Posted on 08/02/2012 11:33:54 AM PDT by Sir Napsalot
(snip) ... Similar dating advice can be found in arcane classics like Advice to a Young Wife from an Old Mistress and the more recent Secrets About Men from the Mayflower Madam (who trained her “girls” in deportment and other finishing-school finer points).
Advice like: Don’t act like a slut (in public). Listen. Be gracious and grateful.
And don’t talk too much.
The Jezebels are outraged.
“These writers want us to go back to the ’50s!” they type furiously.
.....
In the July 4 Daily Mail, Sarah Bridge asks, “Are women like me too critical to attract a man?”
Here’s an excerpt:
Single at the age of 39, I’ve often wondered why none of my relationships lasted the distance, but had always put it down to luck and timing ....“Your problem is that you’re really snippy,” he said.
“Snippy?” I asked, not entirely sure what he meant.
“Yes, snippy,” he said. “Abrupt. Critical. If someone says or does something wrong, then you’re onto it straight away. Men will ignore a lot of things if they fancy someone — a weird dress sense, or taking hours getting ready to go out — but they hate being put down or made to feel small. You can be funny, but sometimes it’s way too close for comfort.”
Now, should you read the original piece online, which includes two photos of the writer, you may have other ideas about why Bridge remains unattached.
(Excerpt) Read more at pjmedia.com ...
The fact that his daughter is completely messed up shows that you don't know the facts of the matter. I'm glad the mother is now going to church to seek spiritual guidance. It would be nice if her husband had shown some leadership in that area years ago. They might have avoided some of their troubles. His affair also indicates that he hasn't been much of a leader.
You can’t get a “yes” or “no” answer out of a woman.
Perhaps true with the women you're involved with. But you paint with a broad brush. I'm pretty sure there's a few women out there who are different than yours. Maggie Thatcher wouldn't have gotten far if she had been the kind that you apparently know.
She is a nice person and has a nice circle of friends.
... a nice circle of friends who take potshots at her husband regarding matters between the two of them, if your past several replies are any indication.
Does she not attempt to stop you? She really should.
I think generally that this is not the problem women have. By the tone of most of the comments on this thread it's pretty clear that most women probably already do a lot of this.
But, yes, leading questions (on the part of husbands) would show a personal interest and likely would end up deepening relationships.
Maybe some men are afraid to do this because they think their wives would talk even more! Or maybe they're just not aware as you perhaps were not until your wife pointed it out. But I have a theory that the root cause of a lot of female chatter is that women don't feel close to their husbands emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and they're desperate to fill the gap. So more "leading questions" as you put it from their mate might be one of the keys to closing that gap and lessening the volume of empty words. All IMHO.
I’m sending these both to my teenage daughter.
Maybe it will help...
Your comments on this thread seem to say over and over, men should be more like women, and not a glimmer of the other perspective.
I read somewhere that one of the things that women subconsciously rate men on is how much the talk. Women love chatterbox men.
***
You read wrong. We do not love chatterbox men. The average single women want a man who talks enough to say great things about the woman and about how much she means to him.
Married women have other priorities don’t need so much chatter, as long as basic communication is going on.
Of course, Mr. Bigg Red is darn-near perfect, so perhaps I should not compare my situation to that of all of those unfortunate other women.
Asking shows I care. Sure I do care - but asking shows it verbally.
I am more into non-verbal communication, but that doesn't suffice.
Do you think a woman asking leading questions might solicit more conversation from an otherwise silent husband?
But it's funny you didn't think it was a potshot when I acknowledged she was a chatterbox. And yet you felt free to falsely call her a harridan...are you free from taking potshots?
I've just been trying to think through their problems, my friend, to see if I can help find some redemption for their daughter.
The one I heard was that his diary entry said “A five putt on the 15th hole. How in the hell can someone five putt!”
No, this is not my belief. I don't think I have either said or implied this.
OMW! That is meant to be humorous, I know, but it is not really that far from reality.
Women, I believe, just have a built-in need to worry and fuss and work on the relationship. We can’t help it. I consider myself a very rational woman, but I have done that all of my adult life. Even now, in my senior years, I have not shaken the habits completely.
I’m not in the presence of either party to do so.
You are.
In some circumstances it may very well do so.
Leading questions show personal interest...usually a good thing.
Perhaps I’ve read more into your words than you meant. And as a male, I likely have a different perspective.
I grew up with only a brother and rarely was around girls often until dating and college.
Now married with 3 girls, all my activities revolve around girls.
I am often still amazed at how different the perspective and and priorities seem to be.
I am a woman, and I remember the times you reference. While I cannot disagree with anything you say, I think you need to add to the discussion a fact that is seldom brought up.
Many full-time homemakers bought into a view that their husbands had, i.e., that the work the women did was not that important. There was no paycheck involved, so the work was really not so special and anyone could do it. Sadly, that attitude continues.
Taking care of your own children is a very emotionally trying undertaking. It can be draining. That’s why so many women would rather pay some stranger to do it for them.
Then you should not pretend that you know their situation.
My wife talks a lot. A lot.
I don’t mind it. She’s the nicest person I’ve ever met and I enjoy listening to her talk about things that I don’t even care about.
With all that said, you might consider reading back through your comments on this thread and how often you expressed how the man should act differently, and not the woman.
It is the basis of my first comment.
Cheers!
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