Posted on 11/02/2008 6:05:09 PM PST by firehat
OBAMA: A SMILING PILE OF GUILE ©
COMING OF AGE IN THE WHITE HOUSE?
by Norman Liebmann
It is apparent that the job of being President isn’t attracting the caliber of people it used to. Having Obama and Biden in the White House will be like waking up on Christmas Morning and finding a couple of hemorrhoids dangling on your Christmas tree.
More and more Barack Obama looks like a pallbearer who can’t wipe that smile off his face. If he becomes President, the first thing he will do is rewrite J. Edgar Hoover’s file on Martin Luther King in order to give it a happy ending. Or would J. Edgar Hoover have considered it already had a happy ending?
Since she lost the nomination to Obama, Hillary has lost much of her political clout. The Senators have stopped taking turns shaving her legs. (Along those lines, the crew of a Navy destroyer has volunteered to tow the U.S. Senate out to sea and scuttle it.)
Forget about the name Acorn and just call it The Obama Afrika Korps. The Acorn vote-pilferers notwithstanding, Obama could win with one slogan - I’m black. You’re black. Nothing else matters. Accordingly, in the interest of accuracy, Barack Obama might consider changing his name to Oblack Obama.
In planning his Inaugural Ceremony, will Obama ask William Ayres to wear his muddiest shoes to wipe on an American flag? In that same spirit, Jeremiah Wright will lead the choir in singing God Damn America. After Obama takes the oath, his Priest buddy, James Pfleger, will spit on the Bible. In anticipation of Obama’s Inauguration Ball, Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein have chipped in for an air drop of Botox. (Madeline Albright who recently endorsed Barack Obama still looks like a fetus in the seventy fifth year of its gestation period.)
Under a President Obama, the new politically correct name for minority groups would be Welfare-Americans. Accordingly, third-term pregnancy fetuses that are terminated will be known by the politically correct designation as Aborted-Americans. Unhappily for the Democrats, terminated fetuses don’t vote - except in Chicago.
We’re told Barack Obama’s brother, George, who lives in a ramshackle hut in Nairobi, is picking out which loincloth to wear to Barack’s Inauguration. Also, it has emerged that Barack’s Aunt Zeituni is in America illegally and is living in a slum in Boston. Could it be it wasn’t a slum before a member of the Obama family moved in? The same thing could happen to the neighborhood around the White House if Aunt Zeituni’s relatives move in.
Some believe the only reason the black population is so solidly for Barack Obama is because his people spread the word around that he is really Apollo Creed. Apparently the Obama Public Relations crew were relying on the popular fiction that all black people look alike.
Despite her apprehensions, Whoopi Goldberg has not been returned to slavery, although it is just possible when she visits the Obama White House she may still have to use the Service Entrance.
By supporting Barack Obama, billionaire Hollywood stars think they are exchanging Paradise for Utopia. Along those lines, a rumor going around Hollywood is that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are consulting a child psychologist about what is the right age to break it to their white children that they are not adopted.
If Obama replaces Bill Clinton as America’s first black President, will Harlem give Bubba twenty-four hours to pack up his condoms and get out?
If Obama wins, Chicago will likely change its name to Husseinville and San Francisco may change its name to Genderbender-by-the-Bay.
Joe Biden has been in the U.S. Senate since 1972 and he still hasn’t got anything right. Biden spent four decades in the Senate in order to become The Second Banana of the Beltway. If by some mischance Joe Biden, self-proclaimed foreign affairs expert, ever became President, it will be clear he never knew a madrassa from a manhole.
Obama is considering another trek to the continent in order to give Europe a second chance to stoke the fires of its contempt for America. (France being the liberal country it is, it’s amazing that they wouldn’t let prisoners off Devil’s Island to vote.)
In honor of Barack Obama, horticulturists are trying to cultivate a black rose. They will call it the Obama Bloomer. It will not only look black but it will smell black. (The Rose Parade would then look like a funeral procession – but not smell as good.)
If Obama is elected President, you may see his staff pitching pennies against the curb on Pennsylvania Avenue.
In a ploy to ingratiate himself further with Mexican-Americans, will Bill Richardson arrive at the Obama Inauguration in a burrocade?
All other logic to explain the relentless affinity between Barack Obama and Bill Ayres having been exhausted, we are left with a choice of treason, a taste for Thunderbird wine, or wife-swapping. Also the ugliness of Jeremiah Wright disqualifies him from participating in any such relationship.
If Obama carries Iowa he will show his gratitude by pushing for legislation that will allow cows to vote. Of course it would be limited only to black cows. (The present formulation inspired by Obama to do everything in a bloc has a name. It is called "racism".)
The Obama campaign has stated Sarah Palin’s only qualification for high office is she’s never had an abortion. (Nancy Pelosi has only to look in the mirror to see the results of a failed terminated pregnancy.)
It is rumored Michelle Obama is writing a book called “Getting Snotty in America”, and is working on her Feminist Manifesto. She is considering calling it The Emasculation Proclamation.
Rahm Emmanuel is being considered to be the next White House Chief-of-Staff, and Sandy Berger is having his pants pockets let out in case he’s needed for another trip to the National Archives. Apparently Obama is scraping together all the leftover Jews from the Clinton Administration.
Obama plans to rid the world of weapons. The inner city would be good place for him to start.
The most frequently asked question Barack Obama gets on the campaign trail is “When did you first notice you were black?” There is still a controversy about Barack Obama’s ethnicity. The latest theory is he is half white and half Idi Amin.
If a candidate can’t be competent he should at least be entertaining - and Obama is about as entertaining as watching soot.
Obama might consider that the reason Russia has no welfare problem is because cotton won’t grow in Siberia.
Barack Obama will be the barometer of how much freedom America’s hoi polloi can be mistrusted with.
The Obama supporters have taken the position that Illegal aliens would not need driver’s licenses if the government would provide these Hispanic border-jumpers with getaway cars.
The New York Times specializes in landfill journalism. The Media is the Obama campaign’s Socialist Propaganda cow and George Soros is its financial teat.
It’s worth noting that “O” stood for Obscene before it stood for Obama.
Is it possible that the Secret Service will have to be re-trained to protect Barack Obama when he has to make a speech in mulatto neighborhoods?
In the interest of a diverse society, Barack Obama wants schools to teach American children to be able to curse in Spanish. Instead of saying “Oh Sh-t” you’ll say “El Sh-t!”
Will the hanging of Sarah Palin hung in effigy in West Hollywood, California portend a rise of sissy lynch mobs?
If Barack Obama ever gets sculpted on Mount Rushmore you can expect it to be of him carrying Charles Barkley piggyback.
The Obama children are black but not adopted as is the fashion among the stars in Hollywood. White children in Hollywood have been moved from indulged to deprived.
The liberal-liberal-liberal wing of the left-leaning Obama brain trust is debating whether prison inmates in the state of California should serve their entire terms. They are not debating the more humane question of whether anybody should be given early release from the state of Arkansas.
The bleeding hearts promise that under an Obama Administration the term "expecting" will refer to welfare recipients – no longer just to pregnant women.
It’s been said, you’re only young once, and once is enough if you do it right. That eliminates Barack Obama.
Obama wants his own domestic National Civilian Security Force. (In Germany it was called the SS.)
Obama threw reporters off his plane because he did not approve of their newspapers’ editorial policies. (It was lucky they weren’t in the air at the time.)
Obama chopped off information to a television station because he didn’t like the questions they asked Joe Biden who couldn’t have answered them anyway.
Obama wants to raise taxes. (You may soon be able to shake hands with Barack Obama by just reaching into your own pocket.)
Obama wants to shut down the coal industry and use the environment as an excuse to skyrocket the cost of energy.
Obama wants to reprogram our educational system in his own image - the Nazis called it The Hitler Youth.
Obama keeps screaming “I will change the world!”
Well, it looks like Der Fuhrer is back in town – only this time he’s a Negro.
C’mon, Sickle Cell Anemia !!!
And this …
Until he ran for election against Democrats, John McCain never thought there were people who would hold his heroism against him.
***
I cannot stand those people.
Guile??? Now THAT'S what I call being diplomatic.
I’ve never heard it called “guile” before, but it smells the same, regardless.
“It is rumored Michelle Obama is writing a book called “Getting Snotty in America”, and is working on her Feminist Manifesto. She is considering calling it The Emasculation Proclamation.”
LOLOLOL!!!
(You may soon be able to shake hands with Barack Obama by just reaching into your own pocket.)
LOL! (many good lines, Norm) Thanks. Good to see you, again, firehat.
I just find it so hard to believe the American people don’t care about the democrat cheating, the hints that Obama leans Muslim, his sketchy past, his radical friends, etc. I think they are on the verge of throwing our country away. Its such a tragedy.
Man up, Becky Sue! It ain’t gonna happen.
And if it does, it won’t last long. An Obama presidency will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, turns the tide, brings a new dawn, etc. :)
Don’t mourn for your country; stand and FIGHT for it, Girl!
Cleopatra
Eleanore of Aquataine
Joan of Arc
Isabella, Queen of Spain
Mary Queen of Scots
Cougar Annie
Molly Pitcher
Maggie Thatcher
They’re no more special than you are; than I am. Conviction is the key. :)
We could add Sarah Palin to that list.
ASMILINGPILEOFGUILE.COM is available!
Sarah Palin’s only qualification for high office is she’s never had an abortion
It is worth noting that this is Obama’s only qualification as well...
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