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The Best and Funniest Country (esp. the South and Mid-West) Expressions [Vanity]
Pharmboy | 9-21-12 | Everyone

Posted on 09/21/2012 1:58:04 PM PDT by Pharmboy

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To: Pharmboy
Hornier 'n a 3 peckered billy goat
201 posted on 09/21/2012 7:46:30 PM PDT by bankwalker (In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.)
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To: yarddog

What church did they go to?

Not to pry but just wondering about the tidy language.

I guess I never ever heard my grandparents swear though my daddy liked a good cussin’.

My mom-—and I guess her parents on occasion too-—would call us “little scheisters,” using the German for sh!+, and my mom would also say “you little pee-ought” which I deduced after she died, too late to ask her, probably stood for P.O.-—as in we had got her p.o.’d....


202 posted on 09/21/2012 7:47:31 PM PDT by Fightin Whitey
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To: Holly_P
“That boy don’t have the sense that God gave a democrat.”

LOL, I've heard variations of that, too. Most ended with "... gave a mule" or "....gave a mosquito" or "...gave a sheep."

I guess those are all good stand-ins for Democrat! :-)

203 posted on 09/21/2012 7:49:21 PM PDT by workerbee (The President of the United States is DOMESTIC ENEMY #1)
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To: 5Madman2

Feel like I’ve been shot at and missed, and sh&# at and hit.


204 posted on 09/21/2012 7:50:22 PM PDT by 21twelve (So I [God] gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices. Psalm 81:12)
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To: workerbee

This guy I know told his brother in law
“You’re just like a goose, you wake up in a whole new world every day”.


205 posted on 09/21/2012 8:03:59 PM PDT by Lurkina.n.Learnin (Ignorance is bliss- I'm stoked)
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To: Fightin Whitey

My Paternal G Grandfather was the Methodist Circuit Rider for a part of S.E. Georgia. In his later years he converted to a Southern Baptist. His Son, my Granddaddy was also a Southern Baptist. He attended Southern Baptist Seminary in Louisville.

My Mother’s family were also Southern Baptist tho I think they were at first Pentecostal.


206 posted on 09/21/2012 8:04:27 PM PDT by yarddog
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To: Cloverfarm
When my dad gives directions he often includes “pert near” and “yonder.”

Cape Cod version: "Down the road a piece."

More from Back East:

(Stingy or thrifty person): "Tighter'n the paint on the wall."

(Too verbose): "He could talk the ears off a brass monkey."

(Old person): "He (she) was around when dirt was young."

207 posted on 09/21/2012 8:07:44 PM PDT by thecodont
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To: yarddog

Shoot we were all Lutheran which is about as bland as you can get but my dad’s side were full-blooded Danes and went to the Norwegian Lutheran Church in town (as close as they could get to Denmark, I guess) while my mom’s folks went to the German Lutheran Church out in the country.

My Danish paternal great-grandfather brought my grandpa and the rest of his family over but he was a constable and was killed on duty in the tiny little North Dakota town of Westhope.

My mom’s folks were immigrants before WWI and shed nearly all traces of their German heritage as the war approached, as you can well imagine.

We had Catholics in our little town but not many-—I mean you could count them on your hands and feet-—and they became doubly dubious after 1960 when the whole town (the Lutheran Republicans counted the ballots, after all) knew they had voted en masse for Kennedy.

Thanks for your posts tonight.


208 posted on 09/21/2012 8:15:22 PM PDT by Fightin Whitey
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To: davetex

“It’s hotter in the country than it is in the summertime.”

That so much reminds me of my late great grand father.

“Do you live around here or do you ride a bicycle?”


209 posted on 09/21/2012 8:18:26 PM PDT by Holly_P
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To: All

Lower’n a snake in a wagon rut.

Hunker down like a jackass in a hailstorm.

Tighter’n a crab’s ass...and that’s water tight.

Quicker’n you can spit and holler howdy.

I’ll be no farther away than two hoots and half a holler.


210 posted on 09/21/2012 8:23:20 PM PDT by Nea Wood (When life gets too hard to stand, kneel.)
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To: Pharmboy
A parent from Georgia: "'Here's $200, here's a list of the homeless shelters in Los Angeles, you're a man now and don't come back,'"

Imprisoned teen sent to LA on bus by Georgia parents

211 posted on 09/21/2012 8:35:14 PM PDT by Daffynition (Our forefathers would be shooting by now.)
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To: Holly_P

hehe, That’s classic. I’m gonna use that one.


212 posted on 09/21/2012 8:58:20 PM PDT by davetex (Sick of moochers)
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To: Pharmboy

A couple people mention the “so poor you don’t have a pot to pee in” saying, and it has a kind of interesting story.

It comes from Old England, and the poorest people in town had to live near the leather works, which always stank, partly because they used urine to treat the leather and remove the hair, by soaking skins in pits filled with urine for days and days. The leather company would buy peoples urine, and they would send a man around once a week to collect it. If you were poor, you could sell your pee, but you needed to buy a pot big enough to store all that you’d produced all week... especially if you were a household.

So basically, being so poor you didn’t have a pot to pee in, meant that you lived in the nastiest part of town and were reduced selling your urine to survive, but you didn’t even have anything to store it in, in order to sell it in the first place.


213 posted on 09/21/2012 9:10:52 PM PDT by Tuanedge
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To: RikaStrom
My Grandmother would always say .....

My brother in law's mom, who is 90 something, will comment when she sees an ugly and/or old man with a younger, pretty girl friend :"Well, he's either got money or a wart !"

214 posted on 09/21/2012 9:53:06 PM PDT by llevrok (By comparison to Obama, at least Nero could play a fiddle.)
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To: Pharmboy

...busier than a one-legged man in a b*tt-kickin’ contest...

...darker than the inside of a cow...


215 posted on 09/21/2012 10:00:55 PM PDT by castlebrew (Gun Control means hitting where you're aiming!))
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To: Fightin Whitey
My Danish paternal great-grandfather ....

My Danish grand father(central Wyoming c.1928) was excused from the dinner table by my grandmom when he described a local business man as "tighter than a fart in a pair of leather pants"

216 posted on 09/21/2012 10:01:55 PM PDT by llevrok (By comparison to Obama, at least Nero could play a fiddle.)
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To: linn37

...couldn’t find his ass with both hands...
......and a map...
......and a head-start...


217 posted on 09/21/2012 10:02:19 PM PDT by castlebrew (Gun Control means hitting where you're aiming!))
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To: Pharmboy

Two shakes of a lambs tail - meaning getting something done real fast.

I’ll knock you clear from here to tomorrow - threat from my mom.


218 posted on 09/21/2012 10:09:39 PM PDT by GrannyAnn
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To: Palio di Siena
Dumb as a oyster.

Happy as a clam.

"ugly with a prior" [conviction for the same]

grandma was slow, but she was old. (updated to) grandma was slow, but she was dead

used for anything;
dumb as
smarter than
uglier than
slicker than
weaker than
stronger than...[do I have to say it?]
shit

All dressed up and no place to go
refugee from a bugs bunny cartoon (from the psychedelic 70's)

219 posted on 09/21/2012 10:52:28 PM PDT by BlueDragon (going to change my name to "Nobody" then run for elective office)
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To: Pharmboy

From a friend of mine in Arkansas “ Oh, that’s subtle alright. As subtle a sh!t on a wedding dress’’.


220 posted on 09/21/2012 10:53:28 PM PDT by jmacusa (Political correctness is cultural Marxism. I'm not a Marxist.)
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