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Need to blow off steam. I feel like my life is utterly pointless.
2-16-2011 | JamesP81

Posted on 02/16/2011 9:31:50 AM PST by JamesP81

I don't really have anybody I can talk to about this that would understand. I don't expect FR too either, but it's as good a place as any to vent.

You know what I do? I get up every day and go to work. I do my job and get my work done. I come home. I do it again the next day. And then again, and again, and again.

When I am dead, the most anyone will ever say about me is "he went to work ever day". If I were to simply drop dead, everything would pretty much be as if I had never lived. I have accomplished nothing noteworthy and I don't expect to. When my life is over with, the world will not be a better place, no one's lives will have been improved, and the evil that lives in the world will not have been pushed back.

This leaves me feeling....sick inside my soul. As if something is very, very wrong. The only thing I really look forward to is burying myself in the mundane of the normal to the degree that I do not think about these things. By and large this works, but some days I take my head out of the sand, and the result of that is days like today.

I've tried many things. When I was in school, I spent time every week in a nursing home. It did the folks there good to see anybody. But it did not fill the void. I am a blackbelt in karate and used to exercise a lot. It was good for me, but it did not fill the void. I have good friends, but I don't see them as much as I used to. We're all out of college, have jobs, and some have kids now. But even during the heyday of college, I couldn't fill the void with other people. I have hobbies. They're fun, but they leave me empty. I don't want to drop everything and be a drifter, but I don't want to sit still. I am not into carousing and having casual sex with whatever comes along. Never have been, and I'm fairly certain it would make me feel worse. I am a Christian; I do not speak to God as much as I should, but I do at times. He is supposed to have purpose for me, but I don't know what it is. I hope He has something for me other than work 9-5 until I'm dead.

A lot of people will say that your purpose is what you make of it. Every bit of evidence and observation I have tells me that's true. Yet I don't believe it, and never have.

In before "man up you wuss".


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: depression; gagdad; onecosmos; pointless; purpose
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To: JamesP81

God has a purpose for your life. JESUS is at the door. Open it. Remember to do everything. EVERYTHING as if you were doing for the Lord. Get into His Word and stay in daily fellowship with Him. Things will change in your life.


141 posted on 02/16/2011 10:50:34 AM PST by hope
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To: JamesP81

Watch this. Its cool.

http://downloads.cbn.com/cbnplayer/cbnPlayer.swf?s=/vod/MW131v2_WS


142 posted on 02/16/2011 10:51:50 AM PST by Delta 21
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To: saleman
Isn't this kind of outlook what makes it so easy for jihadi’s to recruit

Sure, or something like it. Fear of women.

143 posted on 02/16/2011 10:51:50 AM PST by bvw
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To: BenKenobi
“I often think I was born either a few centuries late or possibly a few centuries early”

1936. I would have been around for old time radio, pulp magazines, and 10-cent comic books.

Awesome.

144 posted on 02/16/2011 10:55:30 AM PST by who knows what evil? (G-d saved more animals than people on the ark...www.siameserescue.org.)
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To: JamesP81

Several months ago someone close to me was Baker Acted because his “I don’t care” attitude turned suicidal. The results of his blood work revealed that he needed Vit B-12 (500mcg), Vit D (1000iu), and Omega 3 Fish Oil (1000mg).

Taking those three little pills daily has made a world of difference!


145 posted on 02/16/2011 10:55:51 AM PST by Alice in Wonderland
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To: JamesP81

Sorry to keep chiming in, but I really relate to you. Things are better now.

I, too, was an old-school romantic (still am in many ways).

Again, we have to get out of self, keep expectations reasonable, put God above all else, be useful, and forget about all that Oprah “find yourself, know yourself, etc” crap.

Life is not like the movies or romance novels, and happiness is not the loftiest ideal.

Seek God, and you will know truth. And you will be content in your own skin, no matter what your present circumstances.


146 posted on 02/16/2011 10:55:51 AM PST by Retired Greyhound
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Comment #147 Removed by Moderator

To: JamesP81
There are is a lot of good people here. Follow their advice: doctor, the Bible, animal companionship. I hope it all works for you. I mean it.

It hasn't worked for me, but that's, I suppose, my problem, my circumstances. In dire straits still.

148 posted on 02/16/2011 10:57:06 AM PST by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: JamesP81

No matter how bad things seem, someone is feeling worse.....Imagine being a Detroit Lions fan.


149 posted on 02/16/2011 10:58:57 AM PST by Hot Tabasco (Oh Magoo, you've done it again.....)
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To: JamesP81

“He is supposed to have purpose for me, but I don’t know what it is. I hope He has something for me other than work 9-5 until I’m dead. “

God gave you a brain so you could find a purpose for yourself and give Him credit later if you feel like it. There will be no epiphany from God, despite what many will tell you, and you can wait a lifetime waiting for one.

If you are 29, have worked a productive job for a while, and have a little nest egg - well the world is your oyster.

The only suggestion I’d have is to travel someplace or places and see how other folks live - to some other country preferably.

You may find that you have a different perspective and appreciation for what you see now as a boring life.

If you don’t have an exciting enough/meaningful enough life - it’s not God’s fault, not anybody elses fault - it’s yours.

Remember this time, you may look back at it fondly should you be blessed with teenage daughters one day in the future.


150 posted on 02/16/2011 10:59:10 AM PST by RFEngineer
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To: Secret Agent Man

You are correct.

My dogs do know how whacky I am, and yet the love me unconditionally (well, as long as I feed them).


151 posted on 02/16/2011 11:00:03 AM PST by Retired Greyhound
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To: JamesP81
Hey, brother in Christ. I'm praying for you. Everything you've written could have been written by me. As the Bible says, there is nothing new under the sun. There are Legion of us who have felt the same way, Christian or not.

There is an old hymnal that goes, "Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings, see what God has done....". Try to take a minute and just do that and contemplate how he has blessed you. I can see that one thing he has blessed you with is a lot of FReeper friends that care about you, of which I am one. - OB1

152 posted on 02/16/2011 11:00:39 AM PST by OB1kNOb (Witty saying TBD.)
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To: mancini

Very well said, mancini.

In my experience, God has denied me those things that I put before Him and refused to let go of.

Once I let go, He ALWAYS had something better in store.


153 posted on 02/16/2011 11:02:06 AM PST by Retired Greyhound
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To: BenKenobi
What’s with all these folks? It’s like a convention.

This is just how FReepers are. They are just about the kindest, most caring group of people around. The media and the left (OK... I know... That was redundant) describe us as ogres who eat small children, but I've never seen a thread like this fail to get dozens if not hundreds of compassionate responses.

154 posted on 02/16/2011 11:02:58 AM PST by Redcloak (What's your zombie plan?)
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To: JamesP81

Welcome to life.

If you feel this way as a Christian, then I don’t think there’s anything anyone could do or say to make you feel any different.


155 posted on 02/16/2011 11:04:10 AM PST by Bronyaur
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To: JamesP81

You’re very young. The times ahead are certain to be a challenge, and preserving freedom will require everyone to play a part. You may very well be called upon to leave a legacy.

But you have to take care of yourself first. If that means seeking help, by all means do so.


156 posted on 02/16/2011 11:07:23 AM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: JamesP81

Get a hobby, sign up for match.com, take some St. Johns Wart, plan a vegetable garden for the Spring, start shooting regularly. Just a few ideas.


157 posted on 02/16/2011 11:07:43 AM PST by east1234 (Cut, Kill, Dig and Drill!)
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To: Redcloak
I'm just busting your balls, redcloak And yes there is prejudice towards goblins. I can't imagine why hanging out with Xykon would be a bad thing. ;)
158 posted on 02/16/2011 11:08:19 AM PST by BenKenobi (Don't expect to build up the weak by pulling down the strong. - Silent Cal)
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To: JamesP81
Hi James Sounds like a bad case of *cabin fever* at the very least.

A couple of suggestions: when I'm feeling *down* one of the best/quickest fixes I can get is to go to the range and shoot a bunch of targets. I always come out feeling better.

Got a pet? Can you have one where you live? Perhaps an adoption is a possibility. Even a couple of goldfish aren't a big bother.

Good luck to you!

159 posted on 02/16/2011 11:08:19 AM PST by Daffynition ( Live EACH DAY as if it were your last, but EXPECT that there still may be a tomorrow.)
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To: Soothesayer
"..It has gotten to the point where I am a complete nihilist."

An Ass Always Gets What He Brays For

bttt

160 posted on 02/16/2011 11:10:20 AM PST by Matchett-PI (Trent Lott on Tea Party candidates: "As soon as they get here, we need to co-opt them" 7/19/10)
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