Thanks for your prayers and good thoughts. I didn’t “get there” today, but hope to, tomorrow.
Had to go put money in the bank, so I’d have a home to come back to if I have to go spend time in a hospital. Came back from that and collapsed after so many worried hours looking at black flesh.
Woke up 8 hours later (a long time of sleeping, for me) and looked at my hands, which felt like they were on fire, and it *looked* like everything had gone away! Just some slightly pink skin, no redness, no blackness, no purple.
However, within a few minutes of being up and around, it all came back, along with some swelling. Still burning feelings now, which are new.
I wanted to cook up and then freeze some of the just-bought food that’s in the fridge, so I wouldn’t come home to a bunch of rotten stuff in a week or a month or however long. Plus, want to write up some instructions to whoever might be sent into my apt if I die in the hospital - to tell them where my various papers and all my belongings are in storage and where the keys are.
Also make sure I have an Anna-type will telling who I *DON’T* want to get my things. (The people who left me to die 4 years ago and wouldn’t help me.)
Then tomorrow, I will have a clearer mind to set out on the dreaded path of medical expenses that will take away my tiny income. Then, there won’t be much of me left.
I’m not overstating (I tend to be a minimalist, actually) it when I tell y’all I’m scared out of my wits. Thank goodness for a FReeper who has been so kind to me this year and is a good, good FRiend who let me vent by phone this morning and evening for several hours.
God bless all of y’all. I don’t know what the future will bring, but at least I’m spiritually prepared - thanks so much, everybody! Have a nice Dia de los Muertos and think of all those who have gone before us.
{{{Huggss}}}
Try not to worry...the stress won't help you at all, and it can make things a lot worse. Stress has probably contributed to your breakouts. There are many new drugs on the market, and I feel like they'll give you an antibiotic for the infection and something for the pain. If the infection is serious, they may want to give you the antibiotic intravenously so it will act faster. Please don't refuse because of the cost. You're more important than money! If the doctor gives you any static about treating you because you lack cash; tell him you're an illegal immigrant! Just kidding, I wouldn't want you to do anything dishonest. Let us hear from you as soon as you can, okay? I know I speak for many of us here when I say we do care about you very much! We need your talent for research too! Take care and God bless you.
Well, OMG!
Please don’t change your mind tomorrow (actually, today). You have so many people here worrying about you, and willing you to go get your hands taken care of.
Good luck to you, and heal quickly!
Don't worry about paying! They have to accept what you can afford to pay a month. You can even pay $5 a month to doctor and $5 a month to hospital; they might growl but they can't do anything and they might cut your bill down. As long as you're paying even a little bit, it'll be ok. At least that's how it is in Oklahoma.
I know you're scared but each hour you wait you risk more damage.
Prayers your way!
You'll be fine but you gotta do what you gotta do and that means "get to a doctor".
We're all thinking of you....Sac
Hey Rte...I just bought a new-used car (my old one was 12 years old). I now have 5 years to pay this one off. I had to change my “pessimistic” thinking because I’m now looking forward to making that last payment!! I’ll be 70!! Oh, cr**.
They are going to help you .I can just feel it.Wish you were closer.
Keeps us posted. We here care.