Amy's Place ... Poetry and Potpourri ... April, 2008

JustAmy; St.Louie1; MamaBear; Billie

[JustAmy]

Welcome To....


'Amy's Place' welcomes all poets
and those who enjoy poetry.
'Amy's Place' is more than just about poetry.
Come in, relax, and share with fellow FReepers
your thoughts about any of the things on the *Menu*.

Enjoy! :)











Never Forget!





Bad Penny



Amy's personal guardian ~
the ever charming, lovable, huggable,
LouieWolf




Many thanks for stopping by. : )

[OESY]

Say, did you hear the one about the Judge and the Defendant in court?

Judge: "Young man, it says here you shot and killed a California Condor. How do you plead?"

Defendant: "Guilty your honor."

Judge: "GUILTY!? Don't you know how endangered these condors are? There are hardly any left at all."

Defendant: "Yes sir, I know, but I had to feed my family, we're so poor."

Judge: "That's no excuse. I fine you 30 days in jail. By the way, what does California Condor taste like?"

Defendant: "It's real good, kinda like a cross between Bald Eagle and Whooping Crane!"

.

[OESY]

Ok, so that was pretty bad. How about this one?

This guy in a station wagon is riding down the road with the back full of penguins, about six.

A cop sees him and pulls him over and asks, "What are you doing with all those penguins?"

The guy says, "I won them in a contest. Frankly, I don't know what to do with them."

Sternly, the cop says, “I want you to take those penguins to the zoo right now!”

The guy says, “O.K.”

Next day the cop sees this same guy going down the road with the penguins in the back. This time the penguins are wearing sunglasses.

He pulls the guy over again and says, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”

The guy answers, “I did. It was fabulous! They loved it. Today, we're going to the beach!”

.

[yorkie]

ROTF!

Here’s the famous dancing bird. He’s got more rhythm than I could ever hope to have!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=geAWmDCWYXQ

[OESY]

"Good afternoon and welcome to Flight 345, service to Los Angeles International Airport. We appreciate your full attention to this important safety announcement. This bird is equipped with two emergency exits, one in the front and one in the rear. Be sure to identify the nearest exit to you, which may be behind you. If this bird should lose pressure, an oxygen mask will drop from the compartment above you. Reach up, pull down on the mask until the tubing is fully extended. Place the mask over your nose and mouth, secure it with the elastic band and breathe normally.

"Passenger seat cushions may be used as a flotation device and detailed instructions may be found on the safety information card in the seat pocket in front of you. Smoking is not permitted at any time while on board. Also, federal law prohibits tampering, disabling, or destroying these detectors in the lavatories. Your compliance with all crew member instructions, all placards, and lighted seat belt and no smoking signs is required."




Yamil Saenz


Two hours later: "The captain has advised that we will be landing shortly. In preparation for landing, the following electronic devices must be in the off position and stowed: portable compact disk players, portable computers, and cellular phones. Now please fasten your seatbelt, return your seatback and tray tables to the full upright and locked position. Your carry-on luggage must be stowed in the overhead compartments or underneath the seat in front of you. On behalf of your flight crew, we'd like to thank you for selecting us today. We hope you enjoyed your flight."

.

[Lady Jag]

Chicken Literacy
Beware of chickens in public libraries...
 

A pair of chickens walk into a public library, find the librarian and say, “Buk Buk BUK.” The librarian decides that the chickens want three books, and promptly gives them some. Without further ado, the chickens walk out.

Around midday, the two chickens are back and looking quite annoyed. One leans over to the librarian and says, “Buk Buk BuKKOOK!” The librarian decides that the chickens want another three books and promptly gives them some more. The chickens leave as before.

About an hour later the two birds march back in, approach the librarian, looking very angry now and nearly shouting, “Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!”

The librarian is now starting to get worried about where all her stock is going. She decides to give them more books but also to follow them and find out what's happening.

She followed them out of the library, out of town, and into to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen.

She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was kept repeating, “Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit...”

 

[OESY]

That's got to be as bad as any of mine. LOL!

.

[OESY]

LOL! On the dance floor, I think I have many of the same moves. My wife tells me to settle down.

.

[Lady Jag]

Bad jokes are my specialty.

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?


If it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.

[OESY]

Three birds were walking down the street. Two walked into a bar, the other one ducked!

.

[yorkie]

[yorkie]

COURTEOUS PARROT

A lady is walking down the street to work and sees a parrot in a pet store. She stops to admire the bird.

The parrot says to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She storms past the store to her work.

On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot upon seeing her says, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” She was incredibly ticked now.

The next day on the way to work she saw the same parrot and once again it said, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” The lady was so furious that she stormed into the store and threatened to sue the store and have the bird killed. The store manager apologized profusely and promised the bird wouldn’t say it again.

The next day, when the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, “Hey lady.” She paused, scowled with an icy and deadly stare, and said with a hoarse voice, “Yes?” The bird, strutting back and forth on its perch in a cocky manner, said, “You know.”

[OESY]

Question: What does a 1,000 lb. parrot say?

Answer: Here kitty, kitty, kitty!

.

[Lady Jag]

Did you ever notice that when ducks migrate in their Vee formation, one side of the line is longer than the other? Know why that is? There's more ducks in it

[OESY]

No, I really never noticed before.




Yamil Saenz

.

[MEG33]

Australian Fairy Wren

Happy International Bird Day!
~

[JustAmy]

Marissa says "Happy International Bird Day"

[MEG33]

Gone Fishing

[JustAmy]

Kitty Mittens, It is exciting to see the beginning of so many bird families.
Later we will have several finches on our patio.
They come back and use any nests that were not knocked down.

Have a Terrific International Bird Day!

[MEG33]

Very nice Hummingbird drawing, Marissa!

[OESY]

Hi Marissa!

.