~~~~ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd ~~~~

[Lucky9teen]

http://www.youdrivewhat.com/

White House Infested With Bedbugs After Biden Brings In Recliner Off The Curb

WASHINGTON—The White House suffered a severe bedbug infestation last week after Vice President Joe Biden reportedly "scored" a discarded recliner chair that "someone was just throwing out" on the corner of Windom Road and 32nd Street. "It's plenty comfy, and I'll tell ya, they don't make 'em with levers like this anymore," said Biden, scratching at a series of red welts on his arms as he pointed out the pocket on the side that could hold both a remote control and a Coors tallboy. "It reclines all the way back. All the way. And you wanna know what else? It holds two people, if you know what I mean." Meanwhile, Senegal officials reported that their nation has been plagued by an outbreak of bedbugs since its president returned from a short stay in the Lincoln Bedroom.



Obama To Wait For Next Bruce Springsteen Album For Word On Economy

WASHINGTON—Faced with the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, the White House announced Tuesday that a cautious President Obama is awaiting the release of the next Bruce Springsteen album before moving forward with additional economic stimulus initiatives. "If Mr. Springsteen puts out an E-Street Band project with one rave-up and several tracks containing an overarching theme of redemption, the president will certainly take that as a strong indicator of economic recovery," said press secretary Robert Gibbs, adding that an album cover featuring an American flag would be "extremely promising." "However, if he records a stark, haunting, Nebraska-esque exploration of blue-collar life, then it is time to lower interest rates and take immediate steps toward drastically reevaluating our current strategy." The president has reportedly eschewed the supplementary Mellencamp Little Pink Housing Index used during the Reagan administration, as economists now widely believe it conveys a derivative, shallow view of the American fiscal landscape.

[a fool in paradise]

Now what?

[ShadowAce]

Now we can claim the thread hit 100 posts.

WooHoo!!

[a fool in paradise]

Friday afternoon thread stall.

[Hoffer Rand]

The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

[nite97m]

Count much?

[Hoffer Rand]

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

[Darksheare]

Catnip mainly.
If he’s mind blarghed, he can’t think about it.

[Hoffer Rand]

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

[Hoffer Rand]

Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

[a fool in paradise]

[a fool in paradise]

[Hoffer Rand]

2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

[Hoffer Rand]

2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

[Hoffer Rand]

Grrrr

[Hoffer Rand]

453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

[Hoffer Rand]

4 nickels = 2 paradigms

[Hoffer Rand]

1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

[nite97m]

Why do psychic's always want you to call?
Shouldn't they know you want to talk to them and just call you?

On another note: Why do psychic's always ask who's calling?

If a psychic goes blind, do they suffer from a lack of vision?

[Darksheare]

“It put up a grand fight, but I beated it.. and oh.. wow, the colors.”

[Ingtar]

I pledge allegiance 2 da Saints & 2 da great city of N. O. & 2 da Super Bowl, 4 which we’ll win, 1 city, B low C level, under God, with Mardi Gras & alcohol 4 all.