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Vanity: For My Dad, who has Alzheimer's
Sad heart | 11/10/12 | Self

Posted on 11/11/2012 12:09:12 AM PST by Yaelle

I wrote this tonight and just need to share it. Maybe some of you have family members with this insidious disease too.

Hello; it's good to see you.
I don't remember why it's good to see you, but it is.
I know I like you, and my eyes crinkle in evident delight that you are here.
Immediately I want to rattle off something witty and topical, 
But I don't remember the words right.
So I look for something I can see, and relate it to you.
It's good to see you.
My smile is not like my smile of before.  It's full of undivided pleasure.
When you used to come, I'd have a frown right after my quick grin.
The market is down; my team lost; there's a plumbing problem; I've got so much to do.
I'd cut the visit short because I was so busy.
Now, for now, nothing impedes the pleasure I have at just meeting your eyes.
I know I like you.
Later my expression will seem pained.  It may be time for you to go.  
Stimulation makes me very tired after a while.
I still walk like I did, hale fellow well met.
I know I used to feel important.  I still do.
I don't remember why.
I don't remember that I used to juggle so many balls in the air;
I ran a business, took jobs on the side, volunteered, and traveled the world.
Numbers and bills and stocks and payrolls flew in and out of my head all day, 
Things it now takes six people a lot of time to do instead.
I used to read trade papers, journals, novels, biographies.
Now I read each piece of mail with equal interest, 
Even if it has an envelope that reads, "You may already be a winner."
I love to see my family.  I ask questions of my older grandchildren 
But they aren't the curious questions I used to ask.
Still, I try to ask a question, even if I don't get the words right.
I want to still tell them I love them
But I can't.
I want them to grow up like me, putting the most important things first.
It didn't always work with their parents but I hope it skips a generation.
But I can't get it right so I just smile at them and try to ask them if they are happy.
I still crouch down and play with my little grandchildren.
Nothing has changed!  We connect in a special way
And that is all we need.  We laugh.  We play.  We roll a ball together.
I hope they remember playing with me.
I am so glad you came.
I long to share with you something I thought about recently.
I can't.  
I love getting your opinions.  I just don't remember on what.
But it's good to see you.
I know I'll be smiling big when I see you next time.


TOPICS: Health/Medicine
KEYWORDS: alzheimers; brewersyeast; dementia; diamondvxpc; father
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I've had so much joy in my life. But this part isn't so great.
1 posted on 11/11/2012 12:09:16 AM PST by Yaelle
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To: Yaelle

Oh, Yaelle. That is one of the most poignant pieces of personal prose I have ever read. G-d bless you for posting so much shining and unconditional love on this forum in the midst of these ugly, dark days.
You have honored your father.


2 posted on 11/11/2012 12:20:39 AM PST by MestaMachine ($)
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To: Yaelle

I hope maybe someone might see this and it might make someone else feel not so alone.

I don’t know whom to ping.


3 posted on 11/11/2012 12:20:58 AM PST by Yaelle
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To: Yaelle

Nice.

Been there.

Let me know if you need help or just to talk.

There are others on here who have been down your walk as well.

You are not alone.


4 posted on 11/11/2012 12:21:31 AM PST by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: MestaMachine

Thanks, Mesta. I love him so much. He did everything for me.

He survived the Holocaust as a small child and went on to make something of himself. He was quite a success and a great father. He didn’t deserve to end up like this but Gd has His reasons.


5 posted on 11/11/2012 12:23:29 AM PST by Yaelle
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To: Yaelle
Oh Yaelle! My heart goes out to you! Alzheimer's is such a cruel disease. It was easily the hardest thing my family has ever experienced. May God lift you up and lighten your burdens my friend!
6 posted on 11/11/2012 12:23:40 AM PST by Casie
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To: MestaMachine

My dad has Alzheimer, and this hit me hard. Thanks for posting and may God be with you and your family in these hard days.


7 posted on 11/11/2012 12:24:20 AM PST by winner3000
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To: Vendome

Can’t see through these tears.

I must not be alone if the stats are true that half the people over 85 have it. He is only 81.

Thank you so much.


8 posted on 11/11/2012 12:24:56 AM PST by Yaelle
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To: MestaMachine

My dad has Alzheimer, and this hit me hard. Thanks for posting and may God be with you and your family in these hard days.


9 posted on 11/11/2012 12:25:11 AM PST by winner3000
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To: Yaelle

Hey, my dad suffered from some sort of dementia too. But I helped him get better. My sympathies.


10 posted on 11/11/2012 12:26:06 AM PST by MetaThought
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To: winner3000

I am so sorry. It’s just plain unfair for them.


11 posted on 11/11/2012 12:26:58 AM PST by Yaelle
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To: Yaelle

My aunt has Alzheimer’s. I know how it feels.


12 posted on 11/11/2012 12:28:29 AM PST by max americana (Make the world a better place by punching a liberal in the face)
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To: MetaThought

What helped him? Coconut oil?


13 posted on 11/11/2012 12:33:12 AM PST by Yaelle
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To: max americana

I’m sorry, Max, my fellow conservative angelino.


14 posted on 11/11/2012 12:34:17 AM PST by Yaelle
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To: Yaelle

My grandmother had alzheimer’s. After she was too far gone, my mother wouldn’t let me come with her to visit. In some ways, I love her for that because I want to remember my grandmother as she was, vibrant and full of energy. I could see how difficult it was for my mother.


15 posted on 11/11/2012 12:35:31 AM PST by grateful
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To: Yaelle
My prayers for you and for your Dad. I walked that path with my Mom and it just broke my heart. Such a cruel disease. We moved her in with us so she could be taken good care of.

If you ever need a shoulder, I've got two of them here for just such leaning. You're welcome to them.

God Bless you!

16 posted on 11/11/2012 12:40:28 AM PST by oldteen
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To: Yaelle

That is wonderful Yaelle. Your dad sounds like a lovely person. Thank you for sharing that with the forum.

I, too, have a dad with Alzheimer’s and a maternal side aunt with it that lives in Canada.


17 posted on 11/11/2012 12:44:36 AM PST by beaversmom
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To: Yaelle

I understand. My Mom has Alzheimer’s or some kind of dementia. It is insidious. She knows what’s happening and hates it and hates the trouble it is for me. And I can’t do anything about her condition and I hate that and I hate the suffering it’s causing her.


18 posted on 11/11/2012 12:46:34 AM PST by TigersEye (Who is John Galt?)
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To: Yaelle

Diamond V XPC, it’s a form of brewer’s yeast, and its good stuff. It’s animal feed (!), but I’ve found it more effective than epicor the human version. Let me know if you want more info.


19 posted on 11/11/2012 12:47:55 AM PST by MetaThought
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To: Yaelle

Dementia is difficult, it’s just so sad to witness the decline. In certain circumstances it may be something of a mercy at times for affected persons themselves, though. Try to be grateful that he’s happy. That’s not always the case.

My late grandmother cried and begged to go home constantly, although she didn’t know where that was or who we were, and prior to that, when we tried to keep her in her own home she’d wander off, scaring everybody to death. She eventually became mean, vrrbally abusive then physically violent to the extent an 88 year old woman could be described as such.

We loved her and mourned her passing, but it was a relief and a blessing when she did. I’m very torn about saying that, and disagree profoundly with some of the conclusions others might reach as a result of such an observation. She lived her full life and died a natural death.

That is as it should be.


20 posted on 11/11/2012 12:48:07 AM PST by RegulatorCountry
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