I didn’t need to see that face.
I'd have to pull out the vinyl to get the exact lyrics, so I'm doing this from memory. Here's how I sing and play "Mail Order Dog," by Pinkard and Bowden.
I'm looking through the catalog
Checking out the pet parts
Saving up my money for a mail order dog.
I might get me a beagle from Spiegel
Or maybe a St. Bernard from Montgomery Ward.
I haven't had much luck with regular dogs
So that's why I'm looking through the catalogs.
They cost more money, but they're worth the price
'Cause mail order dogs are nice.
So I'm looking through the catalog
Checking out the pet parts
Saving up my money for a mail order dog.
I might buy a weenie from J.C. Penney
Or maybe a Pekinese from L.L. Bean.
Get down. [Short instrumental riff]
Get back up again
At about this point, they break into "Delta Dawg," which is their version of "Delta Dawn." This all follows "Don't Pet the Dog," which delightfully rhymes "he gets it confused with romance" and "he'll be asking your ankle to dance."