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Last January President Bush went to Saudi Arabia to ask for an increase in oil output. It was unusually cold that winter and actually snowed in the Saudi capital. A snippet of conversation was recorded by the press:

President Bush: Will you please increase your oil production?
King Abdullah: When Riyadh freezes over!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now for an utterly shameless string of bad puns....

Time for my al-gebra homework again. That’ll really shaykh up my afternoon. Some of these problems involve radicals and require the use of weapons of math instruction such as calculators and compasses. Israeli cool, isn’t it? When’s the math assignment Dubai, do you know? Oman, that soon? Holy Shi’ite! My teacher is Syriasly such a Turkey. And she talks way too much; she has a tendency to Babylon about things. Yemen [yeah man], that’s right. I’m Shiraz ever. Better get my books off of Iraq and get started. First I’ll need my backpack, which is in the living room with my father; can you hand me my book Baghdad? Thanks. Iran home all the way from school on a Kabul stone path and now I’m soaked; Bah! Rain! I thought it was supposed to be Sunni today. And Tabriz made it feel even colder. I tripped and skinned my knee on the way, so now I need some Gaza and neosporin. I passed a financial institution on the occidental side of town; the West Bank. I saw some droppings from a large, deer-like animal; must’ve been Muscat. Yesterday I shah my friend Aviv throw a snowball at a classmate and hit him in the Phalanges [that Lebanese paramilitary group/the bones in your toes]; Egypt [he gipped] him alright. It was a good hit; I have to be sure to Tel Aviv he has good aim. He says he didn’t do it though; he’s in de Nile. My other friend Ku is a really fast runner and always gets ahead of me in races. I have to tell him, Ku! Wait! After homework I think I’ll practice my Qatar. I’m working on some high-pitched blues; Hijaz. I plan to have Moroccos accompany in the background. We’re having Tunis sandwiches for dinner; yuck. But if I wait too long to get downstairs, Medina [my dinner] will be cold. It looks like my mom gave my dad too much soup; now Hizbollah’s full. Tomorrow we’re going to the zoo to see all the Tigris. Yes, I khan stop with the bad jokes now.


38 posted on 03/29/2009 8:27:03 PM PDT by G8 Diplomat (I'm learning Arabic, Farsi, Urdu, Pashtu, and Russian so someday you won't have to)
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To: G8 Diplomat
What did the guy say when he came in from out of the rain and wiped his shoes on a newspaper on the floor?

These are the Times which dry mens' soles.

39 posted on 03/29/2009 8:29:58 PM PDT by 6323cd (Loyal Opposition My Ass)
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To: G8 Diplomat

You’ve got your algebra; I’ve got my geography:

Know you’re up.
So. You think it Spain-ful learning maps? Norway, Jose! Just get together with some of your France, Denmark your maps together, if you want. Italy-ven Sweden up an otherwise sour day! Czech it out!


57 posted on 03/29/2009 9:32:24 PM PDT by Migraine (Diversity is great... ...until it happens to YOU.)
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To: G8 Diplomat
I might have known that was you, G8.

Well done!

1,067 posted on 04/10/2009 4:19:27 PM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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