[Wardenclyffe]

From: The Daily Mail, 11-27-08

Police offer free flip-flops to binge drinkers who keep falling over in heels

Drunk women who stagger about in high heels are to be protected - at public expense - from twisting their ankles.

They will be handed flip-flops to wear by police outside nightclubs as they wend their way home.

The scheme is part of a £30,000 drive by police and councillors to prevent 'alcohol-related harm'.

The flip-flops will be given to anyone whose footwear is 'uncomfortable, inappropriate or soiled' and will be paid for with a Home Office grant.

[stormer]

When my doctor told me he thought I was a “binge” drinker I told him I thought that was an ugly word - I told him I prefer “spree”.

[FlingWingFlyer]

I still think that running with a pair of scissors is more dangerous than wearing flip flops. I haven't done a government grant funded study yet though.

Now running with a pair of scissors while wearing a pair of flip flops can really be deadly.

[abigailsmybaby]

I wasn’t planning on eating mine.....or even sucking on them a little bit.

[max americana]

Flip flops are dangerous..go ask John Kerry in 2004.

[Brad’s Gramma]

ABBOTT and COSTELLO:
Costello Buys A Computer

Remember ABBOTT and COSTELLO Jokes? Hope you enjoy this one. In today's world, Bud ABBOTT and Lou COSTELLO's famous sketch "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this....

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . . . .

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks.I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer.I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer!I need something I can use to write proposals,track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?

ABBOTT: Of course.

COSTELLO: Great! With what?

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT: The blue "1".

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?

ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!

ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.

COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.

COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

A FEW DAYS LATER . .

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........

(Click Here for Audio of the Original "Who's On First" Routine.)

[ThePanFromJapan]

There’s an easy way to combat that.

Dip your flip-flops in bleach and water after everytime you go out to a public forum.

If not that, then wipe it down with Hydrogen Peroxide.

Are the people who are reporting these stories utterly and completely dumb to the many ways this can be taken care of?

[Hugin]

Don’t lick your flip-flops.

[NoLibZone]

"One pair of 6-year-old flip-flops."

6 year old flip flops.

[MurrietaMadman]

So. You think vee argh kiddink about flippen-flops? You vant to vare der flippen-flops? You vant to risk and danger der fourth reich?? Out wit der medick-ait benefit! Out! Out!
Der flippen-flops use-sir iss abusink der homelandt. Und vee vill hunt you down!

http://www.freerepublic.com/perl/profiles?location=53

The government health services are focused on preventive measures.This plan is willing to cover Americans who take care of themselves including exercising regularly & eating correctly and not abusing themselves by smoking and being over weight. In other words, this will be taken into account, as well as your age, when you need health coverage.

The statement “ seniors must be living well “ can expect a certain amount of care, but depending on your age and condition if a surgery will be provided by this plan.

However, if you or a family member as a senior need extraordinary measures, this plan will not cover these seniors.

As you can see the government health plan is “ for the greater good.” That means all Americans no matter what their age is.

[fieldmarshaldj]

"Can your flip-flops kill you?"

This one will.

[mojitojoe]

I would imagine they would if people didn’t wash them. You can wash them with antibacterial cleaners or even in the washing machine on delicate with hot water and a little bleach.

[BigCinBigD]

Joho Kerry’s still alive. So I would say...No.

[Marie2]

Wouldn’t any shoe have the same amount of germs? Is there something different about a flip-flop? Were I to wear my tennishoes on the same route, I assume the same germs would be on them.

[smokingfrog]

[DieHard the Hunter]

(shivers!) If wearing Jandals is dangerous, imagine how lethal it could be to run around barefoot!!!

There ought to be a Law!

[GOP Poet]

bookmark

[Tainan]

Blue flip-flops are the national footwear of Taiwan.

Seriously.

[2ndClassCitizen]

This is preventative public health care in action.

[Eagle Eye]

BTW, NOT GUILTY!