Posted on 11/19/2009 5:28:48 PM PST by 1776 Reborn
I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.
The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.
The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.
After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.
The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.
That deer EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.
A deer -- no chance.
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.
The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.
I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand....kind of like a squeeze chute.
I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.
Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.
I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it.
While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.
If you run a quick web search you will see the story about the Russian 9/11 Monument was covered by Fox and some other conventional media outlets. Putin visited the site when he was here on one of his UN trips. Clinton visited it, and George W must have been there at some point as well. The Fox story discussed the fact there was an extra 40+- names
listed that had to be taken off the marker.
Texas Two-Step...Cabela’s Fort Worth.
http://www.waymarking.com/waymarks/WM5KX1_Texas_Two_Step_Cabelas_Fort_Worth_TX
It is more impressive to see it in person.
The part about the use of the hooves is why a bull moose in rutting season is the most feared animal in the North Woods. They will knock you down and trample and trample with the hooves, so long as they can still smell any blood.
bttt
“The Fox story discussed the fact there was an extra 40+- names
listed that had to be taken off the marker.”
The Chicago Daly Machine again ;-)
I just posted the story and pinged you. Did it work?
urban legend, but a good one.
http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends2007-02.html
-I think I know why the Russian 911 monument didn't get a lot of press coverage...
Good grief.
Just imagine what the Lincoln Tunnel appears like to those types of dimwits.
Wow! Not only do you speak Blerch, but also Spanish! I admire that.
Frooble.
This monument was dedicated in 2006, why did it take until the last few days for us news-hounds to read about it? I really never heard of it until a few days ago. It’s a beautiful monument. Too bad Clinton gave the dedication speech, but still, it’s a lovely tribute to the attacks on 9-11-01.
Hey, what about this great November weather? After that lousy October, this is great stuff!
Must tear self away from FR...and go enjoy rare nice weather.
Same question most of us have asked, my friend.
As I said already, is it any wonder the Russians think us ingrates? LOL
"Hey, what about this great November weather? After that lousy October, this is great stuff!"
You Libras.
K said the exact same to me as we soaked in the hot tub, this morning. ;^)
Guess that's why she & her parents spent the entire day at the casino, huh. Good grief, I've tried. I really have. LOL
OTOH 'twas a beautiful day to set a course for the deep Kettle Moraine & burn some carbon, which is exactly what I did. Feel like a million bucks, minus the dough. LOL :^)
"Must tear self away from FR...and go enjoy rare nice weather."
Amen to that!!
If there's been a better day to say, take a horse out for a ride?
This be it.
Have the Weber set up already for tonight's wings, too.
Char some beef critter later for Mr. D & yourself!!
Be too late for that, real soon. ;^)
Indeed.
LOL and I guess happy new year? LOL
Forgotten classic.
The best part is those deer were already coming to eat at the corn feeder everyday!! All the guy had to do was keep enuf food for the deer and wait
LOL!
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