|
Posted on 08/01/2011 2:29:55 AM PDT by JustAmy
|
LOL Good ones.
Thank you I sure appreciate them. A lot going on here.
Lamh Foistenach Abu!
Love the graphic and the quotes, Amy and Billie.
A four year old was at the paediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, “Do you think I’ll find Big Bird in here?”
The little girl stayed silent.
Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, “Do you think I’ll find the Cookie Monster down there?”
Again, the little girl was silent.
Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her heart beat, he asked, “Do you think I’ll hear Barney in there?”
“Oh, no!” the little girl replied. “Jesus is in my heart. Barney’s on my underpants.”
Interesting Prescription
The man told his doctor he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what’s wrong with me.”
“Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “You’re just a plain old lazy bum.”
“Thank You.” said the man. “Now give me the medical term, so I can tell my wife!”
Two Doctors
Over a round of golf, two doctors were talking shop.
“I operated on Mr. Lee the other day,” said the surgeon.
“What for?” asked his colleague.
“About $17,000.”
“What did he have?”
“Oh... About $17,000.”
Top 10 Signs You Smoke Too Much
10. In the middle of smoking a cigarette, you pause for a “cigarette break.”
9. Your birthday is a state holiday in North Carolina.
8. Your title for the Surgeon General: “Captain Bringdown.”
7. Cracking your knuckles leaves you winded.
6. Morning schedule: Wake up, cough for three hours, take nap.
5. In your neighborhood, they give directions by saying. “Go down to the big pile of cigarette butts...”.
4. You get mattress fires more often than haircuts.
3. You smoke during sex.
2. You refer to nonsmokers as “pink-lunged sissy boys.”
1. You explain to the nurse that you didn’t realize you were in a “nonsmoking” iron lung.
Dentist...
A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.
Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Doctor, it wasn’t all that bad this time.
Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the four o’clock ball game.
I'll do that! ;)
I see there is a hurricane forming in the gulf. No idea just where it will do it's dirty work, but I hope you get at least some of the wet stuff if it developes. But, NO DAMAGE! Just nice constant rain for about a week! :)
Wouldn’t it be loverly!
LOL...love those quotes!
Thanks.
Cool and refreshing sound like a winner.
We're in the 90s as far as the eye can see with some rain mixed in next week! UGH!
And, you're welcome! :)
Wednesday being good to you so far?
ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
The word "Praise" is used 248 times
in the King James Version of the Bible.
Praise is SO important!
Keep us updated, k?
Can you share just a little bit with us? ((((HUGS))))
You (and your humor) were truly missed!
This one is definitely a keeper. Too cute!
Love your “Dog Days of Summer”, ladies! Thank you!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
