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$$$$ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd$$$$
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Posted on 04/24/2009 5:41:19 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Have you ever wondered how all of these Democrats can drive around in their big cars, live in their huge homes and fly all around the world in private jets with no guilt? Up until now its been a closely guarded secret.
Hi, Billy Mays here again -this time for the one product that will allow you too, to live the energy wasting lifestyle youve always dreamed about, but were too eco-conscious to pursue.
Green is good and what could be more green than planting a tree, saving an endangered species habitat or building a windmill? Nothing! Nothing could be better. So if youre ready to go green, then youre doing a good thing, and doing a good thing makes you good person!
And good people know a good thing when they see one.
Introducing the Obama Carbon Offset Coins! Each coin bears the Earth-friendly face of President Barack Obama. Because theyre minted in China*, we can offer them to you at an astonishingly low price.
Each coin you purchase will help save an old growth tree, build an environmentally friendly energy source, or adopt an orphan tree.
These old growth trees are home to endangered species like the Red Cockade Woodpecker and the Spotted Owl, and deserve to be preserved.
Wind mills and solar panels are not the only way to gain energy independence but they are the greenest. For each dollar you spend on an Obama Carbon Offset Coin, a full three cents will go to one of these worth projects. Now thats change you can believe in.
But the one that pulls at my heartstrings, and I hope your purse strings, is the Orphan Tree Fund. Millions of trees are living in desperate situations, in impoverished nations around the world. Many of these trees have never been hugged. By purchasing Obama coins, you give these neglected trees a chance to grow-up and lead productive lives, cleaning harmful CO2 from our air.
For just one Obama Carbon Offset Coin a week, you can help change the life of a deserving tree
forever. Four times a year, you will receive a picture of your tree and a report on how its doing. Suitable for framing, youll treasure your tree and feel good about yourself, because youll know that not only have you saved a tree, youre saving the planet.
And if you order your Obama Carbon Offset Coins in the next twenty minutes, well throw-in Transparency In Government, a life-sized poster of Vice-President Joe Biden and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. This poster proves the Democrat Party has nothing to hide.
So you get the Obama Carbon Offset coins and a Joe and Hillary poster.
But wait theres more!
As an added bonus, were going to give you a second poster. Thats right. Just for ordering in the next twenty minutes, well send you -absolutely free- Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi showing that they too can wear the Emperor Obamas New Clothes.
Get yours now!
Due to high demand, the phone lines may be busy. Dial 1-800-HUG-TREE, thats 1-800-HUG-TREE and be prepared to wait. Getting your Obama Carbon Offset Coins are just like getting economic recovery.
*Obama Carbon Offset Coins cannot be sold to children under 16 due to the lead content.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: communistholiday; earthday; globalwarming; green; leninsbirthday; obamajokes; ofst; silliness
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To: Lady Jag
A French doctor says ‘Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.
A German doctor says ‘That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.
The Russian doctor says ‘In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.
An American doctor, not to be outdone, says ‘You guys are way behind.
We recently took a man with no brains out of Illinois , put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work.
161
posted on
04/24/2009 11:09:01 AM PDT
by
sunny48
To: ErnBatavia
We got into the 90s and the same warning was sounded around here.
162
posted on
04/24/2009 11:10:41 AM PDT
by
oldteen
To: Lucky9teen
163
posted on
04/24/2009 11:12:26 AM PDT
by
Envisioning
(Proud "Right Wing Extremist" per the DHS.......)
To: a fool in paradise
164
posted on
04/24/2009 11:12:44 AM PDT
by
sunny48
To: mylife
Don't eat the yellow sand...
165
posted on
04/24/2009 11:16:11 AM PDT
by
a fool in paradise
(IRONY - we know more about the First Dog's historical papers than we do of President Barack.)
To: a fool in paradise
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini,
each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.
When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed,
the Irishman started to leave.
“S’cuse me”, said a customer,
who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done,
“what was that all about?”
“Nothin’, said the Irishman,
“me wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!”
166
posted on
04/24/2009 11:17:25 AM PDT
by
sunny48
To: sunny48
A new supermarket opened here. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.
I don’t buy toilet paper there any more...
167
posted on
04/24/2009 11:18:15 AM PDT
by
a fool in paradise
(IRONY - we know more about the First Dog's historical papers than we do of President Barack.)
To: Lucky9teen
Oldie but a goodie [ducking and running]
Top 10 reasons a gun is favored over a woman...
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
# 9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
# 8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
# 7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
# 6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo
# 5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
# 4. Guns function normally every day of the month.
# 3 . A gun doesn't ask , 'Do these new grips make me look fat?'
# 2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....
YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN.
168
posted on
04/24/2009 11:20:22 AM PDT
by
Envisioning
(Proud "Right Wing Extremist" per the DHS.......)
To: a fool in paradise
169
posted on
04/24/2009 11:21:25 AM PDT
by
mylife
(The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
To: Travis T. OJustice; Lady Jag
Love your opening! Ewwwww.
,,,as spoken by the two Janets - Reno and Napolitano.
170
posted on
04/24/2009 11:23:17 AM PDT
by
ErnBatavia
(Impeach now!)
To: a fool in paradise
171
posted on
04/24/2009 11:23:55 AM PDT
by
mylife
(The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
To: envisio
Tell your daughter the only thing edible (really!) about the soy plant is the roots, and even THEY have to be fermented. (Soy sauce.)
Soy is a hormone, and will cause early physical maturity in both females and males, though males will most probably “look soft” and develop large breasts.
Chinese don’t use it except during times of famine.
172
posted on
04/24/2009 11:24:25 AM PDT
by
Monkey Face
(Borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect it back!)
To: sunny48
This cat begging money was spotted in one of the cities of Belarus. He stays on one place with a note that reads need money for meat and fish, bless you. He doesnt leave his place and protects the money just with his sight. His owner was found nearby. It was an old lady. She told the story that she had rescued the cat from the slaughters, but at that time she had already owned some pets and couldnt feed them all, so he decided to let the pets earn the money for themselves.
173
posted on
04/24/2009 11:25:41 AM PDT
by
a fool in paradise
(IRONY - we know more about the First Dog's historical papers than we do of President Barack.)
To: a fool in paradise; fanfan
Awesome idea! I don’t think it would work here. We have almost 15,000 homeless people...always begging...someone would most likely steal the cat for food.
174
posted on
04/24/2009 11:35:18 AM PDT
by
Monkey Face
(Borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect it back!)
To: Lucky9teen
I'm 12% green. But here is what I checked:
You try to cut down on paper by doing things electronically.
I hate having papers all over the place. Don't care about saving the trees, they have been around for this long, they're not going anywhere.
You turn off lights after you leave a room.
Wouldn't everyone like to have a cheaper electric bill?
You only use air conditioning when absolutely necessary.
Once again, I like having a cheaper electric bill. I never once said to myself, "DAMN it's hot, but I can suffer knowing that the earth is cleaner." Yeah right, if it's hot, crank it up!
175
posted on
04/24/2009 11:35:27 AM PDT
by
Mind Freed
("Every man has the right to be a fool 5 minutes a day. Wisdom is not exceeding the limit.")
To: erkyl
ROFL! Bookmarking so I can help others laugh!
176
posted on
04/24/2009 11:36:59 AM PDT
by
fortunecookie
(Please pray for Anna, age 7, who waits for a new kidney.)
To: Travis T. OJustice
And nobody caught that when the request for a specialized plate came in? LOLOL!
177
posted on
04/24/2009 11:39:38 AM PDT
by
fortunecookie
(Please pray for Anna, age 7, who waits for a new kidney.)
To: Travis T. OJustice
178
posted on
04/24/2009 11:41:58 AM PDT
by
fortunecookie
(Please pray for Anna, age 7, who waits for a new kidney.)
To: Mind Freed
I’m as frugal as the next guy, but when Obama said I couldn’t set my AC to 75, I swear to God I cranked down the AC, opened a window and yelled “HEY OBAMA! I AM RUNNING MY AC WITH THE WINDOWS OPEN!”
179
posted on
04/24/2009 11:42:56 AM PDT
by
mylife
(The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
To: a fool in paradise
One of the people in my office was in one of those internet organized public pillow fights on the lawn of an art museum.
She just left her husband for another woman.
I’m not sure what that means.
180
posted on
04/24/2009 11:45:32 AM PDT
by
Pan_Yan
(America has proved it's not racist. Now it needs to prove it's not suicidal.)
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