June 24, 2008

Graphic by MamaBear

"The dog is man's best friend.
He has a tail on one end.
Up in front he has teeth.
And four legs underneath."
~~ Ogden Nash

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail."
~~ Henry Wheeler Shaw

"The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic."
~~ Henry Ward Beecher

"Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog.
Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh!
There's so little hope for advancement."
~~ Snoopy

"No matter how little money and how few possesions you own,
having a dog makes you rich."
~~ Louis Sabin

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you;
that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
~~ Mark Twain

"I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons."
~~ Will Rogers

"Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job."
~~ Franklin P Jones

"No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog,
he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has."
~~ Will Rogers

"The difference between cats and dogs is, dogs come when they are called,
cats take a message and get back to you."
~~ Unknown

"When a man's dog turns against him,
it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma."
~~ Mark Twain

"I'd rather have an inch of a dog than miles of pedigree."
~~ Dana Burnet

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler: Make me.

5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."

12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:

"How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!

Happy Tuesday To Amy's Place

Thanks for the ping, Amy. Everyone will enjoy FReeper kanawa’s homepage...(from it)...

Some food for thought. I came by this on a Labrador board.....

Ten Commandments for a Responsible Dog Owner

1. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. Any separation from you will be very painful to me.
2.Give me time to understand what you want of me.
3.Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my wellbeing that you rely on me as I know I can rely on you.
4.Don’t be angry with me for long, and don’t lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment. I only have you!
5.Talk to me. Even if I don’t understand your words, I understand your voice when it is speaking to me.
6.Be aware that however you treat me, I’ll NEVER forget it.
7.Before you hit me, remember that I have teeth that could easily crush the bones in your hand, but I choose NOT to bite you.
8.Before you scold me for being lazy or unco-operative, ask yourself if something may be bothering me. Perhaps I’m not getting the right food, I’ve been out in the sun too long, or my heart may be getting old and weak.
9.Take care of me when I get old. You, too, will grow old.
10. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say “I can’t bear to watch it” or “Let it happen in my absence”. Everything is easier for ME if you are there. Remember, I love you.

(More)...here...

http://www.freerepublic.com/~kanawa/

Beau

By Jimmy Stewart
1908-1997
[Beloved Actor, WWII Veteran, Humanitarian]

He never came to me when I would call
Unless I had a tennis ball,
Or he felt like it,
But mostly he didn't come at all.

When he was young
He never learned to heel
Or sit or stay,
He did things his way.

Discipline was not his bag
But when you were with him things sure didn't drag.
He'd dig up a rosebush just to spite me,
And when I'd grab him, he'd turn and bite me.

He bit lots of folks from day to day,
The delivery boy was his favorite prey.
The gas man wouldn't read our meter,
He said we owned a real man-eater.

He set the house on fire
But the story's long to tell.
Suffice it to say that he survived
And the house survived as well.

On the evening walks, and Gloria took him,
He was always first out the door.
The Old One and I brought up the rear
Because our bones were sore.

He would charge up the street with Mom hanging on,
What a beautiful pair they were!
And if it was still light and the tourists were out,
They created a bit of a stir.

But every once in a while, he would stop in his tracks
And with a frown on his face look around.
It was just to make sure that the Old One was there
And would follow him where he was bound.

We are early-to-bedders at our house--
I guess I'm the first to retire.
And as I'd leave the room he'd look at me
And get up from his place by the fire.

He knew where the tennis balls were upstairs,
And I'd give him one for a while.
He would push it under the bed with his nose
And I'd fish it out with a smile.

And before very long
He'd tire of the ball
And be asleep in his corner
In no time at all.

And there were nights when I'd feel him
Climb upon our bed
And lie between us,
And I'd pat his head.

And there were nights when I'd feel this stare
And I'd wake up and he'd be sitting there
And I'd reach out my hand and stroke his hair.
And sometimes I'd feel him sigh
and I think I know the reason why.

He would wake up at night
And he would have this fear
Of the dark, of life, of lots of things,
And he'd be glad to have me near.

And now he's dead.
And there are nights when I think I feel him
Climb upon our bed and lie between us,
And I pat his head.

And there are nights when I think
I feel that stare
And I reach out my hand to stroke his hair,
But he's not there.

Oh, how I wish that wasn't so,
I'll always love a dog named Beau.

[From Jimmy Stewart and His Poems, 1989]

I watched him read Beau on the Johnny Carson show and now you can, too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUNJjIwlHk8

I keep getting a message that the server isn't working, hmmm...

Anyway, hello, I hope you are well. I wanted to post information about $5 Bibles that can be purchased and sent to the troops for free, but I wanted to know which forum you suggest for posting it (if I CAN post it!)? I don't work for them, I just shop there and thought others might want to participate.

LifeWay Christian Stores is selling an NLT Bible (old and new testament) for $4.99 with 3 blank pages in the front for you to write a message. They will ship it to the troops for free.

http://www.lifewaystores.com/lwstore/ow.asp

Here are their store locations...

http://www.lifewaystores.com/lwstore/st_loc.asp?

Beau

By Jimmy Stewart 1908-1997[Beloved Actor, WWII Veteran, Humanitarian]

By Jimmy Stewart
1908-1997
[Beloved Actor, WWII Veteran, Humanitarian]