Posted on 01/06/2013 12:00:02 AM PST by MacMattico
Please say a Prayer for my mother.
I don't think I've ever asked some one to pray for some one else before, but she's in a tough spot. If it is her time to go it will hurt terribly, but as Catholics and the fact that she is the most caring, loving person I have ever met, I know we will meet again in a better place.
I'm also extremely upset with the hospital, and I don't want this to happen to others.
On the day after Christmas, my mother was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with Pneumonia. They also told us her kidneys were not functioning very well, but not end stage or where she needed dialysis or anything like that. Her lungs had a lot of fluid in them. Fast forward four days and they said the fluid was gone as well as any sign of infection. But my mother was still mostly unresponsive and wanted to sleep all of the time. My sisters and I have been able to wake her on occasion and she will talk with us for a few minutes before going back to sleep. When she had the fluid in the lungs, they did not provide hydration as they said she couldn't handle it, antibiotics were intravenously given. So, obviously, at least to me, when they said the fluid was gone and infection cleared up, I expected to see the IV fluids begin, but they didn't. I demanded hydration be started and every excuse was given to me: she didn't need it, she woke up and drank enough,( not true, my sister and/or I were there hour after hour and she wasn't drinking). I asked the doctor if he were trying to kill her -- it was going on 3-4 days with no adequate fluids. I told him my mother was Catholic and would not want to die from dehydration and starvation-- that was her biggest fear. He then said she couldn't handle it. I said I was going to speak with an attorney if she didn't have IV hydration when I came back in an hour. I came back in an hour and she had three bags of fluids and basically sugar water hooked up to her IV. She has been on this ever sense, no problems. And of course her kidney function improved with fluids, obviously. You can't urinate without fluid!
Now we are well over a week and my mother has barely eaten. My family inquired into ways of feeding her, a tube through the nose, feeding tube, intervenously. The doctor absolutely refuses saying her organs can't handle it! I said if your telling us she's going to die anyway due to organ failure, we want some nutrition provided. He refused and said she can go without food much longer, but I reminded him she knows what is said to her, responds, and I had called the nursing home where she had been staying (because she had trouble getting around and making meals and taking her medication on time), and they said she wasn't eating well for approximately two weeks. So we're going on three weeks with little to no food intake! The hospital refuses to feed her ! My mother is weak and has diabetes-- I can't see how trying nutrition after all this time could hurt her any more! I argued with the doctor and he refuses to follow our wishes-- a nurse even tried to change her DNR which only indicated she didn't want CPR! I caught her and threatened her with calling the police as the whole family has seen the dnr and knows what's on it. I guess the doctors argument is because she is on oxygen at night it would make it easier for her to bring up any liquid in her stomach and choke to death and that her organs can't handle it-- yet he keeps saying "maybe next week" like she's going to get better! I really think he just wants her to die as quickly as possible, and it's killing me she is not being fed. He almost went ballistic when another doctor checked her out and she knew it was January, her name and that Obama was President-- she even rolled her eyes at the name Obama! He wanted to tell us she was brain dead or close to it, I honestly think. I don't know what to do. He's says she may choke at night with the intense oxygen mask they give her and her organs can't take food right now, yet the nurses had me trying to feed her from a tray yesterday! She took only one bite and fell asleep. I don't know what to do! The doctor acts like a feeding tube will be torture, I think starvation is. There are no family members that disagree with me. Our family Priest has says she has a right to hydration and nutrition, the doctor says no nutrition "in her condition" which he constantly changes. She is on Medicare (although with the best supplemental money can buy) and I think the death panels have begun.
Move Her Now. Find Another Place. Get Another Doctor.
And get legal assistance ASAP!
Logan’s Prayer Warriors...
Ice chips put into her mouth. Chocolate pudding, fed carefully...there ARE ways of sneaking food into her body. Yes, I know she’s diabetic and shouldn’t have sugar. But still. GET CREATIVE.
She DOES need OUT of there....
I’d even go so far as to physically remove her to one of your homes.
I agree with the others, move her tomorrow, or at least fire the doctor and get another.
Oh dear God.
I have no idea where you are, but please look into moving her now.
She needs another hospital and new doctors.
I’m praying right now.
If your family has a lawyer, call him now.
Were it me, I’d call the police right now, also.
First - Here’s a prayer for your Mom - That God’s will be done and that she be held up in Jesus’ Holy Name.
Second - Your profile does not say what State you’re in. Not trying to be nosy, but trying to find local resources would be easier if we knew.
Mac, I’d make a schedule of some sort so that one of you is with her, 24/7.
Summon your priest and tell him you’re in dire need and you’re going to sue. He might be able to talk some sense into those horrid people tending to your cherished mom.
Syracuse, NY
Almighty Father, please heal and help MacMattico’s Mother, help the family obtain for her the care she needs, and surround her with Your angels to protect her from harm. Please, also, Almighty Father, tend to all their needs and send assistance their way. I ask this in the Name of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
DNRs do get changed and many doctors and nurses just don't seem as interested in doing all they can for elderly patients.
From experience, I can tell you outcomes depend a lot on how much fight the person still has.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I went through the same with my father and grandmother. It's hard.
God bless both of you and help you and your family through this trying time.
I'm not there so you have to make the decisions. Do you have medical Power Of Attorney? If you don't have POA, you could be overruled and yes, they WILL kill her. The feeding tube is uncomfortable, but it won't kill her. Even if they don't want the one down the nose, they can put one thru the stomach wall if needed. Kidney shut down usually has a fever, check that. If they ever have to use dialysis, usually the kidneys won't start back on their own.
This all happened to my mother after a stroke. They just let her die. It's about money. You get a certain number of days in hospital, they you mover her to a nursing hospital for 21 days, NOT 22! On the 21 day, you must take her home or put her in a nursing home. When her money runs out, you go on medicaid. That's the normal scenario. I can't be forceful enough about this. IF YOU DON'T DO IT, NO ONE WILL! They are looking to get the bed back.
You must take positive action to find out what is being done, ask for another doctor's opinion, make sure you follow her vitals, Make sure you know what tests are done and what the results are. Look up the results on Google. Don't be fooled by the doctor. They are looking out for themselves and the hospital. Your mother is way down the list of their concerns.
It is hard to figure out if they are being reasonable, or just pulling the plug, especially when emotions are involved. My mother was cut loose from the nursing hospital in 21 days exactly and I only had about 4 hours to get her a nursing home. They had 4 bags of antibiotics on her in the hospital, but miraculously she didn't need any more on the 21st day. They cut her loose to go to the nursing home. She was dead in 7 days. I was with her all day and half the night, every day. The nurses acted as if everything was normal. Her kidneys shut down and she died of infection. She complained of thirst every day, but they said nothing by mouth. Supposedly she got fluids in her feeding tube. I'm not a doctor, but now we will never know. Her crime, ......she was a 3 time cancer survivor. IMO, they didn't want to spend anymore money on her at 80. She was healthy and getting better when she left the hospital. In the nursing home, it was downhill every day. She couldn't go back to the hospital for the same condition. All this goes unsaid till she dies.
I'm praying for you for wisdom and discernment, and for your mother to get a healing touch from God. God Bless.
Prayers for your mother and your family.
Amen, in Jesus’ name.
The country?
Is medical care nearby or far away?
My sister is headed up there in a few hours and we’ll make a schedule, I know it probably sounds shallow but I have to get some sleep before I drop. I’m eating dinner at 3:44 am! Then I’m going back up to confront the doctor when he comes back on duty directly who is not only making the decision but telling three other doctors not to go against his instructions, I don’t know maybe they’re his interns. One of them had agreed with us and he must have over ruled her as she suddenly had a change of heart after speaking with him. A couple of the nurses totally agree with us and have been trying to feed her but she’s so sleepy it’s like she can’t stay
awake to eat. Our Priest is going to see her Monday morning, but depending on what happens today I may call him earlier. I will threaten to call the police or an attorney from the hospital and see what he says.
After that, if you hear of a woman being arrested at a hospital in Syracuse, NY for threatening a doctor, it will probably be me!
Praying for your mother and her doctor. (working both ends)
God bless you..and your Mom....
You DO need sleep and food for the upcoming fight.. You’ve gotten some great advice on here, including Googling vitals and not taking their word for it. Be a united front, you and your siblings. Stand together for her.
We’ll continue to pray for all if you!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.