Posted on 04/02/2012 12:33:56 PM PDT by trailhkr1
Cops: Accused Prostitute Offered Undercover Officer Sex For Cheeseburgers Off McDonald's Dollar Menu
The woman, the detective reported, replied that the pair “could go have sexual intercourse if I bought her two double cheese burgers off the dollar menu at McDonald’s.” The cop added, “I agreed to the deal and purchased the hamburgers for $2.75.”
(Excerpt) Read more at thesmokinggun.com ...
That was a reasonable conclusion from my post, but actually, the hostess fed the group. I, being diligently dieting, had a cup of coffee; fortunately there wasn't anything I wanted really badly!
Read the lyrics while you listen...
The Fish Song (I Lobster and Never Flounder) -Pinkard and Bowden
I was the cook, ——she was the waitress
Down at Salty Sams seafood cafe
Somewhere between the clam juice and the seaweed salad
some little shrimp... lured her away
Oh, I Lobster, n’ never Flounder
He wrapped his line around her
and they drove off in his Carp
Oh, I Lobster n’ never Flounder
I Octopus his face in, Eel only break her heart.
I said “just Squid and leave me for that piano Tuna
If you want to Trout something new”
She was the Bass I ever had and my life has no Porpoise
Oh my Cod, I love her, yes I do
Oh, I Lobster, n’ never Flounder
He wrapped his line around her
and they drove off in his Carp
Oh, I Lobster n’ never Flounder
I Octopus his face in, Eel only break her heart.
#1 I swordfish she’d come back to me!
#2 Aw, if she did, she’d just throw ya the same ole’ line: “Not
#1 But I’ve kelpt her picture in my walleye all these years, just for the Halibut, I wonder if she’s kept mine in her perch.
#2 Well, we’d better quit sea-horsin’ around here-these people look like they’re goin’ into a state of shark!
Oh, I Lobster, n’ never Flounder
He wrapped his line around her
and they drove off in his Carp
Oh, I Lobster n’ never Flounder
I Octopus his face in, Eel only break her heart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1CEvt2lyuc
Some of their best work (read: before they went completely obscene) is still only available only on the original vinyl.
I didn’t need to see that face.
I'd have to pull out the vinyl to get the exact lyrics, so I'm doing this from memory. Here's how I sing and play "Mail Order Dog," by Pinkard and Bowden.
I'm looking through the catalog
Checking out the pet parts
Saving up my money for a mail order dog.
I might get me a beagle from Spiegel
Or maybe a St. Bernard from Montgomery Ward.
I haven't had much luck with regular dogs
So that's why I'm looking through the catalogs.
They cost more money, but they're worth the price
'Cause mail order dogs are nice.
So I'm looking through the catalog
Checking out the pet parts
Saving up my money for a mail order dog.
I might buy a weenie from J.C. Penney
Or maybe a Pekinese from L.L. Bean.
Get down. [Short instrumental riff]
Get back up again
At about this point, they break into "Delta Dawg," which is their version of "Delta Dawn." This all follows "Don't Pet the Dog," which delightfully rhymes "he gets it confused with romance" and "he'll be asking your ankle to dance."
PINKARD & BOWDEN - Doogie Doo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEEV2jKUhrY&feature=related
I could find that one.
They have a thing about dogs. I quit buying their music when they veered into the very obscene - during the “Please Censor Us” and “Live in Front of a Bunch of #@^&” era.
I never heard of any of this, and I’m not feeling that’s much of a loss right now.
Oh, wow! Mr. Sg asked what was I reading (uncontrollable snorkling and chortling) and I gasped out, “The UT.” This is most certainly the most wonderful hangout in the universe!
G’night and sweet dreams, y’all!
Hi everyone!
I hope you are all doing well and enjoying (as it may apply to you), your baby, electricity, recovery, dog, Service, snow melting, gardening, building, and other things better left not shared. ;-D
I’ve been having a busy couple of weeks, but wanted to drop by and say Hi!
Good night, good morning, happy holidays, and all that stuff.
Howdy!
The early works - early to mid-1980s - was quite witty.
Imagine a very, very tall and big, bearded Texan with a bass voice, and a tiny Cajun. Both were accomplished serious songwriters in their own right - Sandy Pinkard had written more than one #1 country song.
To blow off steam, they got together and wrote and performed song parodies (eventually, like small boys, they got vulgar. Over the period of six or seven years of live shows, they got obscene.
In their prime, they invoked a groan, a smile, and a guilty laugh.
Imagine the raw chords of Clapton's version of "Cocaine," and suddenly you hear RIchard Bowden start to sing:
"When you're down on the farm,Or when they show you, to your amazement, that you can sing the lyrics to Green Acres to Hendrix's Purple Haze.
And you want to keep warm
Propane."
Or the band start playing a familiar tune ("Help Me Make It Through The NIght") and Richard sings, sweetly:
"Take the rosebush from my head.
Shake loose all the little thorns.
What's the sprinkler doing on
So dang early in the morn?
Crawling home at 5 a.m.
Lord this sidewalk sure is hard.
Guess I drank too much again.
Help me make it through the yard.
Kind of makes you verklempt, doesn't it?
You can dress me up; you just can't take me out.
LOL
LOL
What’s up, Stephen?
Do you own Baja yet?
Let me know when you want me to build the “Flying Castle” hotel.
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