| Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss" |
 You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you Your flirting style: friendly and sweet What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive |
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(Top five! Woo! and hoo!)
In before 10
WooHoo, top ten.
Thanks for keeping it going.
| Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me" |
 Your heart is open to where ever love takes you! Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking What turns you off: fighting and conflict Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love |
TGIF!
I realize we need the humor . . .
but part of me would drape the thread in black . . .
with big red TREASON lettering spattered across it periodically . . .
because of the treasonous porkulus being passed today.
| Your Candy Heart Says "Cutie Pie" |
 A total charmer, you have a natural appeal that keeps you in high demand. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: multiple dates with multiple people Your flirting style: 100% natural What turns you off: serious relationship talks Why you're hot: you're totally addicting |
| Your Candy Heart Says "BITE ME!" |
 And no need for you to give anything in return - being with you is gift enough. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a first class trip to the bahama's, to fish, ALONE! Your flirting style: Caveman club What turns you off: having to "chase" someone Why you're hot: you're more confident (and arrogant) than a rock star, because you have a right to be! |
A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, ‘Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now, you probably won’t remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, but..... something happened. I’m trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.’
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, ‘You’ve got $10,000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did.....better in fact! However, the thing is, it does not come cheap. It’s $1,000 an inch.’
The man perks up at this. ‘So,’ the doctor says, ‘it’s for you to decide how many inches you want. But it’s something you’d better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a six inch one before, and you decide to go for a ten incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a ten inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a six incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it’s important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.’
The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day. ‘So,’ says the doctor, ‘have you spoken with your wife?’
‘I have,’ says the man.
‘And has she helped you in making the decision?’
‘Yes, she has,’ says the man.
‘And what is it?’ asks the doctor.
‘We’re getting new countertops”
Two Reasons Why It ‘s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder.
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
A blonde calls an airline and asks, ‘Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?’
The agent replies, ‘Just a minute..’
‘Thank you,’ the blonde says, and hangs up.
bump