Posted on 06/29/2009 7:10:30 AM PDT by JoeProBono
An ambitious director might look at Mitch Halligan's property and see an instant B-movie classic: "Invasion of the Grasshoppers." The place is overrun with the greasy little bugs. With each step you take on his property, the squirmy inch-long grasshoppers jump for cover in every direction. Those that don't crunch under foot perch themselves atop tall grass stalks, crawl up pant legs or munch through gardens.
(Excerpt) Read more at guardian.co.uk ...
Grasshopper, grasshopper why do you stay? Oh, my young friend, because it is so tasty here. But, grasshopper, how can that be—it is foul to, but thee.
I have never seen grasshoppers that look like your picture. Maybe because the wild turkeys eat them like candy : )
Should we be on the lookout for sea gulls in UT?
Where are those sea gulls when you need them?
Time to go into the fish bait business.
As everyone knows, lawyers are reincarnated as sea gulls. After all, gulls spend their lives squawking all the time, sh*tting all over everything, and they steal everything not too heavy to fly off with.
History also tells us that sea gulls once before appeared in large numbers to save Utah from a grasshopper invasion.
We know that if Utah is to be spared the devastation this grasshopper invasion will cause, Utah needs a large number of sea gulls.
Remember, lawyers are reincarnated as lawyers? Logic thus tells us how to help our fellow Americans in grasshopper besieged Utah.
Save Utah - Kill All The Lawyers!
Too many grasshoppers? :)
Sea gulls saved Utah from an early grasshopper invasion (actually, locusts). Thus we know gulls eat grasshoppers.
We also know lawyers are reincarnated as sea gulls because:
1. Sea gulls call angrily all the time.
2. Sea gulls quarrel continuously.
3. Sea gulls sh*t all over everything and every one.
4. Sea gulls steal anything not too heavy to fly away with.
Utah is threatened by a swarm of grasshoppers and only lots of sea gulls eat the grasshoppers and thereby save Utah.
Therefore, Logic 101 tells us the following:
SAVE UTAH - KILL ALL THE LAWYERS!
Too many grasshoppers? :)
Grasshoppers (locusts, actually) were about devour all the crops of the early inhabitants of Utah when a flock of sea gulls came and ate the grasshoppers.
Utah is now again at risk of devastation because of grasshoppers beyond number.
We also know that lawyers are reincarnated as sea gulls because:
1. Sea gulls scream at each other all the time.
2. Sea gulls sh*t all over everything and everyone.
3. Sea gulls quarrel all the time.
Logic 101 thus provides the answer to the Utah grasshopper problem.
SAVE UTAH - KILL ALL THE LAWYERS ! ! !
Exactly, zero will even claim this as a historic event...and of course President Bushs fault..
Lotsa sea gulls in Utah. Been to the Great Salt Lake?
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