Commercial-grade sausage grinders come in handy
Posted on 04/23/2008 9:56:59 AM PDT by Lazamataz
Well I want a woman with children. I want to find my role as a father.
8^) Thought that goes w/o saying....
Good for you! I'm celebrating my 13th anniversary today (19 years altogether) and we raised two woundeful boys (they were 9 & 14 when we met) who are now fime outstanding young men both married. We also enjoy 3 beautitul grand-children who are the the center of our universe! 8^)
LOL!
Hang in there!
And no presents for you either.
We were “happily” married for 15 years before she lowered the boom on me. No crack and crap like that, though.
Met the current Mrs. Jazzy three months after the divorce was final.
The current Mrs. Jazzy (working on year number 14 with her!)is most DEFINTITELY a keeper. People look at her, then they look at me and figure out that I MUST be a stallion in the sack for her to keep a around!
She digs my hairy chest, too.
(they are right, of course!)
OooRah!
Not the time or place for preaching.
“What happens when the woman of your dreams is a nightmare?”
Usually divorce if you found out too late.
“She’s dangerously insane. I will never consider being with her for a minute. I cannot believe I almost married this nutcase. I need better discernment.”
I’d be saying prayers of thanks to the Almighty for weeks.
As bad as it feels now, you dodged a major bullet. All I can suggest is to go to local humane society, and find a friend who will love you forever.
Well....I just finished paying off my X’s credit card debts that she stuck me with ($27K).
My mother remarried when I was 9 and my brother 6. Neither of our bio-donors was worth a damn. Never around and in my brothers’ case his was always in prison (mom had issues when she was younger) but I digress. My step-dad was excellent. He was and remains “Dad.” He taught me what a man IS and what a man is NOT. Without him I shudder to think of the kind of father that I would have been to my kids, or the pitiful excuse for men that my brother and I would be today. I love that man. When I think of the word Dad, that is the picture in my head, not the bio-donor that I saw maybe 5 times growing up. Without Dad, I would not have the relationship with Christ that I do today....I simply would have no point of reference. Not that boys growing up in fatherless homes never become good Christian men (I know a couple that have gone on to become Pastors and I stand in awe listening to them) but I believe that the statistics are on my side on this.
You and she will both be in my prayers.
We're here for you, FRiend.
I would offer helpful advice, dude, but I didn’t read the thread...
But, seriesly, you should consider the possibility that she was a cocaine user when you met her and was going through one of her better periods when you saw her at her best.
As I’m sure you know, Cocaine users can be very charming and very appealing, especially when they are not using too much. But it can all fall apart very quickly when they start to get out of control. In my experience, I regret most of all the money I gave to a cocaine user I knew, because I thought I was helping and was too naive to realize I was feeding an addiction.
From your description, you should also consider the possibility that Meth might be part of the problem.
Does she have any relatives who can step in and take over responsibility for the child?
Exactly why I, as a divorced mom of twins, decided to not date or remarry until my girls were grown and on their own. I didn’t want that whole “blended” family scene. I didn’t want to have to choose everyday between a new spouse and my girls in every situation. I also didn’t want anyone interfering in how I raised them. I think my girls turned out the better for it.
I’m sorry to hear this Laz, but I’m glad you didn’t make the big mistake of marrying her. I will keep you in my prayers. You have many friends here.
Funny how people want to paint with such a broad brush, isn’t it?? Some people are alone due to that very fact. Women are not all the same, not even single moms. I was a very responsible, devoted single mom and I refuse to be lumped together with the large segment of shallow, empty-headed, greedy, need a man - any man women out there.
I’m a dream and nightmare, all at the same time....LOL!
Seriously Laz, been there, done that, [except his “addiction” was -really- perverted porn] had the living hell beat out of me for 10 years but then got myself the best man in the world after the horror show was finally over.
Stop *looking* and let her find you.
God will literally drop “Miss Right” into your lap some day.
That’s how Mr Right found me.
We’re all here for you, always.
Too, I had my problems. I was beginning to become judgemental about her. I wasn't accepting who she was, but who I wanted her to be. She was judgemental and controlling in return.
I noticed she had a huge low self-esteem, and I also have been cursed with that -- although I am working on myself, diligently.
My strong suspicion is that she's been having problems with drugs and difficulty with coping with life for a long time -- it's just that she was able to mask it from you for a while. I don't think she woke up one day from a drug-free life and decided to become a crackhead.
It's unlikely that a complete innocent decides to bear the child of a crackhead chronic felon
I'm also going to guess that you were effusive in your telling her how wonderful she was
So there she is, with a past that she hasn't fully revealed to you, wondering at what point you will find out, having low self-esteem and thinking she had every reason to have low self esteem because of all the things she's done. She realizes that there's no way she's not going to eventually betray you and shatter your illusions.
Finally, she cracks. It was good that she cracked before you married her, rather than after
The problem with going through life is that few of us are who we appear to be. Sometimes the differences between the self and the public persona are small and sometimes they are large
Many years ago, an ex girlfriend of mine hooked up with Mr Wonderful. We were still friends, and she would tell me about the great guy she was about to marry, a highly paid software consultant, handsome, well dressed. Things looked good for her until the cops came to visit. Mr Wonderful was actually making his living as a con man and writer of bad checks. She was devastated. He came over later that day, she confronted him, he freaked out over having his secret life exposed, and he murdered her
Commercial-grade sausage grinders come in handy
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