Ugh, you had to mention Mr. Beepy, didn’t you?
You could always find a roommate on Craigslist...
Most of the ones on there right now are kooky, though. Like this one:
I am looking for another dependable, settled person to live with me. Male is preferred, but I’m open. I suspect you wear fall colors, and leave a small footprint. Please indulge in minimal drug use and be willing to invest in the household’s well-being (including helping buy birdseed).