Posted on 04/09/2013 5:27:53 PM PDT by Darksheare
I just spent alot of time posting!
I see that, looks like you hit a small bump.
Pictured: Small Bump
What happened?
Well, someone set up us the bomb?
I'm serious!
Oh, well.. looks like your post got pulled.
Augh! I spent alot of effort on that! How did it happen?!
Couldn't be because you were doing it wrong?
What the, how'd you get that video of m-- uh.. I don't even wear that!
Right Skippy. *cough* Well, since you asked, here's how posts get removed.
First, if it is against TOS it gets seen.
Then it gets marked.
Okay, I have that much.
Then the mods gather:
Pictured, mods gathering.
I don't think that's how it looks, I..
Look, do you want an answer or not?
...Yes?
Right, carrying on.
Then they back their vehicle up to your post.
Whoah! What the heck is that thing?!
It's a machine, that eats other machines.
With this:
I don't see what this has to do with my post vanishing, can you tell me wha-
Watch it question boy! I have a flamethrower!
You want to vanish like your dog did?
What the?! No, not Roozer too!
To be fair, your dog WAS drunk.
What?! Who would even... please don't point that flamethrower at me.
Right, and after they saw your post off the entire forum, they set it on fire.
Wait.. that man. His face, and fire! Oh GOD WHY?!
Oh, HIS post was all about his face, so the mods set it on fire.
After that, they used the ashes to open a gate between our world and theirs, like this:
BLECH! That's horrible!
And those tentacles! GAAAH!
If you think that's bad, you should see what happens when the mods get their hands on a bad thread.
Pictured: Mod hands
Oh look, here comes a mod now.
Looks like they want to ask you about that thread you just posted.
Gaaah! Tell them I'm indisposed!
Pictured: Moderator, dunno which one.
Tell them yourself, they're right behind you.
Wait, don't run away!
We haven't gotten to what happens when they edit your thread title!
This concludes our sordid fictional tale.
If you liked that, we have plenty more in the book "Oh the horrible things you'll summon!" rumored to be written by IamnotaMod
| The English Mastiff: The Old English Mastiff is a massive dog. The Mastiff has a large, heavy, square head with a well-marked stop between the eyes. The muzzle should be half the length of the skull. The medium-sized brown to dark hazel eyes are set wide apart with a black mask around them. The nose is dark in color. The small, V-shaped ears are in proportion with the skull and are dark in color. The teeth should meet in a scissors bite but a slightly undershot bite is also acceptable in the show ring providing the teeth do not show when the mouth is closed. The tail is high-set with a wide base, tapering to a point and reaching the hocks. Coat colors include golden fawn, light fawn, apricot, silver, tiger or brindle. Temperament The Mastiff is a very massive, powerful, muscular dog. Dominance levels vary, even within the same litter, but it is often called a gentle giant. A born guard dog, the Mastiff rarely barks, but it is in its nature to defend its territory and family, and is more a silent guard rather than a barker. When an intruder is caught the dog is more likely to hold them at bay, either by trapping them in a corner or lying on top of them rather than an all-out attack. You do not need to train your Mastiff to guard. No matter how friendly it is, if it senses danger it will naturally guard on its own unless the owners are there to tell it otherwise. Self-confident and watchful, these dogs are patient and considered excellent with children. Intelligent, calm, even-tempered and docile, this breed is very large and heavy. They respond well to firm, but gentle, patient training. They love to please and need a lot of human leadership. Socialize them well to prevent them from becoming aloof with strangers. Owners need to be firm, calm, consistent, confident with an air of natural authority to communicate to the Mastiff that dominance is unwanted. If socialized with proper leadership it will get along well with other dogs. The Mastiff tends to drool, wheeze and snore loudly. It can be somewhat difficult to train. The objective in training this dog is to achieve pack leader status. It is a natural instinct for a dog to have an order in its pack. When we humans live with dogs, we become their pack. The entire pack cooperates under a single leader. Lines are clearly defined and rules are set. Because a dog communicates his displeasure with growling and eventually biting, all other humans MUST be higher up in the order than the dog. The humans must be the ones making the decisions, not the dogs. That is the only way your relationship with your dog can be a complete success. Height, Weight Height: Males from 30 inches (76 cm) Females from 27 inches (69 cm) One of the heaviest breeds, a male Mastiff can exceed 200 pounds. Health Problems Beware of hip dysplasia. As these dogs are prone to bloat, feed two or three small meals a day, instead of one large one. Also prone to CHD, gastric torsion, ectropion, PPM, vaginal hyperplasia, elbow dysplasia and PRA. Occasionally seen is cardiomyopathy. Living Conditions The Mastiff will do okay in an apartment if it is sufficiently exercised. They are relatively inactive indoors and a small yard will do. Exercise Mastiffs are inclined to be lazy but they will keep fitter and happier if given regular exercise. Like all dogs, the American Mastiff should be taken on daily regular walks to help release its mental and physical energy. It's in a dog’s nature to walk. While out on the walk the dog must be made to heel beside or behind the person holding the lead, as in a dog's mind the leader leads the way, and that leader needs to be the human. They should always be leashed in public. Life Expectancy About 10-12 years. Grooming The smooth, short-haired coat is easy to groom. Brush with a firm bristle brush and wipe over with a piece of toweling or chamois for a gleaming finish. Bathe or dry shampoo when necessary. This breed is an average shedder. Origin The English Mastiff was founded in Britain. A very old breed, it was depicted in Egyptian monuments as early as 3000 BC. The breed fought alongside British soldiers in 55 BC. Caesar brought a pack of Mastiffs to Rome where the dogs were put on display as arena gladiators and forced to be in fights with human gladiators, lions, bull baiting, bear baiting and in dog-to-dog combat. They later became popular with the peasants in England where they were used as a bodyguard, protector of wolves and other dangerous predators and as a companion dog. In the eighteenth century the Mastiff was described: "As a lion is to a cat, so is a mastiff compared to a dog." It is believed that a Mastiff came to America on the Mayflower. Later more were imported. Like most breeds by the end of World War ll, the breed was almost extinct in England. Dogs were imported from the USA and Canada and are once again well established in England. Some of the Mastiff's talents include: watchdog, guarding, police work, military work, search and rescue, and weight pulling. |
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Tom passed the driving test! Raucous Round of Applause. Maybe he can drive to his science lab later. It’s about 1/4 mile.
YAY, TOM!!!
Before we went in to the DMV parking lot, I had him practice the 3-point turn at the exact spot he’d be tested.
Elen has her science lab this morning and couldn’t go, but if she feels up to it, I could take her for another try this afternoon. I’d just like to get this all over with!
Good morning! A gorgeously rainy day for the garden! This is a sterling opportunity to run pesty errands, clean the house and enjoy quiet, peaceful indoor activities (unless Crowbar thinks that his stuffed hippopotamus deserves a trouncing—once, he sailed it through the air, across the living room, and into the dishpan.)
Tough being a hippo in your house! Jake is nicer to his catnip mouse.
I had the blissfully unemployed Bill water the gardens this morning. At least, he says he did, while I was at the DMV.
I visited a lady whose family raised Mastiffs. Four of them escorted her to the gate to admit me. They were dignified and purposeful, and only interested in making certain that the lady was OK. Their heads were the diameter of large pizzas.
Yay yay yay yay yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Don't hit anything.
2. Don't even look like you are going to hit anything.
3. Don't make anyone else hit anything.
4. Don't be hit by anything.
5. Don't be rude.
The entire vehicle code, with all its complexity and minutiae, stems from these five principles.
The pug is ordinary size.
The children are rilly, rilly small...
LOL!
That's like poetry.
Yah...small chillrun. Wee chillrun.
We can’t have any animal that weighs more that 20 pounds. Rip off, I think... I’d llike a German shepherd.
Las Vegas takes the cake on rudeness. Road rage is here to stay, and even I find myself being loudly rude in my vehicle with the windows up. Having them down and yelling rude things is suicidal.
Elen passed the permit test. Whoooohoooo! The staff all cracked up when I turned up again at lunchtime ;-).
YAY, ELEN!!!
Good jon for both kids! WOO-HOO!
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