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Admit it, you're as bored as I am
The Guardian ^ | Wednesday July 9, 2008 | Joe Queenan

Posted on 07/19/2008 6:07:08 AM PDT by Borges

After 40 years and 1,500 concerts, Joe Queenan is finally ready to say the unsayable: new classical music is absolute torture - and its fans have no reason to be so smug.

During a radio interview between acts at the Metropolitan Opera in New York, a famous singer recently said she could not understand why audiences were so reluctant to listen to new music, given that they were more than ready to attend sporting events whose outcome was uncertain. It was a daft analogy. Having spent most of the last century writing music few people were expected to understand, much less enjoy, the high priests of music were now portrayed as innocent victims of the public's lack of imagination. If they don't know in advance whether Nadal or Federer is going to win, but still love Wimbledon, why don't they enjoy it when an enraged percussionist plays a series of brutal, fragmented chords on his electric marimba? What's wrong with them?

The reason the sports analogy fails is because when Spain plays Germany, everyone knows that the game will be played with one ball, not eight; and that the final score will be 1-0 or 3-2 or even 8-1 - but definitely not 1,600,758 to Arf-Arf the Chalet Ate My Banana. The public may not know in advance what the score will be, but it at least understands the rules of the game. There is no denying that the people filling the great concert halls of the world are conservative, and in many cases reactionary: reluctant to take a flyer on music that wasn't recorded at least once by Toscanini. They know what they like and what they like is Mozart.

(Excerpt) Read more at music.guardian.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Music/Entertainment
KEYWORDS: joequeenan; music
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1 posted on 07/19/2008 6:07:09 AM PDT by Borges
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To: Borges
why don't they enjoy it when an enraged percussionist plays a series of brutal, fragmented chords on his electric marimba?

Describes most of today's music, movies, TV (including news, commercials & prime time), metaphorically speaking.

2 posted on 07/19/2008 6:10:22 AM PDT by P.O.E. (Thank God for every morning.)
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To: .30Carbine; 1rudeboy; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 31R1O; ADemocratNoMore; afraidfortherepublic; Andyman; ...

Classical Music PING


3 posted on 07/19/2008 6:14:16 AM PDT by Borges
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To: P.O.E.

It’s the special olympics of music.


4 posted on 07/19/2008 6:15:50 AM PDT by shineon
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To: Borges

I agree. I’ve walked out on or fallen asleep during modern classical music concerts. They are not music. They are noise in the same way as Miles Davis’ fusion jazz movement. I’ll take Mozart any day.


5 posted on 07/19/2008 6:20:00 AM PDT by Daveinyork
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To: Borges
After 40 years and 1,500 concerts, Joe Queenan is finally ready to say the unsayable: new classical music is absolute torture - and its fans have no reason to be so smug.

Joe Queenan has his "emperor has no clothes" moment.

6 posted on 07/19/2008 6:21:41 AM PDT by Steely Tom (Without the second, the rest are just politicians' BS.)
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To: Borges

This is quite a good and funny article. Sample quote about a modern classical music piece composed around the theme of interfacing with water sandwiched between a couple of old chestnuts:

“It [the modern piece] was bloated but thoroughly harmless, and the audience responded warmly; nothing thrills a classical music crowd more than a new piece of music that doesn’t make them physically ill. But the concert underscored the problem in including new work on the same programme as the old chestnuts: it is not just asking striplings to compete with titans; it is asking obscure, academically trained liquid interfacers to compete with titans at the top of their game. As the saying goes: you don’t send a boy to do Franz Liszt’s job.”


7 posted on 07/19/2008 6:32:17 AM PDT by ModelBreaker
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To: Borges

The true modern version of classical music is to be found in movie soundtracks. Composers such as John Barry, Lalo Schifrin, Basil Poledouris, and Jerry Goldsmith to name a few.


8 posted on 07/19/2008 6:35:30 AM PDT by tlb
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To: shineon

“It’s the special olympics of music.”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Alas, it seems to be the special olympics of life in general. We have the most pathetic candidates imaginable running for president, movies so awful that I hardly ever want to watch one anymore, even young people seem to listen to the pop music from forty or fifty years ago rather than what is current. So-called journalists appear to be at best only vaguely acquainted with the English language. Television programs represented as “Science” reporting spread disinformation about climate change. The medical profession moves the goalposts on cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugar in an apparent move to ensure that every American is prescribed chronic medication at the earliest possible age and kept on medication for life.


9 posted on 07/19/2008 6:37:24 AM PDT by RipSawyer (What's black and white and red all over? Barack Hussein Obama)
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To: tlb
The true modern version of classical music is to be found in movie soundtracks.

I agree. I've heard many soundtracks that contained what could have been the core of a concerto or symphony, or at least a prelude.

10 posted on 07/19/2008 6:40:55 AM PDT by jimtorr
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To: tlb

I agree wholeheartedly as well. John Williams and Howard Shore leap to my mind. These modern “classical artists” can’t hold a candle to the any of the movie music composers mentioned here. From Victory at Sea to Star Wars to ET to Lord of the Rings to Star Trek to Patton, they have compiled an astonishing libretto of works that will stand the test of time.


11 posted on 07/19/2008 7:02:12 AM PDT by Reaganesque
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To: Borges
An example of "torture"...

KuKaIlimoku

Farewell Hero

Ugh...
12 posted on 07/19/2008 7:05:52 AM PDT by Coffee200am ("We should all be living in mud huts and riding bicycles to avoid killing the polar bears..."/s)
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To: Borges

new classical music is absolute torture
++++++++++++++
It’s also insulting as is so much of “modern” is. Standards are lowered or discarded completely and the resulting art is called “modern”. It’s true of all art these days, music included. I don’t even attend events showcasing anything modern anymore.


13 posted on 07/19/2008 7:06:13 AM PDT by Joan Kerrey
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To: Reaganesque

The implication being that the best modern music is an imitation of 19th century Romanticism?


14 posted on 07/19/2008 7:06:34 AM PDT by Borges
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To: Borges

I would say that modern movie music has some of its roots there. Just as some of the original classical masters were influenced by each other or the way that the Beatles influenced many, many rock bands that came after them. Just because one is influenced by someone who came before, doesn’t mean his or her work is un-original. Movie music is the venue that most closely upholds the traditions of the classical music of old.


15 posted on 07/19/2008 7:16:34 AM PDT by Reaganesque
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To: Joan Kerrey

Your comment reminds me of something I saw on the Muppet Show. Gonzo the Great’s Rock Band; which consisted of him standing on stage, surrounded by rocks, screaming “ART! ART! ART!” while banging on a drum or a gong. Very funny and all too true.


16 posted on 07/19/2008 7:19:56 AM PDT by Reaganesque
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To: Reaganesque

My local classical music station does a program on Saturday mornings called “Classics from the Movies” (or something like that) and all they play is instrumental pieces from various soundtracks.
Some movies instantly recognizable (such as John William’s Star Wars) others not so much...but ALL beautiful, intricate, well-crafted works that as you say will “stand the test of time.”

LOL...one of the most enjoyable parts of this program is listening to the announcer (typical somber, intellectual, classical-music-type voice) detailing the composer’s name, the orchestra involved and noting “the piece is from the soundtrack of ‘Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure’.”


17 posted on 07/19/2008 7:20:54 AM PDT by CarolTX (Onward through the fog)
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To: Borges
Even when the public embraces the new, what it is really looking for is the old.

I happen to believe this philosophy is true in far more fields than classical music. Thanks for this absorbing read.

18 posted on 07/19/2008 7:22:01 AM PDT by Colonel_Flagg ("We are the people." - Psalm 95:7)
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To: Borges

Getting captivated by modern music leads to Stockhausen Syndrome.


19 posted on 07/19/2008 7:45:30 AM PDT by Erasmus (I invited Benoit Mandelbrot to the Shoreline Grill, but he never quite made it.)
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To: Borges
At last, a writer puts into words exactly what I've been thinking for decades.

I've had a theory which I call the "Art of the Ugly". In my mind, this "art" started in the 30's with the newly-aggressive manifistations of ugly socialism, communism and fascism throughout the world. For some psychological reason, I suppose, much art also began to be uglified, cynical, negative and nihilistic.....and it continues to this day.

Too many paintings, sculpture, music, poetry, architecture, modern dance, playwrighting, movies, popular music, literature, you name it, became uglified, coarse, incomprensible, distorted, laden with outright or implied sex/profanity, anti-religious, untalented/undisciplined, or consisted of outright con-artistry like framed blank canvasses or random paint splatters sold for millions of dollars.

Even toddlers were not spared with the creation of uglified dolls with mashed-in distorted faces.....and now a Barbie Doll dressed in sado/masochistic clothing.

One safe haven from the heavy breath of ugliness assaulting our senses has always been listening to beautiful classical music. I suppose the uglification of America makes us afficionados cling to it even more.

I afforded modern atonal music a try even though I knew I would never like it. I never did. I guess I gave it a go because if I didn't, I would be called a "racist"....oops, scratch that....... I meant, I would be called "old-fashioned" and "closed-minded".

Well, just call me "Methuselah-ette", pour me some nice Merlot........and play me some dreamy Chopin!

Leni

20 posted on 07/19/2008 7:49:46 AM PDT by MinuteGal (Stay Home or vote Barr for Obamination, more Taxation, Regulation, Litigation and Ginzburgization)
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