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Posted on 08/01/2011 2:29:55 AM PDT by JustAmy
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CHILDREN’S SERMON:
One Easter Sunday morning during the children’s sermon, the minister
reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the
egg and asked “What’s in here?”. One little boy exclaimed “I know,
PANTYHOSE”!
SUPPORT A FAMILY:
The future father-in-law asked, “Young man, can you support a family?”
The surprised groom-to be replied, “Well, no. I was just planning to
support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves.”
GRANDMA’S AGE:
Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was. Grandma answered, “39
AND HOLDING.” Johnny thought for a moment and then said, “And how old would
you be if you let go?”
FIRST TIME USHERS:
A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed
around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said
loudly, “DON’T PAY FOR ME, DADDY. I’M UNDER FIVE.”
PRAYERS:
The Sunday School teacher asked, “Now Johnny, tell me, do you say prayers
before eating?” “NO SIR!,” he replied. “We don’t have to ‘cause my mom
is a good cook!”
CLIMB THE WALLS:
“OH, I SURE AM HAPPY TO SEE YOU,” the little boy said to his grandmother
on his mother’s side. “Now maybe daddy will do the trick he promised us.”
The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that?” she asked.
“I heard him tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit
us again”.
PALM SUNDAY:
It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny
stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home,
they were carrying palm branches. Johnny asked what they were for.
“People held them over Jesus’ head as He walked by.”
“Wouldn’t you know it,” he fumed. “The one Sunday I don’t go to church,
He shows up!”
THE MOOD RING:
My husband bought me a mood ring the other day. When I’m in a good mood it
turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead.
THE WATER PISTOL:
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother,
he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the
nearest sink. I was not so pleased.
I turned to mom and said, “I’m surprised at you! Don’t you remember how
we used to drive you crazy with water guns?”
Mom smiled and then replied.....”I REMEMBER.”
LIFE AFTER DEATH:
“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees.
“YES, SIR,” the new employee replied.
“Well, then, that makes everything just fine,” The boss went on.
“After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she
stopped in to see you!”
PRAYER:
Dear God, help me to be a student of life. May I be constantly learning.
May I remember that You are my supreme instructor. May I look at every
experience as an opportunity for growth. May I learn from what is happened
to me and use the knowledge in positive ways. Dear God, I pray that I am growing
and learning every day. May the person that I was yesterday grow wiser and stronger.
I ask You to be my instructor, and I promise to be a willing and eager student.
In Jesus Christ name
Amen
I go to ER quite often. But I am getting better.
Season Ticket Swap
Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
“Listen to this,” she said. “There’s a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium.”
“Hmmm,” her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, “Would you swap me for a season ticket?”
“Absolutely not,” he said.
“How sweet,” Sarah said. “Tell me why not.”
“Season’s more than half over,” he said.
Praise the Lord! Wonderful news, Dubya!
A friend sent me photographs of 20 beautiful churches in the world. Located as far apart as Iceland and India, each of them is architecturally unique.
The most beautiful place of worship in Jeremiah’s day was the temple in Jerusalem, which King Josiah had recently repaired and restored (2 Chron. 34–35). The people were fixated on the magnificent building (Jer. 7:4), and they foolishly thought that having the temple there meant that God would protect them from their enemies.
Instead, Jeremiah pointed out the sin in their lives (vv.3,9-10). God is not impressed by beautiful buildings constructed in His name if there is no inward beauty in the hearts of those who go there. He is not interested in an outward legalistic worship that is not matched by inward holiness. And it is wrong to think that God protects people just because of the religious things they do.
Just because we’re reading the Bible, praying, and fellowshiping with other believers doesn’t mean that God is somehow then obligated to do something for us. He cannot be manipulated. The purpose of those external activities is to develop our relationship with the Lord and to help us live differently than those in the world around us.
Read: Jeremiah 7:1-11
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Good Blessed Sunday to you, Meg! Your graphic, frame and scripture are wonderful! Thank you! Is the church here in the U.S.?
Purple Mountain Majesty
Thank you for your lovely opening, today, Meg! It looks like NYC. What a beautiful church that is.
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Such beauty in your graphic, Yorkie! And thank you for the psalm, as well!
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I thought so, but wasn't sure!! RIGHT!!
Wish I could smell the lovely flowers!
Thank you!
So pretty, Pam - and a perfect scripture for today!
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Just beautiful , Pam..Thank you for the lovely daylilies and scripture.
Well I started off the day not being able to access my documents and see I have posted pam’s graphic to yorkie...
At leasst I answered the question you both had.. Oh my....LOL
I have had my niece here visiting...the computer and I both seem a bit rusty. We stay up late and talk, talk, talk.
You’d think we would run out of conversation!
Thank you, Yorkie!
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