smile and say “God Bless.”

[mjp]

I am at a place where I need to either make peace with some of them for the good of the family by apologizing for offensive comments, or say, "I am who I am, and if it takes me shouting this from the rooftops for it to be heard then so be it."

Try a non-apology type of apology. I'm sorry if I offended you, but I am not sorry for giving my opinion or telling the truth.

[dagogo redux]

Find a retreat center or monastery where you can sit alone in a cell for 3-12 months in prayer, contemplation and meditation. Communicate with no one except yourself and God. You’ll get over many things, including your need to speak your mind to others, and your need to have others like you.

[PeevedPatriot]

I'm a recovered proabort lib :) My first piece of advice is to drop FB discussions. When I was proabort, prolife arguments rolled off my back. Nothing ANYONE said at that time would have changed my mind. When a person wishes to persist in a belief, they will persist. The other thing about FB is that you're helping the company raise revenue (via advertisements) to support their liberal agenda.

My second piece of advice is to let your light as a Christian burn brightly. Pray ardently and ask the Lord to take these people close to himself and change their hearts and repair wounded relationships. He's the expert at fixing what's broken :) Ask him to show you how to love those who act unlovable. And then walk the walk. Walk as a Christian in the light who tries to love all who cross your path, even those you know will reject you and what you stand for. By love I don't mean condoning sin, rather showing love and concern for individuals without supporting destructive beliefs. Live in joy and radiate it to others. Make them want what you have ;)

You wrote, "if it takes me shouting this from the rooftops for it to be heard then so be it". FWIW it wasn't words that changed me. No matter how loudly they were shouted. I heard the message loud and clear. I just didn't buy it. Most of us recoil when someone tells us we're wrong. We're prideful and look for reasons to bolster our beliefs not challenge them.

What I couldn't miss though was that there was something these people had that I didn't. It was authentic prolife Christians in their day to day lives that caught my attention and paved the way for me to see that I was being hypocritical in my Christian walk. That was an essential first step in converting me to the prolife position although other things had to take place before I came around. Only God can convert a heart but we can all help those hearts become more receptive to God's movements by witnessing with our daily lives the beauty of God's message. A saying often attributed to St Francis of Assisi is, "Preach often, using words when necessary."

Please understand I'm not suggesting that you're a hypocrite who's not living your faith. I'm saying that my experience in my proabort years was that you'd have caught my eye by the way you lived your life more than words you said to me. I'd have understood the respect that should be accorded to all life better by the way you treated me with courtesy, especially when I didn't deserve it, than by anything you posted online, no matter how logical or concise the argument. I was the "show me, don't tell me" type. Perhaps you're dealing some of these too.

God bless you :)

[SaraJohnson]

If they want to reject you for being free (stop talking to you), let them do their thing and act like you don’t even notice. You are not their slave nor their property. You are not beholden to their approval. Cozy up to the decent people.

After acting badly, if they bring up your politically incorrect thought and harass you, make fun of them back...”At least I am not cheering on anti-freedom, baby and grandma killers.” “Do you promote the diseases of anal sex too? Laugh at them. Make it short and snippy so they can comprehend your message and see it is going to get ugly if they keep it up. If they keep it up to harass you, you might have to pull out a picture of dead babies so they can understand what you are talking about and that they really don’t want to get into it with you. Or discuss the curse of AIDS, anal warts and anal cancer or the problem of wrecking your anal muscles and shitting all over yourself. How about the average lifespan of 46 years! (Whatever you bring up, be ready to back up with published data or pictures.)

Liberals are stupid, shallow sloganeers in their political and social thought and don’t like you out in the public square effectively holding up a mirror to them. Good to block them from your facebook page. Make it clear that they don’t dictate your thought and morals.

There is probably a ring leader. Identify that person. Isolate them as the ring leader of baby killin’ and turn the followers into accepting the political differences in the family without be childish.

We have two in-your-face liberals in the family and they are scared to death of me. My active, conservative sisters let them spout off without contradiction but I don’t. So they don’t like bringing up their politics to me nor harassing me about mine.

One forgot and objected to me organizing a Tea Party group (she called me a racist!) and so I gave her a box of tea bags for Christmas. I made a photo Christmas card with my husband and I dressed up for a Tea Party protest. It said “We can celebrate Christmas because we are free! Freedom Now! Freedom Forever! MERRY CHRISTMAS! I love you!

[GenXteacher]

Stay strong, keep believing what you know to be right, and be polite to those who are wrong. But never concede. Keep hitting the ‘like’ button on conservative stuff, and if they get pissed off, too bad.

[Shadowstrike]

Tell ‘em, you love them, you are STILL family with them, BUT...You cannot agree to disagree.

IF they ever really need you (as a family member) then they know where you are, but at this time, y’all just need to go your separate ways.

They’ll be offended as hell, but you will know that you took the right road.