Posted on 10/17/2012 10:48:23 AM PDT by trailhkr1
Agree about 100% though intimacy is still critical to a healthy marriage... both sexual and non-sexual... physical and emotional. Without it you drift apart and lose sight of why you are together in the first place. Intimacy(physical) keeps the bond strong, w/o you are just room mates with a tax deduction.
I do agree with the Dennis Prager’s analysis of men and sex, but the crucial word was “mature”. Most young men are not ready for commitment and raising a family although Kirk Cameron would disagree with that. Maybe, he is right—it is a morality issue. There was a time when young males were married and raised families successfully. The culture demanded it. There was great shame involved if immorality was flaunted.
Mature people, have control of their base instincts (by definition). ....which is possible....the game does change, and with morality, the idea of long term commitment, especially when creating children, is powerful in men, too. Agreed—not like the maternal instinct in women.
Some people can ignore the sex drive when totally absorbed in philosophical study or in an area of extreme interest. Certainly women, more than men, but many men have lived life that way in the past. Your brain can be directed in a moral, constructive way even if you are male, but it takes intellect over instincts—which of course is what delineates us from the beast.
Our culture sexualizes everything—even young children now, through “Sex Ed” which puts an unhealthy preoccupation on sex. I read where it is creating a lot of impotency in the male and their interest in sex has greatly declined-—expectations are so absurd—in both women and men—the stress prevents the act. Even young men have to take viagra to “preform” like in the movies.
It is the Brave New World....artificial behavior—emotion created by a pill—to ignore the underlying real emotions. It is very unnatural what our culture is forcing in the minds of young children—and creating expectations which are actually sick and unnatural.
Cultures do shape attitudes....the sexualization is the same as what happened in the Weimar Republic in 1920. It is mentally ill behavior which will lead to collapse of the culture and all long term relationships.
There are two world views:
Naturalism - that this world we see/touch/hear/feel/smell is all there is. Human beings are sacks of flesh, with no transcendent purpose or meaning, no eternal soul, just meat, and getting while the getting is good (how ever people think) is all there is to this temporary life. “Morality” is man made so what’s “true for you is true for you, and what’s true for me is true for me”. Or morality “evolves” as people toss off the prison restraints of religion based do’s and don’t’s and are now “freer” since the old prohibitions are thrown in the trash.
God Centered World View - That life has transcendent meaning that is not dependent on human minds; that God created everything, and all humans are in fact eternal souls, with meaning and purpose to life that comes from God, and not just human minds thinking up stuff. Therefore, since God exists as the supreme creator, controller and authority, He makes the rules and laws and it is not only humans’ responsibility to follow find out and follow these rules and laws, but by doing so individuals and societies will be more peaceful and happy by doing so.
Every religion has very similar if not almost exactly the same, rules for sexual behavior. Sex within marriage, open to the prospect of children, is the universal original standard. On the other hand, the Naturalist world view has no standard at all, other than “do it if it feels good”. Accompanied by “anyone who has religion based moral standards is weird, wrong, mentally ill, prejudiced, harmful, etc”.
If a human being does not seek transcendent truth - God centered meaning and purpose to his life, then such a human life is actually worse than animal life. Living just for sex (or any other sensual gratification) is no different than an animal life; except for these two factors:
1. Animals have no choice in the matter, as they are ruled by instinct and have little (almost none) free will or the ability to contemplate the meaning of life.
2. They do not act against their nature (unless tortured in zoos etc) because their instincts are God given and they have their roles to play in the universe (their eternal souls’ existence is another story for another day).
Whereas humans DO have free will, so for a human to misuse the human life by living just for sensual gratification without searching after transcendent meaning and purpose to life, such a human is actually behaving WORSE than an animal, who has no choice. Your obsession with sex without any relation to marriage, family, children or morality puts you smack dab in the “lower than animal” category.
Which is a sad waste of a human life.
Believe it or not, I do not hate or loathe you in any way. But I do abhor your mentality and the message you post non-stop on FR. You seem to post almost solely on threads about sex, constantly pushing the “if it feels good, do it” message.
I do see you as a suffering soul, clinging to temporary and shallow gratification as the all in all in your life. Unfortunately, the flash of sexual pleasure is not only over quickly, but it is shallow, and cannot fill the heart with the deepest joy, wisdom or real satisfaction. Not only that, it gets duller with the passing of time and the aging of the body, which is inevitable, except for those who depart from the body at a young age. And sex pleasure sought for without any reference to marriage or family or children is especially shallow and eventually becomes very bitter. And invariably requires birth control and abortion and also invariably results in huge numbers of fatherless children.
Sex for most people is a necessity, just as eating is a necessity for everyone. But eating just for to gratify the tongue, caring nothing for nutrition or health, leads to obesity and myriad health problems. While eating healthy food in proper quantity not only nourishes the body with what is actually needed, without loading it up with toxins and vile “non-food items”, is actually tastier and more satisfying, once a person is weaned from the unhealthy junk.
Similarly, a sexual relationship within marriage, taking the responsibility of children and family into the picture, makes the sex act “just for the release” akin to snacking on junk food. The sex life of husbands and wives who love each other in a committed marriage is always reported to be much more satisfying than that of the hookup/temporary “relationship” slut crowd.
You claim that 97% of men would jump on a slut gladly. This speaks volumes about you and the people you know, and does not reflect reality. None of the men I know well would jump on a slut gladly.
Great comments.
Another great comment.
Never? I can tell you, you are very wrong here. I've met plenty of women that wanted sex. And only sex, nothing more.
I never said "jump a slut" but a young, attractive woman who propositioned them for sex...maybe a coworker or a friend ...there is a difference....not all woman who need some "relief" every so often are sluts..far from it. And 97% of single/unattached men (and sadly a significant amount of married men) would if the woman was attractive ..you are totally clueless if you think otherwise...ok maybe 90% would be more in line.
Being a female you have no idea the sex drive of males. Look at all the female teacher/younger male student threads and how many guys on FR wish they were the kid.
Your male friends who would not have a no commitment sexual contact with a young, attractive woman are not the norm(good or bad)..trust me on that one.
bump for later
“Slut” means a woman who will have sex with someone without any relationship or commitment. I know many young men, sons of friends, and they would not jump on a woman for casual meaningless sex.
You have no idea of my life, my sex drive, my friends, or apparently, what morality is and why it is vital to human existence.
Too many men, are pulling their pudding in front of porn.
Porn is the easy way to have sex, no muss, no fuss and no complications.
Oh please. I was informed of just the opposite the third day of my now decades-old marriage.
_______________________
And so were some women. Believe me, living with a saint was not all it is cracked up to be.
one of the funniest comediams of all time...
Once the children are born, the nurturer/mother chemicals take over. You might as well not exist. Hopefully you go through this phase while you are both relatively young, because the best is yet to come. No pun intended ;-)
At some point, if you are both still in love, and very lucky, she will develop a libido in her late 30's to mid-40’s. If you still find her attractive, it would help you to know that she's probably not as self conscious, and up-tight as she was when she needed to impress you.
Now. if you try some romance, you just might get her to play. And laugh. And love.
Try to remember what you saw in each other, if you want it back. And it will be, or at least could be, better than it was before. Old love is fun.
Because they spend too much time as research study subjects?
That many times! Wow, you are lucky. Jealous.
Do you check for flippers?
I think when people get stuck in the trance desire and use it as a measuring stick of pleasure and love, they proceed to screw up the natural flow of intimacy because it's just not exciting enough...like it used to be. It's what some call being shallow - an adult character without depth.
Then they get stuck and their relationship (and the individual involved) does not mature naturally. They don't move on to learning unconditional love, forgiveness, mercy, sharing, etc. and derail into resistance and conflict and eventually violence and/or abandonment. If they fail to learn, they will do it again and again.
Also, sexual abuse in childhood (mental and/or physical) can mess the natural development of deep, mature relationships and individuals and block intimacy and the other aspects of love. This is why I despise the left interrupting the normal development of children by inserting their adult sex agenda, feminazism and bent materialistic attitudes into their “education” and entertainment. Some of the children are going to grow up totally and unnaturally twisted and won't be able to have healthy or natural relationships. That is a grave offense against children.
About men not being that interested in commitment; those guys are socialized not to appreciate their existence and meaning beyond sex and material. Same with women who are like that. Some males (and some females) are socialized to believe that non-material (non-sexual) aspects of love are of a female only or a lie.
There is great vulnerability required in a deep relationship. Some men (and women) have been taught to avoid that for self protection but in time, they will experience it with their wife (or husband) in a natural relationship (if they are fortunate). Mature intimacy comes out of those experiences of vulnerability.
Just letting you know that trailhkr1 has been escorted from the building. Turns out he’s sent more than one freeper weird explicit freepmails. In addition to his obsessive one track mind type of comments.
His posting history in case anyone wants to verify:
http://www.freerepublic.com/tag/by:trailhkr1/index?tab=comments;brevity=full;options=no-change
I did not advocate for trailhkr to be banned. LJ pinged me because I am a conservative. I have not advocated for any Freeper be banned.
Trailhkr’s posting history is single minded, so to speak, so I assume this tipped him over. There are better forums to chat about adult sex.
Happy trails to you trailhkr. Get married, make babies and love your wife forevermore. Return to your faith. :)
I pinged you since up the thread I had replied to both you and trailhkr1 and figured you’d want to know why he doesn’t return to the thread. Although that is often SOP for him anyway, once the discussion turns deeper.
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