Today is best celebrated in the evening with a bag of chips 
and your favorite dip. 
Posted on 03/23/2012 5:40:24 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
When : Always March 23rd
National Chip and Dip Day celebrates America's favorite snack duet. If you re holding a party, it is almost certain that chips and dips are on the snack list. The only possible exclusion would be for an Ice Cream party.
Today is best celebrated in the evening with a bag of chips
and your favorite dip.
I like the underwear! hahahaha
The silliness thread is here! The silliness thread is here!
So I guess today’s thread will be full of chip.
Home today, the Navy’s conducting a security drill and non-essential personnel are to stay home. Sorry thing is they are making me take leave when they are telling me to stay home.
So I’m working in my veggie garden, on my VW, and getting ready for our spring camping trip.
Hi Lucky, thanks fro this silliness thread.
Here’s some I’ve saved up.
THIS IS A HAPPYGRAM FROM ME TO YOU
You know the honeymoon is over,when the comedians start.
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree...and think 25 to life would be
appropriate.
—Jay Leno
America needs Obama-care like Nancy
Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
—Jay Leno
Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s’
new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you
has to pay for it.
—Conan O’Brien
Q: What does Barack Obama call
lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
—Jay Leno
Q: What’s the difference between
Obama’s cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers,
and threats to society. The other is for housing
prisoners.
—David Letterman
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were
on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it
started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America !
—Jimmy Fallon
Q: What’s the difference between
Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
—Jimmy Kimmel
Q: What was the most positive result
of the “Cash for Clunkers” program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper
stickers off the road.
—David Letterman
Solution to the problem in Libya : They want a new Muslim leader, Give them ours.
A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the
Sidewalk in front of her home.
Next to her was a basket containing a number of
Tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing
FREE
KITTENS.
Suddenly a line of big black
Cars pulled up beside her.
Out of the lead car stepped a
Tall, grinning man.
“Hi there little girl, I’m
President Obama.
What do you have in the basket?” he asked.
“Kittens,” little Suzy said.
“How old are they?” asked Obama.
Suzy replied, “They’re so young,
Their eyes aren’t even open yet.”
“And what kind of kittens are they?”
“Democrats,” answered Suzy with a smile.
Obama was delighted.
As soon as he returned to his car,
He called his PR chief and
Told him about the little girl and the kittens.
Recognizing the perfect photo op,
The two men agreed that the president should return the next day;
And in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.
So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the sidewalk with her basket of
“FREE KITTENS,”
When another motorcade pulled up,
This time followed by vans from
ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN.
Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up,
Then Obama got out of his limo
And walked over to little Suzy.
“Hello, again,” he said,
I’d love it if you would tell all my friends out
There what kind of kittens you’re giving away.”
“Yes sir,” Suzy said. “They’re Republicans.”
Taken by surprise, the president stammered,
“But...but...yesterday,
You told me they were DEMOCRATS.”
Little Suzy smiled and said, “I know.
But today, they have their eyes open.”
Barak and Michelle are at the World Series Game 6. They are sitting in the
> first row, with the Secret Service people directly behind them. One of the
> Secret Service guys leans forward and whispers something to Barak. At first,
> Obama stares at the guy, looks at Michelle, looks back at the agent, and
> shakes his head “no”.
>
> The agent then says, “Mr. President, it was a unanimous request of the
> entire team, from the owner of the team to the bat boy.”
>
> Obama hesitates ... but begins to change his mind when the agent tells him
> the fans would love it!
>
> Obama shrugs his shoulders and says, “Ho-Kay! If that is what the people
> want. C’mere Michelle baby...” With that, Obama gets up, grabs Michelle by
> her collar and the seat of her pants, lifts her up, and tosses her right
> over the wall onto the field. She gets up kicking, swearing, screaming,
> “Barak, you “!^$#@&!”
>
> The crowd goes absolutely wild.. Fans are jumping up and down, cheering,
> hooting and hollering, and high-fiving. Obama is bowing, smiling, and waving
> to the crowd. He leans over to the agent and says, “How about that. I would
> have never believed how much everyone would enjoy that.”
>
> Noticing the agent has gone totally pale in the face, Obama asks what is
> wrong.
>
>
> The agent replies, “Sir, I said they want you to throw out the first pitch
And in 2012 Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn’t you say ?
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
I just couldn’t help but send this along. Too funny...
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No crap, really? Ya think?
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren’t they fat enough?!
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That’s what he gets for eating those beans!
———————— -————————————————
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
******************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
***************************************************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
*******************************************
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
***************************************************
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.
He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.
An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.
Curious I pinned a note to his collar: ‘I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.’
The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: ‘He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?
America needs Obama-care like Nancy
Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
—Jay Leno
Ouch!
bazinga
A bakery owner hires a young female shop assistant, who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties.
One day a young man enters the store, glances at the shop assistant and the loaves of bread on the top shelf behind the counter. Noticing her short skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. “I’d like some raisin bread please,” the man says.
The shop assistant nods and climbs up a ladder.
To reach the raisin bread located on the very top shelf. The man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he thought. When she descends, he decides he’d better get two loaves, as he’s having company.
As the shop assistant retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notice what’s going on and requests his own loaf of raisin bread too.
After many trips she is tired and irritated & begins to wonder, “why the unusual interest in the raisin bread?” Atop the ladder one more time, she looks down and glares at the men standing below.
Then, she notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd. Thinking that she can save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, “Is it raisin for you, too?”
“No,” stammers the old man, “but it’s twitching a little.”
Ha! Hussein doesn't have the muscles to push her away from the sink when they are brushing teeth in the morning.
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