My thread that has my story is here...
If You Suspect You Might Have A Drinking Problem (An Open Letter)
A few other links:
Judge says alcoholism no disease
No Hangovers for Two Years!
Recovering Freeper In Need
Congrats on your anniversary! You are an inspiration to many.
Are you willing to go any length?
I'd start 'em off with a line from a little-known Grant Lee Buffalo song:
Oh it kills me to think
That I'm no longer living, just looking for excuses to drink...
And then tell them there are a lot of people out there who would be more than glad to get you to start living again. But they can't do squat until the choice is made by the person in question to want to live. Because addiction is, at the end of the day, a slow suicide.
Congratulations on your anniversary. Each day sober is a blessing to you, your loved ones and co-workers.
I think if anyone asked me, I’d emphasize the ‘one day at a time’ aspect of the AA program. It’s too hard to look to the long, indefinite future without your booze/drugs, whatever your dependency is. But in bite-sizes, like one day at a time, most people can do it.
Some years ago I heard a story of 3 AA’s getting together for lunch. One asked how long each had been sober. One said 15 years, the other 10. They then asked the questioner .. how long have YOU been sober and s/he said ‘since I got up this morning.’ Even after many years of AA, for many it’s still just that one day.
Accept the fact that you will not be able to hang with your drinking buddies, like you used to do. If you think you can, you can not be serious about changing.
What I later realized was, I was only putting off my problems, therefore compounding them. Now, whenever I get the urge to drink, I bring up the image of myself looking into the mirror, and saying “no more”. I don’t want to let myself down. I also turned to god, and asked him for help and support.
It don’t matter how you color, carbonate or flavor it, Alcohol is poison to the body. Although some drugs may not work like poison, they are a poison to the way a brain operates.
In a nut shell, I watched my brother on hard liquor, stumbling, bumbling, drunk. It was enough that I never want to have anyone see me like that. Feb to Oct, he was most in jail(2 dui’s), 2 treatments, home detention, I was renting from him, and was probably the only thing that saved him from losing his house.
10yrs sober, at 32 I quit cold turkey, and it has been the best decision I have ever made, no dui’s, hang-overs, brain damage, or liver failure, ect.
My sobriety date is 11/11/06 so I am quite new at this.
For me, there was, and had to be a crisis point - a bottom, if you will. For me, that did not involve immediate homlessness / bankruptcy / prison / death. But, I had to realize and understand that those scenarios were indeed possible if my existing behavior continued.
I was also a happy, congenial, hale fellow well met, when I was in my cups. I held down a good job; got excellent reviews and promotions.
I also had (and have) a truckload of character flaws and emotional issues that I dealt with by applying the anesthesia of ethyl alcohol.
My bottom was facing the loss of my job, due to drinking on the job. By the grace of God, my employer allowed me a final chance to get my act together. I seized that opportunity with the desparation of the dying, as our literature tells us we must have.
I initially reached out to this board and this group.
I was directed to AA and I went. From the very first meeting, I began to understand the nature of the battle. I was told that I did not have to drink and I could not drink “one day ay a time.”
I had to begin to learn humility and acceptance of reality. And that is a daily thing.
Coming up on 22 years next month...
A special BUMP to you for having to cojones to write so openly about this.
Or to quit drugging, apparently. A young-charge demonstrated something new to me recently. And I was particularly skeptical, having seen so many “new” experiments” fail when we know “rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed this simple” program.
So, I have a special “niche” message to all those out there in chronic, intractable pain and who have become opioid-dependent. Like every compulsion, “if you’re ready” and you’re dread of withdrawal is making drug-seeking (usually having more than a few doctors on your payroll) crowd out more than about 40 percent of your life, than check out naabi.org . I’m monitoring a success story right now, and after watching literally hundreds of heroin and vico/oxy addicts go through physiological withdrawal, I’m feeling like I’m watching an episode of Star Trek.
It works if you work it, and Bill and Bob were pretty revolutionary in their time, too. Dipsomania used to be a death sentence.
Holding on to any possible excuse to drink again will get you drunk.
Sponsor - "You don't have to go to meetings. You can stay drunk. You only have to go until you want to go. Here's how it works. Rarely have we seen a person fail...."
We all do it one day at a time.
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
Today is the best day to start.
Now is the best moment.
Get it into your head that you do not drink.
Not do not drink any more, but you do not drink, period.
It may be rough at the start, hour to hour, one day at a time, and find something else to do so you do not obscess about drinking. A hobby, a second job, whatever.
Clean out your house, get rid of whatever you have, if it is valuable, sell it, if not dump it, but deliver yourself from temptation.
If you do go out drink pop--stay away from things which taste like something they aren't, like near beers and virgin Marys.
Don't even go close to the edge, you are playing with your life here, worse than a 4 year old playing with a cocked and loaded gun.
Go to AA meetings if it helps, if it doesn't try another chapter.
Observe the people there and don't lie to them or yourself. There are some good tools there, but you have to pick them up and use them. Above all, ask God for guidance. I really don't think it can be done without God involved.
Things won't get better right away.
They will even seem worse for a while as you discover just what a mess you have managed to make of things (if you haven't you are blessed).
But after six months or so, things start picking up--if you will work to make your life better.
It isn't instant, it is not the objective, it is a waypoint, a stepping stone to a better life. The rest will become what you make of it.
It can be done, and after a while you will not miss it. (since 1/1/89)
So much to say.
I think that if one “thinks they have a problem, then probably do.” I think that if one doesn’t hit their bottom or find their bottom then there’s always more room at the bottom.
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Were we the fifth in line at the liquor store in the morning? Did we go to another store outside your area because your afraid of being seen?
Did we hide our bottles?
Do you have the shakes yet?
Are you sure a toilet is used for another purpose than what your using it for?
Do you no longer go outside and do those things you used to love to do?
Do you no longer have sex?
Do you sleep a lot or just need one more to get to sleep?
Would you like to dream again?
Tell me all about your big plans for anything.
I have heard it said that the time when we feel most in control is the time when we are in the least. I have given you an insight in to parts of my past, use what you can but remember the rest. We all take different paths to our bottom but it’s the same road.When you do decide to stop using and seek recovery it will be the scariest, best time of your life. What do I mean? For the last (fill in the blank)years we have traded our lives away a little piece at a time so we could pursue our addictions. Now imagine getting all of that and more back. Pretty sweet!
We all hold the key, the power to stop. But to stay clean and sober will take help.
Living life one day at a time while on the surface sounds direction less and aimless but you have no idea the freedom it will give you.
Just another friend of Bill.
“I want to quit booze (or drugs), I really do, but I need help...”
It’s always best to have them admit this when they are hung over because they’re usually more receptive to listening to solutions. I would share my experience and accompany them to the closest meeting - walking in the doors for the first time alone is scary as hell. For me, staying sober isn’t tough, it was getting sober that was.
My husband has been sober 23 yrs, my son, about 10 and this is an edited letter that I sent to my other son the other day. It was my little intervention.
Subject: Okay, this part is going to make you mad
I do see a huge chance that you can get what you want if you are patient. Hopefully, we will be in better financial shape and can help you also.
The part that is going to make you mad is that I think you should go to Alcoholics Anonymous. People don’t like drunks and if you do something about it you have one more tool in a whole box of tools and I guarantee your life will change for the better.
Now you may not think you are an alcholic but that doesn’t matter, your drinking has affected people in your life and your attitude sucks and it shows. Anyone can see that and I didn’t realize it was so obvious until I spent some time with you.
You were delightful when you were home until you went with John and got drunk and afterwards for 2 days you were an asshole. You were tough on the kids too.
You are an exceptional person and about as smart as they come when it comes to so many things but it seems to me that you have drowned your anger and frustration during this time more than ever in alcohol. AA will help you get to know yourself more than anything and it is something you really need to know.
If you choose not to go to AA, I will still love you and I will still fight for you. I think you are an amazing person who has fought for everything that you have. You were always there for people even when it meant that you didn’t have a life. Not many men are as good a person as you are and have been. I love and respect you so much.
I’ve been wanting to say this for a long time and I’m saying it out of the love of a mother. You know that I’ve been through it and I can’t tell you the difference sobriety makes in a life. I’ve seen your dad and your brother rise above it and seen how much happier they are and how much happier all the people in their lives are.
Anyway, I could write all day but I’ll stop here with a prayer that you will listen to me but with the knowledge that you are always my son and we all love you more than you can know.