Posted on 02/15/2007 6:34:03 AM PST by woodbutcher1963
When a man fails to help out around the house, his poor performance might be related to a subconscious tendency to resist doing anything his wife wants, a new study suggests.
Men and women are sure to argue about this one. In fact, the man and woman who led the study disagree on the meaning of the results.
Psychologists have long known about "reactance," the tendency to do the exact opposite of what's requested by a loved one or boss.
• Click here to visit FOXNews.com's Human Body Center.
The new study aimed to find out whether the phenomenon might occur at a subconscious level.
Participants were asked to name a significant person they perceived as controlling their lives, and another who just wanted them to have fun.
Then they were asked to discern words from jumbled letters on a computer screen while the names of the people they had mentioned were flashed subliminally. The names were flashed too quickly to be registered consciously.
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(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
lol again. It's even worse when she tries to tell me about her dreams. I haven't remembered but 1 dream per decade. She remembers EVERY detail and wants to recount them no matter how wierd or strange they may seem. It goes on and on and on. When I walk out of the room, she gets the message that it's gone on too long. ;)
!Snork!!
Then you're still adjusting. You haven't learned to "work together" yet and read each other. That will come, but you both have to remember you're on the same team.
You may well be right in some cases. I guess it pays to be an elderly bride; my husband and I were 31 when we got married, and were looking for mature partners.
Of course.
The guy's behavior is the problem, not the symptom.
Of course.
Like the study in the lead article, the question is "what's wrong with him?".
Of course.
He doesn't have the social tools to deal with it.
Of course.
And that bomb squad technician should just open the box, cut the wires, and defuse the thing already.
Of course.
You may well be right in some cases. I guess it pays to be an elderly bride; my husband and I were 31 when we got married, and were looking for mature partners.
That may help some, although my mother in law still hasn't gotten over hers and she's 62.
I am trying to find a way to make it work. Seems like my efforts are going unnoticed.
Family trees? Iowa? We must be in-laws to each other. Any relations in Toledo for her?
but we were together for four years before we married.
I would figure it would be getting better, not staying stagnant or becoming worse. One never ending roller coaster.
Marriage always changes things to some extent. My husband and I lived together for a little over a year before we married, so in some ways not much changed after the wedding, but it "felt" different. Luckily, it was to a new and stronger level of commitment.
What you've said so far all sounds like it can be worked out, but I'd say you need a third party to help you communicate better with each other. And please don't reproduce until you do - when children are in the picture, the stakes are much higher.
If he isn't strong enough to stand up to his own wife right from the beginning, she will gradually come to despise him. No woman in history ever loved a man who did everything she told him to.
How self-serving.
I don't buy it.
You mean like a man who can't seem to manage to find his own stuff and asks his wife to do it for him?
If it was "Everybody Loves Raymond", he IS an idiot. (And it's "cowered", not "cowarded").
And you've been married how many times (if ever)? ;)
OK feminazi cat woman.
Since you want to butt in, why don't you answer the question. What if the roles were reversed?
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