Posted on 04/21/2013 6:21:00 PM PDT by nickcarraway
You know what's worse than late BART trains and increasing transit fares? The douchebags riding those trains. Unfortunately, there's nothing to be done about those passengers who shamelessly clip their nails, pass gas, and pick their nose. And even if you aren't one of those idiots who gives themselves a pedicure en route to Powell Street, everyone on BART hates you anyway, and this is why:
You pee/poop on our seats:
In case your mother hadn't told you, BART is not your personal potty, which means shitting and pissing on the escalators, floors, seats, and ticket machines is a no-no. If you can't hold it, then poop in your own pants, that's what your underwear is for.
You take up two seats with your crap while the rest of us stand:
Look, I don't want to sit next to you any more than you want to sit next to me, but I also don't want to stand. So move your Trader Joe's bags and your exercise ball or whatever the hell it is you feel entitled to bring on the train and give me that seat. And stop giving me dirty looks.
You talk too much:
Hang up the damn phone and stop yammering on about your stupid boss and organic groceries. Nobody cares and nobody on BART wants to hear your one-sided conversation, especially with that voice. That's what texting is for. Unless of course you are having a raging argument with your partner; then feel free to keep sharing that entertainment with us -- it's not like I can concentrate on my book now.
You cut in line while the rest of us wait like adults for a train: Do you see that line of people queued up by the tracks? Those people are waiting for the next train just like you are, except they've done the BART equivalent of taking a number. Everyone can see you lingering on the sidelines acting like you aren't waiting for the next train, and when the train arrives, everyone can also see you hop the line and be the first to grab whatever seats remain. But here's the deal: You didn't work any harder that day than the rest of us, and you sure as hell don't want to get home any faster. So get at the back of the line where you belong.
Thanks for sharing
After you cut in line, you refuse to make space for everyone else: What the hell is wrong with you? You are not entitled to your own cubicle on BART. Move back, and then keep moving so the rest of us who didn't cut in line can get on the train we've been standing around waiting for. Nobody is asking you to be all Emily Post about it, just make room for the herd.
You smell like ass:
Everyone complains about how disgusting BART is, but have you ever considered that it's not BART, it's you. Maybe you don't know it, or, worse, maybe you just don't care, but the rest of us can smell you and we do care as long as we're being packed inside that train where breathable space is as plentiful as BART seats during rush hour.
Ping
Dear Penthouse!
What has always impressed me about BART is the horrific racket you hear when riding on it. Like the sound track to a bad Sci-Fi movie.
Liberals and Progressives hate you.
The conditions on BART are just a symptom.
Isn’t SF Weekly a liberal rag?
In case your mother hadn't told you, BART is not your personal potty, which means shitting and pissing on the escalators, floors, seats, and ticket machines is a no-no. If you can't hold it, then poop in your own pants, that's what your underwear is for.You take up two seats with your crap while the rest of us stand:
Look, I don't want to sit next to you any more than you want to sit next to me, but I also don't want to stand. So move your Trader Joe's bags and your exercise ball or whatever the hell it is you feel entitled to bring on the train and give me that seat. And stop giving me dirty looks.
Ah, the genius of Urban Mass Transit, given to us by our Enlightened Pubic Servant Ruling Class.
The author forgets to mention all the times he sees the Mayor, SF District Attorney, and Chief of Police riding to work with him on the BARF line.
I'm sure it's just an oversight. After all, you see the same public officials taking the same train you do every day, pretty soon they stop seeming special. You start to see them as just ordinary folks, right?
David Rocker, is that you?
In some pervert circles that might be a draw in SF.
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Yep I have used public transport in other countries.
Some are as nasty as US but some places are actually civilized. People are clean, polite and act like humans.
But even there I hate public transportation.
Who the hell rides mass transit but losers, libtards (I repeat myself) and the homeless?
Besides, they don’t call them Massholes for nothing.
Union City BART station, Valentine's Day.
It is however entertaining to ride NYC public transportation, with the added bonus of being able to buy a 23 oz cup of beer at Penn Station for the trip back.
I think mass transit is pretty much the same everywhere.
In Japan there are “Women only” cars on the Tokyo subway because of all the male gropers.
I can’t count the times I had to sit beside someone on a Hong Kong bus that probably hadn’t had a shower since 1955
The subway and train stations in Italy smell like urine.
The Shanghai subway is new but the cars already look like they are poorly maintained
The tube trains in London are almost always dirty and filled with people who look miserable.
The subways in New York while better than they used be are still repulsive and sometime scary.
You can walk faster than the subway in Moscow
Yes I have ridden all of these
Well, poor people do and since we all have to pay for it, maybe the riders SHOULD raise hell and get the BART cops to do something about the feral people who abuse it.
I’ve never seen MooseChelle in a swimsuit before!
You have my sympathy. I’ll bet the German subways are good though. There seems to be some discipline there, and I’m not being sarcastic.
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