Posted on 04/09/2013 5:27:53 PM PDT by Darksheare
I just spent alot of time posting!
I see that, looks like you hit a small bump.
Pictured: Small Bump
What happened?
Well, someone set up us the bomb?
I'm serious!
Oh, well.. looks like your post got pulled.
Augh! I spent alot of effort on that! How did it happen?!
Couldn't be because you were doing it wrong?
What the, how'd you get that video of m-- uh.. I don't even wear that!
Right Skippy. *cough* Well, since you asked, here's how posts get removed.
First, if it is against TOS it gets seen.
Then it gets marked.
Okay, I have that much.
Then the mods gather:
Pictured, mods gathering.
I don't think that's how it looks, I..
Look, do you want an answer or not?
...Yes?
Right, carrying on.
Then they back their vehicle up to your post.
Whoah! What the heck is that thing?!
It's a machine, that eats other machines.
With this:
I don't see what this has to do with my post vanishing, can you tell me wha-
Watch it question boy! I have a flamethrower!
You want to vanish like your dog did?
What the?! No, not Roozer too!
To be fair, your dog WAS drunk.
What?! Who would even... please don't point that flamethrower at me.
Right, and after they saw your post off the entire forum, they set it on fire.
Wait.. that man. His face, and fire! Oh GOD WHY?!
Oh, HIS post was all about his face, so the mods set it on fire.
After that, they used the ashes to open a gate between our world and theirs, like this:
BLECH! That's horrible!
And those tentacles! GAAAH!
If you think that's bad, you should see what happens when the mods get their hands on a bad thread.
Pictured: Mod hands
Oh look, here comes a mod now.
Looks like they want to ask you about that thread you just posted.
Gaaah! Tell them I'm indisposed!
Pictured: Moderator, dunno which one.
Tell them yourself, they're right behind you.
Wait, don't run away!
We haven't gotten to what happens when they edit your thread title!
This concludes our sordid fictional tale.
If you liked that, we have plenty more in the book "Oh the horrible things you'll summon!" rumored to be written by IamnotaMod
How sad.
She didn’t pass the test, so she has to take it again. If she passes, she’ll get a temporary chit showing she passed, and then the Official Picture Card mailed in a couple of weeks.
I’m also trying to get the girls’ passports, so they can go to England with my mother this fall. The passport application process requires both parents to appear with the children, sigh. Der Prinz will have to take off work.
It’s good, actually. This way, I don’t have to worry about “land mines.” Nothing irritates me more than an irresponsible pet owner. But don’t get me started.
Those aren’t mines, those are data pods.
The secret encoded message is ‘Don’t step there.’
It’s how D.O.G. units communicate between each other and the homeworld.
NicknamedBob ~ I think it sounds a bit friendlier than Otto.
Otto can be very friendly...
*ahem* that's what the one on the ceiling is for...
And here I used dodecahedral mirrored rooms as a form of torment and interrogation.
Oh, was that the point? I fell asleep.
You’d be surprised at the people who freak out in there.
Note the sign outside the door “Not a relaxation chamber for personnel.”
[Had to put that up after finding the books, cookies, and stereo system in there.]
That explains the ants.
You made me laugh this morning! Thanks!
Yeah!
Those things are hard to control.
And those were good cookies too.
The interview had been going well. Finally my interviewer got to the part that signaled he had no more questions. The signal doesn’t vary much from company to company. “Well,” he said, “that’s all the questions I have for you. Do you have any for me?”
I have a pretty good set of questions I usually ask to let him know I was paying attention and really care about the job. Usually I already know the answer but asking the question is important. In this case I really did have a question about something that had piqued my curiosity.
“That office over there,” I nodded my head to my left, his right, “I haven’t seen anyone go in or out since I’ve been here. What’s it used for?”
“Oh, people don’t go in there. That’s where we keep the zombie coders.”
“Zombie coders?” My poker face was nowhere to be found. “You have zombies in there?”
“Oh, yeah.” He said. “They’re great. Their code is as good as we ever got from people. They don’t mind working long, hard hours, and we don’t have to pay them a thing.”
“But, I thought zombies were dangerous.” I was making sure I knew where the exits were.
“Oh, not if you feed them well,” he assured me. “They really don’t have any interest in coming out of that room. The only reason they would is if they got hungry. We haven’t ever had a problem with that. They don’t even get noisy any more, although in the early days the sounds coming through the door would tell us they were hungry.”
“But, how can you feed them if...”
“Shh,” he interrupted me, “you’re just in time. Just watch.”
At that point a man came into the room and said, “Did someone order pizza?” My host pointed to the door and the pizza man said, “Thanks.” Then he opened the door. Immediately he was snatched and I heard the first part of a scream before the door shut behind him and muffled the sound of rending flesh. Nobody else in the room even looked up.
“Delivery guys are our salvation. There are way too many of them in this city anyway. Nobody cares when one goes missing. And there are plenty of food places around here so we can order delivery for over 3 months before we have to repeat. It’s a really sweet setup.”
I’m not sure what he was reading in my face at this point, but I noticed more movement by that door. A man in a suit and tie knocked on the door and said, “OK, guys, status time.” Then he opened the door and went in. I cringed waiting for the sounds I had heard from the pizza guy, but was surprised when nothing happened. A few minutes later the door opened and the man in the suit came out. “Thanks, guys. See you tomorrow,” he said.
“How did he do that?” I asked, my eyes surely as round as saucers at this point.
“Oh, that was the project manager. He was never in any danger. The zombies only eat brains.”
Prayers up for you and yours!
Ah—the man with the plan! Will cross fingers, eyes, legs, tentacles (oops, that you, not me) and any other unaccounted-for appendages.
That’s what they used to tell me about my guitar playing: “If you keep picking at that thing, it’ll never heal.”
I thought D.O.G. units used commodes for commo.
” That’s what they used to tell me about my guitar playing: “If you keep picking at that thing, it’ll never heal.””
Don’t be so callus....
That’s why project managers with brains are never long for the marketplace.
The zombie coders get them.
D.O.G. units tend to be hairy and slobbery.
Not at all communicative on our level ofunderstanding.
That’s how they can rapidly send messages around the neighorhood without us knowing it.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.