“was not the person seen urinating Thursday afternoon between the 17th and 18th holes” Wow, that had to be a huge bladder full.
“The female calling to make the complaint, talking with a panting breathless voice, could not clearly identify which of the foursome was the culprit because her binocular lenses were partly fogged up.” “She then stated that she could not identify the golfer, but that in a lineup she was positive she could identify the offending appendage.”