Can't Stop Crying

Me | August 19, 2012 | bicyclerepair

[bicyclerepair]

Hi FRiends, Boy do I need someone to talk to.

Just came back from dropping off my daughter at college and the empty house is making me cry so much.

Been a member since 2004. This is my first post. So sorry but I can't stop feeling sad and hurting inside because I miss her so much.

I respect you all so much and value your comments. Some are harsh, but most are honest and decent. So maybe I can drown my heart-ache reading your thoughts.

Sincerely, bicyclerepair--Ft. Lauderdale

[bicyclerepair]

Longfellow: That song made me try and do as much as I could with her while she was growing up. I really tried to be the best Dad I could. I’m not perfect, I was a jerk a few times. But that’s life.

She didn’t have a smart phone until recently. Thank GOD. We used to have chats before she fell asleep. The past yr. or so, she got addicted to Netflix and the iphone. But I kept trying. I only have a couple tiny regrets of jerkitude. But for the vast majority of Dad-hood I tried my best, knowing this day would come. I should take solace in the fact that she’s a responsible kid who studies hard and got honors in HS. She graduated with a 4.3 (don’t ask how that’s possible)

We got skype to work before heading up there. She is WELL prepared. My Dad helped.

Thanks a lot you guys. I’ll be reading your comments over and over. You folks are the best in America.

[1010RD]

You got it. She’ll do great, but don’t keep your mouth shut about Obamacare. She needs to know along with her peers. Doctors are a liberal bunch and they need to know that he and liberal policies in general are destroying healthcare for Americans and their careers as doctors and surgeons.

Here’s some great resources for her:

Podcast on American healthcare: http://www.econtalk.org/archives/2012/07/scott_atlas_on.html

The book:
http://www.hooverpress.org/productdetails.cfm?PC=1567

Keep her well-armed and she’ll be prepared for whatever it takes. You’re a good dad and have a good night.

[onona]

It’s tough, no doubt about it, but take a look at it from another perspective. Your daughter is experiencing the same feelings. You are going to have to be strong for her, because I have no doubt you’ll be getting “those” phone calls. Prepare your self to continue to be her rock.

Also, parent’s weekend isn’t too far away :)

[El Cid]

Sounds like you raised her well, and both you and she are in the Lord.... So you are never alone, and you will always be together. I can think of no greater blessing for a parent.
Life brings changes, but whatever temporal distresses may arise we know that The Lord has said He will never leave us nor forsake us. So be anxious for nothing...

Philippians 4:6-8
Be anxious for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

[onyx]

Skype is GREAT!

God bless and keep you, Lancey Howard!

[Lancey Howard]

As long as you don't get stripped of your gold for doping.

: D

[mountn man]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmAi_qJoPbU

[GladesGuru]

For what it is worth, a friend and colleague is sending both daughters off to college. He is driving one to Utah during the next week and he certainly is feeling it as are you.

I would suggest your child will cope quite well with the socialism impaired Academented due to your beliefs and values which you have imparted to her.

PS Life’s problems are reputed to be soluble in the Universal Solvent - gunpowder aroma. Hie thee to the range and may all your shots be in or near the Ten Ring. ;-)

[dr_lew]

The “Empty Nest” hits some harder than others.

When we took my daughter off to college, back in the nineties, I didn't feel particularly emotional about it ... until we got to the campus. Walking around there, I was overcome by a wave of nostalgia. This was college! And college meant me! Where did I fit into this picture? I didn't! It was emotionally very confusing.

This may seem to be a very selfish perspective, and I can't deny it, but it's all about the same thing ... change. "Turn and face the strange changes ..." in the words of the poet.

[Sporke]

Nothin at all wrong with crying at a time like this, in fact, it’s nice to hear about.

Be thankful your family is close enough for the separation to bother you, and her.

It sounds like you’ve done a good job raising her. Be proud of her, be proud of you.

God bless you all. :)

[Sapwolf]

Why don’t you go to the range?

That ALWAYS makes me feel good. Especially if I shoot well.

Nothing like putting up the hostage target, calling out to “Let her go.”, then puttin one between his eyes.

[rbbeachkid]

Your life has revolved around her. Now you have to fill your life with what you need to offer besides her.

Historically, women made much bigger contributions to society after their children left the nest.

Its time for you.

[bicyclerepair]

Gladeguru: My Dad and I have recently taken up trap shooting at Markham park. He is a big help in this.

Funny, my wife and my 2nd date, we went shooting. A hot shell bounced off the divider wall and down her v-neck top. It’s funny now. So when I took my daughter shooting, I told her to wear a t-shirt. Wouldn’t you know it, a hot shell went down her t-shirt! Now she hates semi-autos. So I need to get a revolver when I can save up $ome.

I’m truly blessed. You all seem like my online family.

[floralamiss]

Bless your heart. You do have FRiends here, and I’m glad you felt you could cry on our shoulders. We have pretty broad ones, stretching around the world, as they do. And you’ll always find somebody up and ready to listen. But you know all that.

I’m going to bookmark your thread, and will be praying for you and your daughter tonight. Bicyclerepair, even though your house seems empty, it really isn’t. You must know that your daughter is thinking of you, just as you are thinking of her. Your home is filled with the spirit of love between the two of you, and the great goodwill and prayer of your fellow FReepers.

I hope that didn’t sound too corny, because I believe every word. God bless.

[savagesusie]

I must admit-—I felt much easier leaving a son, than a daughter! But—with all the new technology today—communication is really easy and girls are GREAT with the phones and emails, etc. AND—you probably gave her enough attention and time, that she won’t do anything dumb trying to seek approval from idiots.

Take your free time and take classes or read everything you had to put off because of lack of time. Plan to accomplish things which you couldn’t before when she was around.

Do things which make you grow and become wiser—then share your wisdom with her when she comes for visits. Learning never ends and it really is fun and time goes so swiftly-—before you know it she will be home again!!!!

[Salamander]

She needs a puppy!

:)

[fwdude]

Sorry, but what’s UCF? I hope we’re not talking California.

[GizmosAndGadgets]

Anything you can do to keep in touch will probably help with some of the feeling of letting go. Skype is great, if you both can coordinate some time for a direct conversation. I finally gave-in and started a Facebook account once our daughter left for school - I don't do much with FB myself, but she does, so that's how I keep up with the things going on in her life, and we use the chat feature, too. I also I follow her on Twitter ;-) If you have these options, I can't recommend them enough for staying connected.

As a side note, see if you can find a way to use online banking to transfer money directly from your bank account to hers ;-) It really helps when she says she wants to come home for the weekend but needs money for gas :-)

[imardmd1]

I was in California on business on July 27, 1985 when they found me, handed the phone to me, and an old friend notified me that my son died on Route 95 near Norwalk, CT in an auto accident at 3 AM. I put His body in his grave, next to mine, on his 27th birthday.

It's August 19, 2012, 27 years later, and I dreamed of him yet once more, night before last.

Go play "Toy Story 3", weep a little, but rejoice for your blessedness in getting to hear your child's voice whenever. Thank God for lending her to you for a while.

Feel for someone else whose son or daughter is coming home from Afghanistan under our Flag.

"Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Mt. 11:28)

[867V309]

Feeling the loss of something so important in your life is very painful. Reaching out is a good thing, hearing other's experiences can help.

Talking to my subconscious has helped me in similar circumstances. I "pretend" it is a caring friend, tell it my feelings, and ask for what I want (relief from suffering).

Hope this helps. In the meantime, prayers-up!