Posted on 09/22/2010 8:50:39 AM PDT by MissTed
We've all been there. It's a beautiful day, and you can't bear the thought of going into work. So you call in with some excuse about feeling ill, but you know in your bones that your boss doesn't buy it.
The feeling ill excuse is a short-term solution that won't win you any fans at the office -- someone else will have to pick up the slack, or you'll miss deadlines. And it won't help your career any. Here are 10 excuses -- five smart and five not-so-smart -- to help you save face and your sanity.
Smart Excuses
* I've Earned It: No one can argue with performance. Come in two or three hours early -- or stay late -- for a week or two. Then negotiate a day off in advance. "Really work when you're there, so you'll be able to feel good about taking time off," says Andrea Nierenberg, president of The Nierenberg Group, a management consulting and personal marketing practice.
* I'm Playing Golf with a Client: For this one to work, you've got to have a job that requires you to meet and court current and prospective clients. Neil Simpkins, an account executive at Oxford Communications, has used this one successfully. One note of caution: Meet the client; don't just say you did.
* I Have a Doctor's Appointment: This excuse will get you out of work for a half-day or so. Make the appointment first thing in the morning or late in the day, say around 3 p.m. You can leave the office by 2:30 p.m. and get home (hopefully) by 4 p.m. The shortened day will help you recharge, especially if you schedule it on a Friday afternoon.
* I Have Cramps: Before you dismiss this one, think about it: Who can argue? "It's such an embarrassing topic that nobody will ever challenge it," says Jennifer Newman, vice president of Lippe Taylor Public Relations. She has used this excuse -- and had it used on her -- successfully. "It's one of those things that men honestly have no clue about, and women can sympathize with." One important point: Don't use this one if you're a man. It'll never work.
* I'm Working from Home: This is an excellent way to give yourself a break if your company allows it. Although you'll need to do some work, you can generally get away with a shortened day. And you'll eliminate your commuting time.
Not-So-Smart Excuses
* There's a Death in the Family: Don't ever use this excuse if it's not true. Your employer will lose all trust in you. "I had an employee whose mother died -- twice," says David Wear, a Virginia PR executive. "He also had the misfortune of losing all his grandparents -- 12 of them -- during a two-year period."
* I'm Too Sleepy: When she was a manager at IBM, Marilynn Mobley heard it all. This one still makes her laugh: The employee apparently took Tylenol 3 with codeine instead of a vitamin, because the bottles looked alike.
* I Can't Get My Car Out of the Garage: This is another one that Mobley didn't buy. An employee said that a power failure was preventing him from opening his power-operated garage door. "I reminded him that there's a pull chain on it for just such cases," she says.
* I Can't Find My Polling Place: Mary Dale Walters, a communications specialist at CCH, couldn't believe this one. A former employee needed an entire day to figure out where she had to go to vote in the presidential election.
* I Have a Personal Emergency: This one is so vague that it rarely works. It could mean anything from fatigue to an appointment with your hairdresser, and your boss knows it.
Don't lie, no matter which excuse you use. "I'm not a believer in playing hooky, because it always comes back to you," Nierenberg says. "Don't lie to your boss, your supervisor or your clients. You're guaranteed they will be the ones you'll run into while you're walking down the street in your jeans."
I have an eye problem...just can’t see going to work.
Did he keep a box of tampons in his office too?
One that I’ve used is, “My wife is going to get pregnant and I want to be there.”
Since my teens I have never made an excuse to take off from work, I merely called and told them that I would not be in.
You’d think he’d want to get out of the house.
What a dummy! I'd have been asking for massive overtime during those periods. (no pun intended)
11) I need to surf the FR heavily, big stuff happening ...
“I was on my way to work when a drunkeness fell upon me.”
That’s why I’m a contractor and dont have a Lumberg from Office Space’ to grill me every morning.The one excuse that has never failed me in previous cubicle jobs were the words “flood”, “apartment”, “stay because the bldg mgr will call the plumbers” but u have to leave a message at around 6 am to make it convincing.
I realize this is supposed to be humorous....but lying is wrong. Period. It’s interesting because I plan to request an extra day soon to be able to travel out of state to visit a daughter who, because of the economic crisis, cannot get enough time off to travel home. I will simply tell the truth and am sure there will be no problem with regard to my request since I do what is required and more and seldom ask for such permissions.
“I can’t come in today... the voices told me to clean all of the guns.”
“I ran outta gas! I had a flat tire! I didn’t have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from outta town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts!! It wasn’t my fault I swear to God!!!”
lol - Great movie!
Good thing I'm the boss:)
Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, ever argues with diarrhea.
I’m calling in scared- I’m afraid I won’t make it in today.
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