[RosieCotton]

No, you don’t get it, it’s more complicated than that — they *always* go to the in-laws. More than half the time when I go up there when they *do* invite me (on just your average Sunday, for instance), it’s not to actually go to their house — it’s to join the crowd at her mother’s house. The trouble is that in general, they seem to assume that because I’m family, I’ll know I’m invited, and then I’m kind of expected to call and ask for time and directions. Best I can figure it, anyhow.

And instead, every time (every holiday, that is), I end up calling and kind of saying, “So what are you guys up to?” and then they kind of say I should come, and I think would be a little offended if I didn’t. But always, always, always we have to do this whole situation where I’m the one who asks, so I feel like a schmuck. And it’s not their intent, I know, but it still gets me somewhat het up, whereupon I feel guilty for getting het up, and so on.

Ungh.

In some ways, I’d rather take a book to read, and get something at Denny’s.

[JenB]

So why not call, say, “I’m doing dinner with friends, can I come down this weekend to see the girls”? And it’ll remind them to actually invite you next time!

[Lil'freeper]

Holidays have turned into passive-aggressive warfare with my brother's family. His wife is the culprit and he's a little lilly-livered about it all. I'm the ogre of an aunt who never visits. But when I do visit, it is wildly uncomfortable. Everything is on their terms, on their schedule, and on their calendar. Our plans don't matter. If we don't arrange our plans for them, well, that just proves how mean we are. LOL

The SIL always has to make sure her mother is there, I guess as a chaperone, I don't know. They belong to a small, very judgmental denomination and I always feel like they're checking me over over horns, hooves, and a tail. I can never say anything right. Nothing I do is correct. And somehow I make her cry?? Her mother is a man-hater and always has snarky things to say about how I center my life around my husband. Yeah, so I cook the man dinner... The two of them are extremely bossy and overly full of themselves. They suck the fun out of any occasion.

Ah, family.

I cain't wait for Christmas. (Did I mention I'm on strike this year?)

[Lil'freeper]

and get something at Denny’s.

Do Cracker Barrel instead. Big'ol and I did that for years before we had family move to the area.

[SuziQ]

Well, since you know they always go to the in-laws, just plan to have dinner with Hair and the gang, since that's all set up, and don't worry about it for this holiday! You could still call him, and wish him Happy Thanksgiving, telling him that you wanted to be sure and catch him, since you were planning on doing Turkey Day with friends!

Then, you can just enjoy your day tomorrow, and save your worrying for Christmas!