I heard a story one time about a real effective fishing method.
It seems Joe Bob was out fishing one fine morning and caught himself a nice bucket full of crappie. He was just putting his gear into the car when the game warden came by. “Looks like a nice catch, Joe Bob. I’m sure you have a license for these fish and I haven’t just caught you red-handed.”
Now, Joe Bob didn’t have a license, but he was a rather quick thinker, so he said. “I ain’t been fishing, Warden. I just like to come out here and sit. When I do, I put a bucket beside me and the fish just jump into it, sometimes.”
“You just sit here minding your own business and the fish just jump into your bucket?” the game warden asked.
“Yep, that’s about the size of it,” Joe Bob responded.
“You don’t expect me to believe that cockamamie story, do you?”
“Now, Warden. I wouldn’t lie to you. It really doesn’t take long at all, but your bucket can’t be too full. You just let me toss these fish into the lake and I’ll give you a demonstration.”
“This I have to see,” the warden said. So he stood back while Joe Bob tossed the fish into the lake. Joe Bob quietly turned and continued packing the gear.”
“Well?” the warden asked.
“Well what?” Joe Bob replied.
“Ain’t you going to show me how the fish just jump into the bucket?”
Joe Bob looked at him innocently and said, “What fish?”
But I thought crappie were racist... After all, there's black crappie and white crappie... and they compete for food. In addition, they attempt to hide their racism by disguising their true name, often going by the aliases of strawberry bass, speckled bass, speckled perch, calico bass, and Oswego bass.
Disclaimer: Over the years I have managed to catch and consume the white, black, speckled, and calico versions of this species. I celebrate their diversity (even if it is purely semantic)... ;-)
Found that what alias they were using depended on what river you caught them in...