I Need Your Prayers, Freepers (Tragedy/Comedy/Vanity)

My Life ^ | Today | Diana in Wisconsin

[Diana in Wisconsin]

Well, addiction has reared its ugly head again in our household. Had to kick Husband out this week. It appears that he has been 'doctor shopping' for prescriptions, and has gotten involved with some other relapsing druggies.

*SIGH*

It's been ten years since he got SOBER, but since he's on prescription drugs for back pain, he never really did get 'clean.' I gave it all I could. The kids are grown, I'm requesting my freedom from this madness. I matter little to him; I'm sure you know where his priorities lie.

I won't bore you with the details; this happens every day. My priorities have now shifted greatly; I'm in survival mode and I could really use some prayers...prayers that I stay strong. Prayers that I stay focused. Prayers that I will eventually see some light on the other side of this mess.

Thanks in advance.

[Irish Eyes]

My prayers are certainly with you.

[eyedigress]

Yes! It is a prayer specifically for your family. Yes! it is powerful! May God Bless!

[E.G.C.]

BTTT

[Diana in Wisconsin]

Thank you, Yaelle. I need to keep reminding myself of that. I do feel bad that I’ve reached my limit, but really...I need to save myself. I’m all I’ve got!

Thanks again. It’s appreciated. :)

[xp38]

Best Wishes and Prayers for you and all involved.

[ErnBatavia]

Just seeing this thread, Diana......industrial strength prayers headed north.

[who knows what evil?]

RD...Diana could use some prayers from the folks on the garden list; I’m sure...

[Diana in Wisconsin]

Thank You Glitter Pictures

Words cannot express how much your prayers, thoughts and e-mails have lifted me up in just these short 24 hours. Freepers ROCK!

[RJL]

Prayers lifted for you and also for your husband as well.

[Lando Lincoln]

Hey Diana... so sad to see this. I hope you are well. Stay strong.

Lando

[Diana in Wisconsin]

Thanks, Buddy. It was an OK day. Kept busy all day, and now I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed.

The sun will come up tomorrow. :)

[2nd amendment mama]

My Mother went through this as well but times change. I suggest listening to the works of C.S. Lewis before you decide to break. You will be the very one to keep him from deaths door.

I'm sorry but I have to disagree. HE has to be the one who wants to stay away from death's door. Most times we become the enabler for the alcoholic/addict to continue in their disease. We have to be selfish, for once, and take the necessary steps to get ourselves healthy in an emotional and mental sense.

We can't help anyone else by being an enabler/co-dependent. We are not responsible for another person's disease or recovery from it. We have to allow the alcoholics/addicts in our lives to experience the consequences of their own actions. Its the process of detachment - which can help us look at our situations realistically and objectively.

[HighlyOpinionated]

Glad God could use me to help. When asked to pray on FR or elsewhere on the internet, He pricked my heart not just to say “I’ll pray for you” but to find a prayer or let Him direct what to pray and then send it or post it. I’ve attempted to be obedient.

God Bless you . . . I learned years ago that “God puts His desires in our hearts” he doesn’t give us “our” desires . . . He plants His desires in our hearts so that His desires become our desires.

A lifetime ago, I was on the cusp of suicide having convinced myself that I had made too many mistakes to continue to live. All was black.

God intervened and showed me that the reason I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel was because the tunnel wasn’t straight . . . it was curved. How many times or how large the curve was, I would not know until I followed the tunnel to the end. If I’d put my hand out and feel the side of the tunnel, I’d feel the grooves of others who had passed through that same tunnel. All I had to do was reach out and touch and keep going. And when I got out of that tunnel, I knew that any future tunnel would be “a piece of cake.”

I also learned that every day, I make good decisions. THOUSANDS of good decisions. The alarm goes off. I open my eyes [good], stretch [good], throw off the covers [good], sit up on the side of the bed [good], slip on my slippers [good], stand up [good], walk into the bathroom [good], turn on the bathroom light [good] . . . you get the picture. I dress [very good]. I eat [very good]. I get in the car [good] start the car [good] put it in drive [good] push the gas pedal [good] stop at the end of the driveway to check for traffic [very good] etc. I stop at stop signs [very good], stop lights [very good] etc etc.

THOUSANDS of GOOD and VERY GOOD decisions EVERY DAY and I’m berating myself over maybe 200 BAD decisions IN MY ENTIRE LIFETIME? And NONE OF THEM VERY BAD or worse! [Murder, Grand Theft, etc.] God’s forgiven me for the bad ones so why am I saying I won’t forgive myself? God is greater than I and if I don’t forgive myself, I’m breaking the First Commandment.

A few months ago, I was talking with friends about my BAD mistake of marrying my ex-the-Lutheran-pastor. I said a prayer as I went to sleep wondering what would have happened if I hadn’t said “yes.” And God gave me a dream. I would have become an unmarried Lutheran Deaconess. I would not have had my two kids or six grandkids. I would have not been available for my BFF who needed “someone like me” to toss a credit card in her lap and say “here, go fix your car” and KNOW that God would take care of paying off the bill. [My BFF paid me back for that and for using my credit card to purchase a washing machine when hers broke down. Yet, I wasn’t worried about being repaid. I had a peace that surpasses understanding in my heart/soul/spirit.]

I would not have been a Social Worker in Alabama to help the “little old lady” who was on her way to commit suicide because she was being hounded by a sleazy-store-owner whose usury had her owing him her entire SSI check every month. Or the lady I could not assist financially but who I met later at a gasoline station and, recognizing me, said she’d meant to thank me because I’d given her hope that she could locate a job. And she had.

So, yes, I made a really really stupid, dumb, wrong, bad decision when I was 20 years old. But in the aftermath, I’ve been blessed to know tens of thousands of people I’d never have met, if I’d said “no.” And God’s been able to use me in places and areas I’d never had known if I’d just been a Lutheran Deaconess.

[Not to disparage any Lutheran Deaconesses. I know I would have been content but who’d have helped those people I was able to help because of what I’d been through?]

God bless us, everyone.

[Diana in Wisconsin]

Exactly. I mean, it’s taken me nearly 10 YEARS to figure this out, and I still have a loooooong way to go before I’m healed up again.

The damage that alcohilics/abusers/addicts of any stripe do to their family members is simply amazing. Me? Problems? Not of my own design, but I certainly am paying the price for the decisions he has made!

I’m not so sure that he’ll go the distance. Avoid and deny. Avoid and deny. That’s his creedo.

[workerbee]

Prayers for you, Diana.

[Diana in Wisconsin]

Thank you. I appreciate it. I need a few angels on my shoulders today. :)

[eyedigress]

It’s a decision. Prayer is most needed at this time.

[2nd amendment mama]

I have no doubt that You will make it! Continuing my prayers for your healing.

[sunbird]

“Thank you. I appreciate it. I need a few angels on my shoulders today. :)”

may those angels stay with you throughout the day and everyday, still keeping you in prayer.