Permissive parents: Curb your brats

CNN ^ | July 5, 2011 | LZ Granderson

[Immerito]

Grand Rapids, Michigan (CNN) -- If you're the kind of parent who allows your 5-year-old to run rampant in public places like restaurants, I have what could be some rather disturbing news for you.

I do not love your child.

The rest of the country does not love your child either.

And the reason why we're staring at you every other bite is not because we're acknowledging some sort of mutual understanding that kids will be kids but rather we want to kill you for letting your brat ruin our dinner.

Or our plane ride.

Or trip to the grocery store.

[firebrand]

Sometimes what parents don’t understand is “You only have to do it once” when it comes to removing the child from a restaurant for bad behavior.

The problem is the parents don’t want to interrupt their badly needed time with other grown-ups, so they try to convince the child to stop. You have to walk out with the child. It’s only once. Make that little sacrifice while your food gets cold and you won’t be sorry.

[MsLady]

I don't know about over diagnosed of misdiagnosed. If you've never had a child like this or delete with one, you can't imagine just how hard it can be to make these types of kids understand. The excuses often are not excuses. If the kid doesn't understand what you are trying to teach them, if they are off in their own little world. To reach that place takes years. It can be exhausting and emotionally draining. I use to wake up in tears and go to bed in tears.

My daughter was diagnosed 29 years ago. At first they didn't have a clue as to what was wrong with her, nor could they tell me how to discipline her, she didn't understand much of anything. She responded to things inappropriately, her communication was more parroting than much of anything else. Her understanding and comprehension was near zero. Try reaching someone like that. Along with being super hyper. She couldn't sit still at all. Seems everything overstimulated her. She would calm herself by chewing on something usually something rubbery. I kept a supply of teething rings or she would chew on her fingers. I had to watch her like a hawk. She would be into everything at once. And everything went into her mouth. She was more or less like that until about age 9, then things began to get better. Slowly over the years she's gotten better. I still can't leave her alone. She still lives at home, needs constant supervision. Her behavior is like night and day but, she still has her moments.

[zipper]

I don’t think a responsible senior citizen would find a child who is not being taught to be responsible a comfortable thought.

Wise conservative parents discipline a child in accordance with their knowledge of what discipline measures are most effective with that child and in accordance with the situation.

What in the hell are you talking about? Certainly nothing I posted. Read my posts again, and this time pay attention.

[chris_bdba]

I’ve never animals in resturants unless they were service animals? Was not aware that that happened anywhere?

[zipper]

Look at it this way — you made it to retirement. Good for you. At least you got something back from all those years of contributions, which is more than many of us yet to retire have coming to us.

And yes, the SS money you get now is not your money — that was spent the year you had it taken out of your check. The money you get now is someone else’s money taken from them in the same ponzi scheme.

And losing your son has nothing to do with it.

[chris_bdba]

ROFLOL! My Mom did somethign similar with my younger sister ona day when she was havign a very bad bad behavior wise.We still have what was an old children’s home nearby and back then was still one.Mom also had called the Sears repairman to come fix the washer.Well she told my sister if she did not shape up she was calling the Children’s home to come and get her.About 20 minutes later the Sears’s van pulled in and since my sister could not read yet....LOL

[Polynikes]

There is a Canadian comic who goes by the name Russell Peters who is Indian by birth and does a hilarious comedy routine around that circumstance. Basically he learns from his schoolmates that he can bully his parents by threatening to call CS ( Child Services) on them if they try to discipline him

His dad asks him to help wash the dishes and he is told to basically FO. I'll call CPS on you if you touch me.

His dad says ok tough guy your in for it now, call them, and hands him the phone.

But dad you'll go to jail if you beat me.

Maybe, maybe not but it will take them at least 20-30 minutes to get here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4oO7ZdfSFI

[Polynikes]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4oO7ZdfSFI

[Popman]

Thanks, that was very funny...on on the mark

[Borax Queen]

I was in a department store once, in the women’s clothing section. Even though the store was pretty empty and I tried to keep avoiding them by going to other racks, a two year old slammed into me several times. Since I had open-toed shoes, by the third time he body slammed me and stepped on my feet, I saw red. I said out loud “please, control your kids!”

Boy, that turned into a screaming match with the mother, who felt that I had no business saying a thing. I probably shouldn’t have shouted it out like I did, but she should have apologized or just left.

She started yelling “do you have kids?” I wish I had thought of a snappier response like “yes, and I don’t take them to stores instead of a playground.”

Then, she got on the phone to try to call security, but I hadn’t laid a hand on anyone and probably could have sued THEM ! (ahahha, no security came anyway)

When I was a nanny for six years, not once did I ever even come close to needing to discipline the girls. They behaved like angels whenever we were out in public. They might have needed a time out here and there at home, but not in public.

I’ve also had anniversary dinners ruined when kids are wildly running around, kicking tables, jumping up and down on chairs. I wanted to ask the manager to do something the last time, but my husband said to let it go....Although the food was outstanding, we’ll never go back.

I especially detest the spoiled parents and brats in Target. However, I often do see VERY well-behaved children and I try to compliment them to their parents. Balance out the karma or something.

[Immerito]

It can and has been overdiagnosed and misdiagnosed.

http://townhall.com/columnists/thomassowell/2007/11/13/crusades_versus_caution

I have personally witnessed an 8-year-old “autistic” (according to the mother) boy assault (the victim’s clothing was torn and four buttons had been pulled off) another person who was playing with his brother. After being initially apologetic, the mother explained that “he gets jealous when people play with Johnny; if Victim had spent more time paying attention to him, it wouldn’t have happened.”

Did the autistic child get a lesson about personal responsibility that day? Nope.

But the victim sure got a lesson “I have to be responsible for my behavior, but Johnny’s Mommy thinks its my fault if Johnny isn’t responsible for his.”

Those are the kind of parents you are, likely unfairly, being compared to. The parents who make excuses when their kids act out of line.

[Immerito]

It can and has been overdiagnosed and misdiagnosed. This article names some common ways that it can be so.

http://townhall.com/columnists/thomassowell/2007/11/13/crusades_versus_caution

I have personally witnessed an 8-year-old “autistic” (according to the mother; we’ll call him Billy) boy assault (the victim’s clothing was torn and four buttons had been pulled off) another person who was playing with his brother. After being initially apologetic, the mother explained that “Billy gets jealous when people play with Johnny; if Victim had spent more time paying attention to him, it wouldn’t have happened.” on about personal responsibility that day? Nope.

But the victim sure got a lesson “I have to be responsible for my behavior, but Billy & Johnny’s Mommy thinks its my fault if Billy isn’t responsible for his.”

Those are the kind of parents you are, likely unfairly, being compared to. The parents who make excuses when their kids act out of line.

[djf]

Hallelujah!

Been waiting for somebody to say this sort of thing.

I don’t have a problem with kids, in fact a youngun comes around and does some work for me now and then. Excellent worker. Always asks questions. Never complains. Very smart little kid!

But alot of these kids these days act like they’re in training to be the anti-Christ! No kiddin!

And their parents CANNOT accept the fact that the whole damn world doesn’t revolve around their little precious(s)!

I’ve come seriously close to taking matters into my own hands, ESPECIALLY when I see the little monsters dissing their own parents and it doesn’t even phase the parents....

Grrrrrrr.......!!!!!!

[MsLady]

Yea I agree, if the kid can understand then there is no excuse. This is how I handle it, she hasn’t gotten control of herself yet, we are still in the process of teaching her and she is still learning. And that’s what those parents should do. Kids, whether learning disabled, or normal, will meet whatever expectations you have of them(within reason that is). I expect my daughter to behave according to what she understands the rest we are in the process of teaching her. It’s been a very slow process but, she is still growing and I’m very proud of her. When I look back at what she was like at 4 and what she is like at 31, it’s the difference of night and day.

[Immerito]

I kinda like Chris Muir's take:

http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/2011/07/15/

:-)

[9422WMR]

Yes,actually I am!(a riot at parties)
Did you yahoos miss the /S?
JUST SAYiNG!
Duh.......

[bradthebuilder]

My grandfather was born in 1911 to immigrants from Eastern Europe. They had been through the mines and work camps and made their way to a steel city. When he was fourteen his father told him to leave school because the mill was hiring and that was that. His schooling was at the local Catholic school. He said once that the pastor beat him with a garden hose for doing wrong and he was deathly afraid of telling his father about it for fear of being beat worse. His generation was the so called greatest generation. Must have done something right.

[Hetty_Fauxvert]

I don’t know how old your son is — my boys are 4 — but when they act up like that (occasionally, luckily not often!), the stuff THEY want, such as a little toy, or special bagels or whatever they asked for, will get left behind. No treats for naughty kids, and they know it. One day we went to Burger King (special treat for my kids) and one of them would not behave. So we took the food and went home and ate it there, instead of eating at the restaurant, which was what they both wanted. My “special snowflake” has NOT repeated the behavior that made me take him straight home. :) They hate losing special treats and privileges.

(And yes, I have “the look,” and while I only use the flat of my hand on a little behind, and usually only one time, I have “the spank” too! I have had many people comment on how well-behaved my kids are in public.) (Though of course there are moments like the one in Burger King! LOL!)

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

I am not childless, I am childFREE. I have left several establishments because of screaming children. AND, I let the manager or owner know why.

I do not agree with the author's politics, but I agree with this article.

I have no problem with parents who keep their kids under control, but when they let them run and scream like some do, I get really pissed.

[christx30]

When my kids (boy 5, girl 3) act like that, I don’t give them special stuff. They were fighting over who got to pop the bubble wrap yesterday. So my wife sat them down side by side, and she popped every bubble... one... by...one.
He started saying “That’s not fair!”