Posted on 10/08/2008 5:28:43 PM PDT by dubie
Ok. I am pissed off and I need some help from you my fellow freepers. There is a bastard thief steeling my McCain yard signs every night.
For the first week, they held up pretty well. I bought 4 signs from johnmccain.com ($7.00 a piece) because my local republican committee only had 'McCain' signs and I wanted the McCain/Palin signs as I am actually voting FOR Sarah. I did take some of their 'McCain' signs anyway because I was not sure how long it would take for the the ones I ordered to arrive in the mail and I at least wanted something.
When I got home I setup the signs ALL over my property( I live on a very busy highway and my signs gets LOTS of exposure). I also live on a corner lot and two sides of my property have road frontage. The one side is a road that is a dead end and this is where I am having a problem. the busiest side my property close to to the highway has been fine. Only a true idiot would stop there to pull my signs. Those signs have been untouched (this does not mean the person stealing my signs has even an ounce of intelligence, they are just a little brighter than I give them credit for).
My theft story starts two days ago. I was going to get my mail when I noticed my one sign missing and just a bent up metal frame left behind still stuck in the ground. Lucky for me, it was only one of my lamer 'McCain' only signs of which I had 5 and not my coveted 'McCain/Palin' signs that no one can get. Since the first sign I initially put up was ok in this spot, I thought that perhaps the wind blew the plastic sign off the top and my lawn mower guy perhaps hit it so I just replaced it. My wife also said she saw some plastic blowing across the street so I just chalked it up as whatever.
Having a bare spot on my lawn with no McCain sign had me disturbed so I then marched into my house and fielded a replacement. I firmly pushed the posts into the ground and made sure it was snug. In the back of my mind I had a small feeling the first one was stolen but I thought to myself I have more sings no big deal perhaps it was not stolen just put up another sign.
Next day, sure enough my theft suspicions were confirmed when I was leaving for work and happened to look to where I placed the sign the day before as I was pulling out of my driveway for work. I proceeded onto the not so busy street while rubber necking to the new bare spot on my lawn with no sign... I saw the same bent up frame with the plastic sign part missing. The frame looked as if someone tried to quickly yank it up out of the ground from the top middle and bent the frame upward but only got the plastic part leaving this arch in the fame and it was still snug in the ground naked and devoid of the most important piece... the McCain plastic cover!
I was running late so I could not replace it. Being on a busy road, someone from McCain campaign must have been by that morning before I left for work as two new signs popped up that were 'McCain/Palin' and were closer to the stop sign. There were two other skeleton metal frames across the street. It seems someone stuck in 3 signs and that fast, mine and two others were taken but one survived. This allowed me to settle my brain because there was still at least one sign there even though it was not mine and it kept my bare spot from being so noticeable. =)
At work, as I reflected on what was happening to my signs, I decided I would try to get the bastard who is doing this since this happened two nights in a row it will happen again tonight in the same fashion. So on my way home from work I stopped at the grocery and bought two big containers of Vaseline (actually cheap store brand petroleum jelly) as I figured I could coat the edges of the sign liberally with jelly so the person stealing would get a sticky mess the next time they attempted to grab the sign in the middle of the night.
I'm actually getting a warm feeling in my heart right now as I write this because of what I did to those signs and of what will perhaps happen tonight to the perp when they go to grab my signs... This is what I did to them...
First, I grabbed the jelly (I have no rubber gloves so I used saran wrap) and went to the street and coated the edges of the sign that was not mine.
Then I went back in the house to assemble one of the signs that just arrived in the box from johnmccain.com that I paid $7.00 for.
Then Once the sign was assembled I took it out and put it in the EXACT same location the first two were stolen from and went back in for my jelly and saran wrap to do the deed. 
I then gobbed and gooped the jelly all over the edges making sure to get every part of the sign.
With the deen done, I snapped my picture and headed back into my house with an overwhelming sense of glee. =) 
What you need is a couple of these:
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=9192954
Get photos, then post everywhere.
I’d be tempted to sit outside with my gun.
Rub poison ivy all over them. if that doesn’t work, take a day off work and watch them day and night out of sight with your shot gun.
You need to put the hottest chile powder you can find in the vaseline. Then when the perp wipes his eyes or takes a leak...Whoa!!!!
Buy a deer-cam
OMG! I had the same thought with my stolen McCalin/Palin signs - Vaseline!
I would definitely sit outside with my gun. The hunt is half the fun.
Glue razor blades all along the edge. Or, post another sign close by saying tresspassers will be shot on sight.
Mix something that really stains skin with the vasoline.
How about Pepper Spay?? Spray the signs down real well the person in your neighborhood with puffy weepy eyes is your suspect. Or Doe scent? LOL Spray that stuff all over the sign. If all else fails there’s always Doggy Doo!! I would be meaner than that though......But I don’t want to give away any of my tricks...My McCain/Palin signs will be stolen at the thieves own RISK! LOL
Try tying some cans to a string and tie to the sign, then cover the string with leaves. It should make enough of a racket to alert you.
Your lawn may get a bit damaged but it will grow back.
or some kind of deer scent ,skunk scent, something that smells really bad in the vaseline
Chile powder - I also thought of that too. I feel so warm and cozy inside among my brethren.
Are you or do you know an electrical engineer? Shock therapy is in order.
I think it is a crime to have those signs stolen. So you can use the photos to bring charges against this knucklehead.
Gettin our first sign tomorrow.Dare anyone to deface it.
Shotgun blast recording with trip lights and camera flashes going off,Would make a good picture.
A Candid Camera type of moment.
Those types sicken me,plus you could kick their butts with one arm tied behind your back , standing on one leg.
I want to meet one.
Oh yeah, walk your neigborhood with a pooper scooper and put it all around the sign. Or you could put broken glass all around it.
I have plenty of McCain signs. If you lived closer I’d send you some. The other day I was in the fast food lane and a lady asked where she could get some signs. I gave her some bumper stickers and gave her the address. Looks like your signs are in demand. lol Most of the offices should have signs now. We got in a bunch last week.
Vasiline,then poop surrounding your sign.
My mailbox got plastered with white bread and mayonaise
Yeah, that was fun....
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