Experiential America: The Study

Right Wing Nation ^ | May 8th, 2007 | rightwingprof

[chaos_5]

Those alien abduction statistics were taken from "Experiential America: A Bipartisan Study," by Dr. Lucinda Porpoise Wellsley-Meyer and Dr. Robert Griffin. The paper itself is fascinating. Being co-written by a moonbat and a sane human being lends the paper a schizophrenic quality, and it ultimately had to be separated into sections because the two researchers could not agree on what was interesting or what conclusions to draw. While Dr. Lucinda Porpoise Wellsley-Meyer was fascinated by the space alien abduction data, Dr. Griffin saw it as evidence of possible mental imbalance, or at least a propensity for mass hallucination, and so forth.

Here are some excerpts. First, Dr. Lucinda Porpoise Wellsley-Meyer:

Most interesting was that so many reported being abducted by space aliens.

Have you ever been abducted by space aliens?
	Y	N	N/A
Democrat	67%	20%	13%
Republican	0%	98%	1%
Libertarian	98%	1%	1%

Note that no Republicans reported being abducted. This would seem to indicate either that Republican intelligence is so low that the aliens do not find them interesting, or that reporting their abductions would brand them as hypocrites among their Christianist allies. Just as interesting is that Democrat and Liberarian respondents reported being abducted by two different aliens:

What type of aliens abducted you?
	Grey	Reptilian	Don't remember
Democrat	25%	70%	5%
Libertarian	87%	11%	2%

There was, however, little difference at first glance in whether abductees were probed:

Did the aliens probe you?
	Y	N	N/A
Democrats	89%	5%	6%
Libertarians	94%	1%	5%

There seems to be, however, a significant difference between Democrats and Libertarians regarding the number of orifices that were probed:

In how many orifices were you probed?
	1	2	3+
Democrats	64%	11%	25%
Libertarians	23%	57%	20%

When we look at a crosstab, however, we see that this distinction correlates with the type of space alien, and not the political affiliation of the abductee:

Crosstab: Alien type and Orifices probed
	1	2	3+
Grey	5%	34%	61%
Reptilian	81%	9%	0%

Note that the delicate-appearing Greys probe more orifices than the intimidating, fright-inducing Reptilians! This speaks to the greater truth of ignorant American Islamophobia, fearing Muslims because they look different, while the more familiar–the Christianist Religious Right–is more dangerous!

Dr. Robert Griffin, however, had a very different interpretation of the data:

Both Democrats and Libertarians show a significantly greater propensity for self-delusion, mass hysteria, and paranoia than Republicans, as seen by the vastly greater number of the former who believe they were abducted by space aliens. Note that they also demonstrate a greater need for therapeutic help (PEST, Post-Election Selection Trauma):

Did you seek therapy for PEST?
	Y	N	N/A
Democrat	78%	2%	20%
Libertarian	56%	41%	3%

This indicates that Democrats and Libertarians believe themselves to be unstable, and feel they require psychological counseling to bear the disappointment of an election. It demonstrates a juvenile, narcissistic attitude. More interesting is the correlation between whether "abductees" reported being probed and whether they sought therapeutic intervention because they didn't like the election results:

Correlation: Probed and PEST
	Probed
PEST	0.78

More interesting, however, is the relationship between the most important issue, specifically abortion, and the number of orifices reported to be probed:

Crosstab: Most important issue and number of orifices probed
	1	2	3+
Abortion	2%	9%	89%

No other issue group reported as high an incidence of three or more orifices probed than the abortion group. This might suggest that these respondents have confused abortion and being "probed" by "space aliens" in their minds.

Clearly, further psychiatric research needs to be done. The only reasonable conclusion to be drawn from these data is that these respondents are confused, neurotic, delusional, hysterical, and paranoid.

I report. You decide.

[chaos_5]

I think this explains just about everything!

[Shion]

I haven’t been able to find the study, so I’m pretty sure this is a parody. We’ll see what people can flush out about it. Funny either way though.

(Chaos_5, this is your wife, BTW)

[chaos_5]

parody? I’m sure =o)

[SunkenCiv]

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Mankind, Child of the Stars by Otto O. Binder and Max H. Flindt

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