[Vanity] Weird Stuff You Believed Or Did As A Really Young Kid Humor

myself | 9-24-12 | Trailhkr1

[trailhkr1]

Jeesh I was dumb but I know I am not the only one who thought this stuff. See below. Add yours

[IrishPennant]

You know how your pee is more yellow sometimes than others?

Bless you for opening the body function door! Problem is I did not go through this "what we thought" moment as a child.

Granted, I survived the typical Dad stories about cows in the mountains walking around steep hills having two shorter legs on one side so they could stand straight when they walked, and what I now know to be his attempts at "selective" heredity by allowing all five kids to stand up in the back of the truck, or sit on the rails while he drove down the road at unlimited speeds (we all survived)...

...My moment came in Boot Camp in the Corps...At the Chow Hall you had a choice of milk, water or juices...one of which was grape juice. Being one of five kids, when grape juice came into the house it did not last long, so massive and continual amounts of grape juice never entered my body...until then.

For at least the first three weeks of Parris Island I drank nothing but grape juice...it was so good when it shot out of that little machine straw into a glass...I still love good grape juice today, over thirty years later.

Yet one morning there in Boot Camp, trying to do my business in the brief time allowed a young recruit, I remember standing up, turning around to flush and seeing my, um, how to put this...fecal matter was green and immediately thought to myself, "What have I gotten in to...they even camouflage your crap green in the Corps - and went with this for a few hours in my mind...wondering what mad scientists came up with the formula, and how to get in into the recruit's body to hide his poop in the woods (desert warfare wasn't the thing yet in the early 80's...thank goodness, huh?).

I honestly think I made it to rack time that night before I remembered the grape juice and actually laid off of it for a few weeks...

Still wonder about the saltpeter though!!!

[fidelis]

When I was little, I thought you could actually dig your way all the way through to China. Gave it a couple of good tries in my back yard.

[Mier]

Mairzy doats and dozy doats
And liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn’t you?
Yes! Mairzy doats and dozy doats
and liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn’t you?

Mares eat oats and does eat oats
and little lambs eat ivy,
a kid will eat ivy too, wouldn’t you?
If the words sound queer and funny to your ears,
a little bit jumbled and jivey,
Well mares eat oats and does eat oats
and little lambs eat ivy,
a kid will eat ivy too, wouldn’t you?

I haven’t heard that song since I was a kid and I never knew
what it meant until now. You cleared that up for me! I always thought it was a mumbo jumbo British song or something? They talk weird any way!

[Smokin' Joe]

By the time I was a toddler, I had figured that if I cut myself, all my insides would run out. I was terrified of bleeding.

Once my mother set that score straight, there was no stopping me...

[old and tired]

I used to think all dogs were boys and all cats were girls.

If you had to wait until you were 15 to know that priests drink, are you sure you're Catholic?

[Smokin' Joe]

When I was just back from my first year of college, my cousin asked me about the rose quartz pebbles which were pretty common in one of the tobacco fields.

I told him those weren't really rocks, those were rabbit eggs.

Little did I realize....

My Aunt called a couple of hours later...when she opened her oven to see why it was on 'low', out poured a huge pile of warm rose quartz pebbles...

My cousin was going to hatch and raise a mess of rabbits!

I never thought he'd believed me, or I would have told him I was just kidding...

[trailhkr1]

If you had to wait until you were 15 to know that priests drink, are you sure you're Catholic?

I knew they drank wine but thought whiskey was a no no.

[Ditter]

LOL! How old was your cousin?

I remember when it dawned on me that rabbits didn’t lay eyes was when I was trying to convince another kid that rabbits really did lay eggs.

It was one of those “ am I really this stupid?” moments!

[DouglasKC]

No joke: I saw a whistle with the little ball that spins around, and I thought if I could pee hard enough, I could get my .... balls... to make it whistle, too! I really thought that.

Wait...that doesn't work for everyone??

[DouglasKC]

One summer when I was six or seven we were going through a very bad heat wave. One day I think it got up to maybe 101 or 102 (in Michigan!)

We had a cat and it was just laying around doing nothing with it’s tongue hanging out. I asked dad what was wrong, he said it’s fine, just overheated. W

The next day same heat, cat acted the same way. So I figured I would help it by putting it in a cool place. The freezer. Being six or seven I forgot about it until the next day.

Sure enough, the cat was frozen stiff. I took it outside because I didn’t want to get in trouble. The neighbor kids saw it. One of them suggested putting gasoline down it’s throat to “start it” because that’s how lawn mowers and cars worked. Being six or seven that sounded like a great idea.

So I poured gas down its throat. After about 30 seconds danged if that cat didn’t loosen up and start running around. Almost in a frenzy. It ran around the yard bounced off the garage, hit a tree and then keeled over.

[annieokie]

Your funny. Think this song was meant for you. It is a sweet little song about a Bad little boy, will make you smile.

http://susie1114.com/Christmas/badlittleboy.html

[annieokie]

I used to sing that to my kids all the time, and they learned it as well.

One day, many years later, my daughter called me and said, "MOM, do you know what that song says?"

Me: well yes.

Her: "why didn't you tell us?"

Me: "So that one day you too would have that AHA moment" that was the fun of it all.

So now you know, isn't it fun?