Knowing the chocolate-loving brigade here, once again a time traveler has ensured the future he sought to prevent.
Posted on 04/05/2010 10:24:30 AM PDT by Sax
A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.
The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.
Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.
Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."
This isn't the first time time-travel has been blamed for mishaps at the LHC. Last year, the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so "abhorrent" that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery.
Professor Brian Cox, a former CERN physicist and full-time rock'n'roll TV scientist, was sympathetic to Mr Cole. "Bless him, he sounds harmless enough. At least he didn't mention bloody black holes."
Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.
Where’s Art Bell when you need him...
or John Titor...
Let that thing roll.
I want to see what happens.If the world goes boom,ah shift happens.
Was a crazy year for a lot of us,guy should seek help like I did.Preferably not from the Feds though.
Nice colors
I think he was off-planet at the time.
Knowing the chocolate-loving brigade here, once again a time traveler has ensured the future he sought to prevent.
.
Was it THIS guy?
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1610142/posts
LMAO!
well he’ll get a mention from George Noory on Coast-To-Coast tonight.
Maybe he altered the space-time continuum by coming back here?
Dr. Who does it all the time....
.
Yeah but every time he comes home the furniture is all re-arranged.
Cool...that looks like The Time Tunnel. I loved that show as a kid. It’s a great kick to watch it now on Hulu.com
"...???...don't know nuttin bout no pair a doxes, and only time I know is dinner time"
Slaughterhouse Five! Montana Wildhack! One of my role models in my misspent youth.
There is something to this. The article is from April 1st!!!
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Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.
He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.
The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."
STOP! STOP!! TOO MANY TARGETS!!
Until you called me back here, i was blissfully forgetting i read this. :)
Again. Before.
I wanted Thin Mints.
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