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****THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD****
Back To School ^

Posted on 07/27/2007 5:56:08 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year....

 

For some of us, the new school season is starting and sending our kids back to school is the best time of year.

 

Hey kids!

It's school time again!

 

You're probably feeling excited to get back to the rigid structure, discipline, and math problems that you missed out on while you were trapped outside in the sun all summer.

 

If you're going back to the same school you are very lucky! Because everyone will remember you and your reputation as the school ______. Fill in the blank with any 1 of the following:

 

slut
poor kid
idiot
punching bag
 

If you're going to a new school, then you may be nervous because the new kids may not know to call you by your nickname: pimple-t!ts.

 

Now you're going to have to prove yourself all over again. You have to make all new friends. But don't worry! You did it before and you can do it again! And the good thing is, after a summer of practicing, you're still great at giving head!

See you in "Stairway B!"

 

If you're not the school slut, you still have a chance to make real friends. You can buy your friends, or give them the answers to the test, or be really good at football.

If you don't make any friends that's okay, too. Because Mr. Rosen would love to have you clean his erasers during your lunch period. Teachers are really easy to be friends with because think about it... the reason they teach is because they want revenge on all the kids who were mean to them in school. Now they can be mean to those kids that remind them of their past and get paid for it!

 

Making friends doesn't matter. Let's be honest. In 15 years you won't ever see these people again. Do you really think you'll end up living next to Smelly Josh or Tattle-tale Tina? No. Unless you're incarcerated you'll probably never see these freaks ever again!

 

DID YOU KNOW? To eat healthier, you'd be better off skipping that school lunch and instead eating the Styrofoam tray it's served on!

 

*** The First Day ***

Most teachers kick off the school year by introducing themselves and talking about all of the exciting things you'll be learning this year. For teachers, this is called "slacking off".   Expect many slacking off days this year such as the day before any major holiday, the day after the teacher's birthday, and the last 17 days of school.

 

Some teachers will give you the wonderful opportunity to stand up in front of the entire class to introduce yourself! This would be a great time to practice a visualization technique to quickly soften your boner. This will also be useful when you want to extend your first meeting with the school slut.

 

When introducing yourself, be sure to rattle off a comprehensive list of all your academic accomplishments. Be brief when describing your summer vacation. If you won a Silver Medal for Gymnastics at the Olympics, don't mention it. Bragging is pathetic when you came in 2nd.

 

Teachers will often go over the classroom rules. Remember these are just SOME of the rules. For example, here are some other classroom rules that teachers usually don't mention:

 

No playing with yourself under the desk. (This is a variation of the rule: If you didn't bring 1 for everybody, you can't play with it.)

No stabbing below the belt.

Take turns... with the school slut.

 

You might already know a lot of people in your classes on the first day. But it's a great day to make a new friend... especially a kid who is new to the school. You never know, he might have access to good pot!

 

Feeling Good on Day One

The most important thing about your first day of school is what you are wearing. Everyone will be wearing their coolest new clothes.

On the 1st day, it's also important to smell your best. The rest of the year you can be your normal un-bathed self. So this means:

 

White boys --> use shampoo to de-grease your hair

Black boys -->  trim your wolverine fingernails

Latino boys --> easy on the cologne today

 

Tips for a fantastic first day of school:

"If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time,

the insane asylums would be filled with mothers."

~Edgar W. Howe


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: backtoschool; ofst; silliness
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To: Lucky9teen

That is child abuse.


101 posted on 07/27/2007 3:28:09 PM PDT by JohnCliftn (In War: Resolution. In Defeat: Defiance. In Victory: Magnanimity. In Peace: Good Will. - Churchill)
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To: Lucky9teen

It’s a sad day when the OFST doesn’t break 100.


102 posted on 07/27/2007 3:29:02 PM PDT by Darksheare ("Bah weep graaagnah wheep ni ni bong.")
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To: Lucky9teen

103 posted on 07/27/2007 3:29:21 PM PDT by Lucky9teen (Those that fail to learn from history, are doomed to repeat it.)
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To: Darksheare
No doubt...wth? :(


104 posted on 07/27/2007 3:34:17 PM PDT by Lucky9teen (Those that fail to learn from history, are doomed to repeat it.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Click to enlarge
Everyone seems to have fled.
Lack of sleep perhaps?
105 posted on 07/27/2007 3:37:51 PM PDT by Darksheare ("Bah weep graaagnah wheep ni ni bong.")
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To: Darksheare
Well...it is Friday...maybe they are all at the bar?


106 posted on 07/27/2007 4:03:55 PM PDT by Lucky9teen (Those that fail to learn from history, are doomed to repeat it.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Ho hum....guess I'll carry the thread alone....


107 posted on 07/27/2007 4:05:05 PM PDT by Lucky9teen (Those that fail to learn from history, are doomed to repeat it.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Used to work with a guy.

Anyone asked him how he was he’d say: “Happy, busy and productive.”


108 posted on 07/27/2007 4:24:18 PM PDT by BenLurkin
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To: Darksheare

http://www.johnspeedie.com/healy/saywhat.wav


109 posted on 07/27/2007 4:58:58 PM PDT by BenLurkin
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To: BenLurkin

http://www.johnspeedie.com/healy/healybytes.html


110 posted on 07/27/2007 5:03:26 PM PDT by ErnBatavia (...forward this to your 10 very best friends....)
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To: ErnBatavia

http://www.johnspeedie.com/healy/howawd.wav


111 posted on 07/27/2007 5:05:22 PM PDT by BenLurkin
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To: Lucky9teen
No playing with yourself under the desk

HAHAHA! My sister actually HAD a masterbater in one of her 8th grade English classes. Usually, it's beaten out of 'em by the 8th grade!

112 posted on 07/27/2007 5:10:36 PM PDT by bannie (The Good Guys cannot win when they're the only ones to play by the rules.)
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To: ItsForTheChildren

California in the 60’s: We had to wear dresses. Pants were allowed on only one day of the year...a local celebration. Dresses/skirts could be no more than four inches above your knee when kneeling.

It’s good to be short.

(The boys could wear pants.)


113 posted on 07/27/2007 5:22:25 PM PDT by bannie (The Good Guys cannot win when they're the only ones to play by the rules.)
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To: SevenofNine
"...what you call US Navy man who keep taking KGB agent Vodka..."

A GREAT Sailor, doing what he/she has to do for our country!!!

114 posted on 07/27/2007 5:52:30 PM PDT by tomkow6 (........pickin' my nose, bit by bit......)
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To: tomkow6

I seeee

BTW what make KGB agent hey that patehic they can’t keep eye on Vodka LOL!

You never see previous Russia leader like Ivan the terrible, Peter the Great losing their vodka supply bottles


115 posted on 07/27/2007 5:59:03 PM PDT by SevenofNine ("We are Freepers, all your media belong to us, resistence is futile")
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To: BenLurkin
I loved "Old Heal"....too bad KMPC, when they had him, wouldn't quite kick all the up into the Santa Clarita Valley - I'd miss the best part on the commute home.

Yeah, ah did!

116 posted on 07/27/2007 6:04:33 PM PDT by ErnBatavia (...forward this to your 10 very best friends....)
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To: bannie

Usually, it’s beaten out of ‘em by the 8th grade!


Who was his favorite “Little Rascal?”


117 posted on 07/27/2007 11:16:46 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: Lucky9teen

It is/was a possibility.


118 posted on 07/28/2007 7:52:52 AM PDT by Darksheare ("Bah weep graaagnah wheep ni ni bong.")
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To: BenLurkin

Heh heh heh.

Swords through pillows would make sleep difficult.


119 posted on 07/28/2007 7:55:30 AM PDT by Darksheare ("Bah weep graaagnah wheep ni ni bong.")
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To: Lucky9teen

(belated) Thanks. :D


120 posted on 07/28/2007 10:01:44 AM PDT by skinkinthegrass (just b/c your paranoid, doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you....run, Fred, run. :^)
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