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[a fool in paradise]

I’m not sure what that means.

[envisio]

I go out of my way NOT to pay for anything that says “green” or “earth friendly” or “organic” on it.

[a fool in paradise]

Certainly don’t be pressured into paying EXTRA for it.

[Lady Jag]

[envisio]

I was taught to respect other people’s property, thats why I don’t litter. I figure, you throw something down... it lands on someone else’s property.
Thats what I try to tell the kids. They are bad about dropping a lollipop wrapper or something right where they are. I ask them who should pick that up?

[Monkey Face]

Yep. That’s the way I was raised. If it isn’t yours, don’t touch it until you ask. If you have to discard something, ask for a wastebasket, or stick it in your pocket and take it with you.

I still do that. Old habits die hard! :o]

[absolootezer0]

3 CEOs from car companies were lined up in the bathroom.
the CEO from GM walks over to wash his hands, turns the water on full blast uses a ton of soap scrubs a lot and uses half a dozen sheets of paper to dry off and says “at GM, we’re taught to be thorough”
the Toyota CEO walks up to the sink, barely splashes the water on with a tiny amount of soap for his hands then works and works a lather, wipes the suds off then barely splashes the water to rinse, then uses a tiny scrap of towel to dry his hands and says “at Toyota, we’re taught to be economical”
the third guy finishes his business, zips up and walks straight to the door and says “over at Jeep, we’re taught not to piss on our hands”

[a fool in paradise]

Hey! I want that football!

Looks like Barry grabbed it.

[r-q-tek86]

A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner..

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

[the_devils_advocate_666]

Hey! I want that extension ladder!

[a fool in paradise]

Barack needs that ladder to climb the magic beanstalk that will save America’s economy.

[Bertram3]

REDNECK PLAY STATION

[Lady Jag]

An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing gum, sits down next to him.

The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation. French man: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"

American (in a bad mood): "Of course."

French: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face. The American listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

American: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the states."

The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to France."

 

 

[Mind Freed]

I served in the military. Thankfully I never came anywhere close to having a day like these brave men. I remember going through an airport in Germany on my way to a deployment. I was going to a relatively peaceful area. I saw a group of soldiers who were on there way to very unstable area and all I could think of were how many had kids, were married, had family worried about them. Those brave men and women served their country regardless, and ever since that day I have had the deepest respect and gratitude for my country and the men and women who served it. God bless you all!

[Cyber Ninja]

[Cyber Ninja]

Pillow fights aren't silly at my house...

[a fool in paradise]

I’m all for women in our space program. Zero gravity pillow fights!

[Lucky9teen]

A co-worker got a pen stuck inside our printer. He started to try and remove the pen, but I told him we don't have time for that now, just put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the Help Desk. So he grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled on it. I left before he finished the note.

About 20 minutes later, one of my tech's comes in laughing and says he was just in the lobby, saw a piece of paper on a printer and went to investigate.

Attached is what he found. Sometimes things don't always come out the way you want them to..........

[r-q-tek86]

The Pen is Mightier

[Nateman]