(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

[Lucky9teen]

It's that time of year again....

Here are some ideas (or not) for the kids....

This "Girls Only" toy is sure to inspire your daughter to reach for the sky...while dusting the high shelves.


So much for post-racial America.


Encourage your child's imagination to run wild as their Playmobil figures wait in line...
walk through the metal detector...are forced to throw out their shampoo. (PS -- It's almost 60 bucks)

Please don't give your child this toy. Please.


Gasoline-Powered Audi Two Seater Car For Kids - Get your little yuppie on his way with this gas-powered accident-waiting-to-happen.
For just under $14,000 you can watch your kid tear ass around the cul-de-sac at a maximum 13 MPH,
but keep it off the road because it's about as street legal as a lawn mower.


Reaction Extreme - The idea of this game is to not be the slowest person to buzz in or you get shocked.
Or, try the "Extreme" version where only the fastest player is safe and everyone else gets shocked. The point is: Electrocution = Fun.


I'm confused. I thought Spiderman was already an "Adventure Hero" and now he's dressing up in various outfits like a Barbie would?
He also apparently loves soccer and short shorts. (From i-mockery.com


A girl wears a special halter top with flowers instead of nipples that cause the baby to make sucking sounds and move its mouth.
The tagline for the toy reads, "Because you shouldn't have to wait until you have breasts before you start breastfeeding your baby."


The premise of "Video Girl Barbie" is simple: take a toy targeted for young girls and install (between the doll's breasts) a video camera capable of recording about 30 minutes of video. What better way to foster you daughter's interest in filmmaking than with a doll that looks like the Terminator?
(Check out the product's official site to see the cyborg up close.)

But before your kid gets excited about filming in breast-view, heed this warning from the FBI: In the wrong hands- specifically pedophile hands-
Video Barbie can be a "possible child pornography production method." For a full review of the product, check out TechCrunch.


A cross-over from "Fast Food Fails:" You have to give them credit for trying to secure their workforce as early as possible.


This is hands down the creepiest toy ever. Just watch.


Super Soakers' more extreme line of squirt guns were always intended for older children, and the "Oozinator" is no exception. Luckily, these boys appear just the right age to discover this addictive toy for the first time start using it a couple times a day (at least). Check out the full commercial here.


Dr. Drill n' Fill: The revolutionary new toy that promotes children's healthy and active lifestyle
by teaching them to associate fun with gouging out cavities. (Watch the commercial here)


Elmo has a little computer in his brain so he can learn your child's name and other phrases.
However, don't change the batteries or Elmo starts threatening to kill you. (Watch video here.)


This microphone is named after a rapper who’s known for using auto-tuning so he can sound relatively in pitch when he “sings”.
Now, in this no-child-is-allowed-to-be-mediocre era, your kid can get the illusion that he can sing,
even if he sounds like a cat held over a bathtub when he belts out the national anthem.


Under the loose category of chemistry, this perfume kit enables your children to mix potions and create a signature scent. There are aromatherapy options that purportedly help your child sleep or energize her even more. Essentially, it’s science for Snooki.
Perfumery retails for $19.99, and if your children don’t produce enough noxious smells on their own, it’s a viable option.


no comment


Pregnant Barbie - Where do babies come from? Good luck with that one.


Every parent wants their daughter to be covered in tattoos, right?

[r-q-tek86]

An adaptation of “A Few Good Men”...

CAST:

MEP Engineer: Jack Nicholson

Architect: Tom Cruise

MEP Engineer: You want answers?

Architect: I think I’m entitled to them.

MEP Engineer: You want answers?!

Architect: I want the truth!

MEP Engineer: You can’t HANDLE the truth!!

Son, we live in a world that has CHILLERS, BOILERS AND SWITCHGEAR. And those PIECES OF EQUIPMENT have to be LOCATED IN ROOMS. Who’s gonna DESIGN THEM? You? You, MR. ARCHITECT? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.

You weep for LOST PARKING SPACES and you curse the SIZE OF MY GENERATOR. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that THOSE MEP SYSTEMS, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives...You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you WANT me on that DESIGN TEAM. You NEED me on that DESIGN TEAM. We use words like DESIGN, CODE, ANALYSIS...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent PROVIDING OWNER COMFORT AND ENERGY EFFICIENCY. You use ‘em as a punchline.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain my DESIGN to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very ENVIRONMENT I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a DUCTULATOR and DESIGN a BUILDING SYSTEM. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

Architect : Did you OVERSIZE THE MECHANICAL AND ELECTRICAL ROOMS?

MEP Engineer : (quietly) I did the job you HIRED me to do.

Architect : Did you OVERSIZE THE MECHANICAL AND ELECTRICAL ROOMS?!!

MEP Engineer : You’re g-ddamn right I did!!

[r-q-tek86]

I used this one today. True story.

I wanted to... really, really wanted to... but my boss is pretty mean and won't let stuff like that fly.

[BenLurkin]

I like it!

[ArGee]

[r-q-tek86]

For the record, I was wrong about you being in a 1,500 post OFST... It was only 1,438.

OFST from the old days

[unique1]

[JRios1968]

Bill Clinton's new dog

[JRios1968]

[BenLurkin]

Video: Airline fined for mid-flight bikini show.... http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelvideo/9467006/Airline-fined-for-mid-flight-bikini-show.html

[ArGee]

I shall have to wear the cone of shame.

[ro_dreaming]

Only thing I’d fix is that Armstrong’s first words were “Housotn, Tranquility base here, the Eagle has landed”. And THEN he said “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind”.

Houston - my home, and I’m proud of it - was the first word spoken by man from another planetary body.

[ArGee]

OFST from the old days

Those were the days, my friends.
We thought they'd never end.

If you review that thread, you will see it was more than some silly posts, it was actually a community of silly people who truly cared about one another and our silly contributions to a silly world.

Needless to say, we were all a bit psycho.

Then again, fish hate bicycles, so what are you gonna do?

[ArGee]

Houston was nice then.

When I left in 2001, it weren't much.

[ArGee]

Q: How can you tell when the poster on OFST is a little insane?

A: Buicks have trouble backing over bricks.

[ro_dreaming]

True story

I called in last week - just said I’m not going to make it today. The “why” was not given.

However, the “why” was I was still drunk from the day (and night) before. Figured it best if I just sleep it off.

I know I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, but I really don’t want to do that again.

At least, not right now. I’m too much of an idiot to NOT do it again.

/know thyself

[ro_dreaming]

It’s not too bad. I just work here. I live in the boonies (40 miles outside of town on a nice little patch of land).

[TheOldLady]

I almost never get that drunk. I learned my lesson from observing my dad (RIP). Last night was an exception, and I forgot to send a message to a friend and had to apologize today because of it, but I did come clean and told the truth.

I love Texas, BTW.

[r-q-tek86]

I thought it was intesting that the high water mark in terms of posts was the OFST that was immediately following a somewhat drama filled thread.

I do miss the gang. I still get emails from JRBC and I see millie on fb, but those days were really fun. I have not heard from F/A in years. I’m sure people thought we were enemies, but he and I became good friends outside the threads.

I still see maxi all the time. He hates that I call him Max in real life...like anyone would know what that means.

[The Chief]

I was almost seated on a jury today, but thankfully was not selected! I wonder how long it will take me to get my $40?

[llevrok]

Buicks have trouble backing over bricks.

Yeah. It's crackers when you slip a rozzer in the dropsie and snide

Good times, man. Good times......