Vanity - WORST Christmas Songs Ever

12/21/2010

[VRWCmember]

Yesterday we had a thread about favorite Christmas albums, so today I thought I would post one to ask everybody: What are the WORST Christmas songs ever recorded?

[Arrowhead1952]

Every time I hear:

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas

I have to change the radio station

[Conan the Librarian]

Yeh but it’s Eartha Kitt, so, I forgive her. I love to hear her sing.

Barbra Streisand’s Christmas Album. Anything on it.

Agree with the original poster on the rest.

[Charles Martel]

If Shatner recorded any, he’d be numbah one for sure....and I ain’t even gonna search.

Sure, leave it to others to do the dirty work... Shatner - Good King Wenceslas

There's a partial sample at the link. Go on, you know you want to click it.

[Robe]

Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE0LtovZ2jo

[Robe]

Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE0LtovZ2jo

[CharlesWayneCT]

That was an excellent rendition of the song, though — Chris Colfer can sing.

[smalltownslick]

I heard a darn good version by Dr. John and Maria Muldaur - but I don’t think they recorded it. It was on the old Nashville Now show.

[ErnBatavia]

AAAARGGGH !

[a fool in paradise]

All I Want For Christmas Is For Grandma To Get Run Over By A Reindeer, Do They Know It’s Happy X-Mas?

[a fool in paradise]

America’s least-loved Christmas song is a Danish recording of “Jingle Bells,” performed in dog barks.

Sweden gave us this chestnut.

Oh, I yust go nuts at Christmas, On that yolly holiday,
I'll go in the red, like a knucklehead
Cause I squander all my pay.
Oh, I yust go nuts at Christmas,
Shopping sure drives me beserk,
On the day before, I rush in da store,
Like a nervous nelly yerk.
I look at nightgowns for my vife,
Dose black ones trimmed in red.
But, I won't know her size,
And so, she'll get a carpet sweeper instead.
Oh, I yust go nuts at Christmas
Ven each kid hangs up his sock,
Its a time for kids, to flip der lids,
While der papa goes in hock.

[Charles Martel]

Ah yes, Harry Stewart as “Yogi Yorgesson”. I hadn’t heard “I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas” in thirty years - but not surprisingly it is on YouTube.

[T Minus Four]

Christmas Shoes... The Worst.. EVER.

Gag! It's on my bottom ten.

[T Minus Four]

Porky Pig version of “Blue Christmas"

Oh I LOVE that one ;-)

[patriot08]

Any song by rappers and rockers.
The old classics can’t be beat.

[Pecos]

For a few years, one of the local radio stations played a tape of Mel Blanc (the voice of Porky the Pig) in a night club singing the Elvis song “Blue Christmas”.....”I'll have a Bl-Bl-Blue Ch-Ch-Christmas without you...” The YouTube edition: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUELu8o5KJg

That same station now plays about three different Christmas songs (sung by everyone that has ever issued an album) from the week before Thanksgiving until Christmas. Tedious.

[Monterrosa-24]

Wow! Thanks! ...and thanks for the extra info.

[VRWCmember]

That is too funny.
Just as I saw that picture of Walken in a winter wonderland, the Dolly Parton version of Walkin’ in a Winter Wonderland started playing on my computer (I have my Christmas playlist on in the background) and now I will probably never be able to hear that song without seeing that picture.

[VRWCmember]

Hey, someone else considers “Baby It’s Cold Outside” a date-rape song too!

I think of it not so much as a date-rape song but rather a horn-dog trying to talk his girlfriend into shacking up for the night rather than going home.

[ctdonath2]

Agreed. Not just bad, but downright wrong on so many levels.
There’s “laugh/groan at it because it’s bad”, then there’s “drop what I’m doing and make it stop because of my visceral hatred of it.”

“I Want A Hippopotamus For Chrismas” is bad.
“Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart” is offensive.

[VRWCmember]

More later- I just turned on the continuous Christmas music station...

Last weekend as I was in my car running some errands, within a 30 minute span, the local all Christmas music station played all three that I listed plus two more that I would have listed had I caught the name of the song or the "artist". It was almost as if the DJ had thought to himself "how about I come up with the worst Christmas songs ever for one hellish segment that could drive people to commit suicide during the holidays?"