[pinged some who might have some perverse or other kind of interest in such introspection! . . . and/or be able to add some insights, comments LOL]
[WOW, you sure triggered a flood of self-disclosure with a simple question! LOL]
TAINAN: Just curious...Did you get beat-up a lot as a kid?
Not really.
Though I was certainly much more of a social isolate, than not. And, we lived out of town quite a ways without any close neighbors. And, I was an only child until my mother and step-father adopted a baby girl when I was 10.
ONCE—after repeated tauntings by a bully, I got hit once or twice [actually managed to hit back a time or 2—I think I shocked even myself] and a 2nd attempt by his brother—who’s fingers I bent backwards until he gave up.
I was verbally ridiculed, assaulted plenty . . . almost routinely. Usually I just took it without much reply until I don’t recall what age . . . At some point, I learned to fight back somewhat verbally. For some reason in my BA program, I didn’t suffer much from such though there were occasional cheeky comments of one sort or another. The Navy was a bit worse than college in some locations and better than college in others.
Thankfully, as an adult, face to face, most folks have respected my heart and my IQ even if they thought I was a bird of rare plumage.
My own ATTACHMENT DISORDERed history from my parents divorce [my age 2] etc. on has sure complicated my life. LOL. Thankfully, the worst of that has long been much worked through but the residue remains here and there. My fiesty responses are likely one example.
The silly thing is . . . that in terms of personal pique, most folks can call me all manner of stuff in all manner of contexts and it’s no big deal. It’s more amusing and pitiful in terms of the assaulter, than anything.
Yet, I have a fierce hostility to [usually] thoroughly ignorant naysayers trashing UFO threads with inaccurate hostile ridicule to the point that the 150 ping list members avoid them in disgust when they’d rather be able to discuss the topic reasonably—or at least read such a discussion. The theft of that opportunity by terminal jerks REALLY annoys me still more than I should let it. Maybe if I felt less responsibility, it would help. LOL.
My personal confidence etc. has grown enormously the last 30+ years. I know who I am in God a lot better as well as who I am in the world. I know my capacities and skills as a helper and lover of God and people are probably in the top 1%. At lots of levels, that God knows that and that a lot of other people know that is sufficient for me regardless of who doesn’t know that.
Yet, I can still be tweaked, somewhat. Guess I’m still human.
I’d wager that, by God’s Grace, there are STILL quite a lot of folks (former students) in Tainan who know that my heart, my caring were more intense and thoughtfully and practically applied to their benefit than was true of any other Wy-Guo-Ren they have ever met—usually by a significant margin. That’s a pleasing comfort, to me. Besides, my Chinese family name is not all that common, except in Tainan. LOL. The numbers of Chinese students who volunteered that they KNEW I loved them MORE THAN THEIR OWN PARENTS was shocking, to me.
Amazingly, God has even brought me to the point that I can actually love my enemies. Doesn’t mean I care to or like to put up with unnecessary poo from them . . . but loving them as made in God’s image is not a problem.
Joya’s welcome to share whatever she cares to about my handling of such things face to face, that she’s observed. She’s sometimes seen some interesting stuff in a church situation and in a pottery class.
The most persistent comment, over the whole of my life, remains “I’ve just never ever, ever met anyone like you before.” And, a wide range of people don’t know how to handle that well.
Thankfully, students and a lot of other people enjoy the same things that others have a lot of difficulty with. Go figure. As my own Rorschach . . . it’s a riot—humorous, fun.
I think that also influences my responses to the naysayers hereon. I KNOW from tons of experience what sorts of people have a hard time with me. And usually, they REALLY ARE VERY JERKY sorts of people that most folks have a hard time being around very comfortably, themselves. As Joya can readily tell you . . . I have this knack of bringing out the worst in some folks [usually all it takes is my breathing and being within 20 feet of them! LOL].
Thankfully, by God’s Grace, I can also bring out the best in a lot of other sorts of people. LOL.
When, by God’s Grace, a long string of counseling clients volunteer things like: “I’ve had 11 other counselors including a lot of years in analysis. You’re the best. You’ve done me more good in 6 months than they did in years put together.” . . . THAT’S VERY GRATIFYING. Certainly it’s flattering and encouraging. BUT IT MEANS MORE TO ME THAT THEY FINALLY GOT SOME PRACTICAL HELP AND MADE THEIR LIVES BETTER. And it’s a humbling honor that God’s allowed me to play such a role. It’s a kick.
At this point in my life . . . I probably suffer fools less well than I have in the past. I used to have so much empathy for almost every kind of fool that I almost thought of them as a long lost twin. I’m not much that way any more.
On the other hand, with different fingers, I’ve ended up feeling like long lost buddies toward a number of formerly fierce detractors hereon. I love that.
It still puzzles me [in significant measure even though I think I understand the basic dynamics] . . . it still puzzles me that the UFO topic seems to trigger sooooooo much abject hostility—and assaultive hostility at that.
Why not just walk on by? WHAT IS IT about the UFO topic that triggers such reflexive outbursts from a certain type(s) of personality(-ies). OBVIOUSLY such folks also have a serious degree of REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER in their backgrounds. But what is it about the UFO topic that triggers their pent-up hostilities? Fascinating.
I don’t know what these correlates have to do with it . . . but more than a time or two . . . it’s a bloke that seems to be obsessed more than average with . . . [lacking a better short-han] racy vehicles and racy women.
That could readily imply, indicate a REAL paucity of balanced, healthy intense emotional connectedness. Of course that would define, again, R. Attachment Disorder. But what about such particular expressions of RAD correlates with the racy vehicles and racy women? Why are THOSE RAD cases sooooo given sooooo much to hostility about UFO’s and those who believe they really do involve some ‘otherness’ from ‘out there.’
Could it be that their world view and . . . indeed, their world . . . their interpersonal world . . . is sooooo emotionally shallow, fractured, conflicted . . . isolated . . . at deep emotional levels . . . that the very thought that there might really be some OTHERNESS ALSO threatening the status quo—is JUST TOOOOOO HORRIFICALLY INTOLERABLE to ignore???
Plausible. I just don’t know. It’s very very curious, to me.
I am chewing on a better, more mild and neutral response to such jerks. I’ll probably need to sign onto one of the image hosting sites to use it, though.
Besides, it’s true, PART of me DOES enjoy the fray of vigorous exchange. I LOVE INTENSE group work. People learn things in such intense interactions that they seem not to learn ANY other way—even if much of it, for some folks, is very delayed learning, long after the experience.
However, I don’t really want to give into slapping back just to be slapping back. That aspect is troubling spiritually and I want to remove that aspect. That’s why I’ve been chewing so diligently on an alternative. I think I have one. How to make it practical and handy is yet to be figured out.
Anyway—thanks for this stroll through memory lane.
Were YOU beat-up a lot as a kid?