Northern Football vs. Southern Football

Shared Email ^

[gopwinsin04]

Women's Accessories: NORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.

SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of Captain Morgan/Crown. Money is not necessary - that's what dates are for. Stadium Size:

NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Campus Decor:

NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.

SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen:

NORTH: Also physics major.

SOUTH: Also Miss America.

Cheerleaders:

NORTH: If you are coordinated, you make the varsity squad.

SOUTH: You begin cheer camp at age two, complete with ballet, dance, & gymnastic training.

Getting Tickets:

NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.

SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus & put name on the waiting list.

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:

NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.

SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the few hung-over students that might actually make it to class.

Parking:

NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.

SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Game Day:

NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.

SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave .

Tailgating:

NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.

SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by "Dave Matthews' Band," who comes over during breaks and asks for a hit off bottle of bourbon. Getting to the Stadium:

NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.

SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the state's third largest city.

Concessions:

NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda. SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than halfway with soda, to ensure enough room for Captain Morgan/Crown.

When National Anthem is Played:

NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.

SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.

The Smell in the Air after the First Score:

NORTH: Nothing changes.

SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of Captain Morgan/Crown.

Commentary (Male):

NORTH: "Nice play." SOUTH: D@mmit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs!

Commentary (Female):

NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."

SOUTH: D@mmit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs!

Announcers:

NORTH: Neutral and paid. SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

After the Game: NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.

SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon; planning begins for next week's game.

[Hong Kong Expat]

For North, I think they are using the shortcut for NorthEast.
And Penn State is on the Fringe.

But up north we have the Pro-teams to root for, and you guys root for unpaid students hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Oh man I almost pulled that off. Ha!!

[ShadowDancer]

NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people

I guess ya'll are too poor down there to have books that include the University of Michigan in them.

[RayChuang88]

That email forgot about Penn State, Ohio State, Michigan, Michigan State, and Wisconsin, all of which have big stadiums and all of which are impossible to get tickets unless you're a student or school alumni.

[Ditto]

But up north we have the Pro-teams to root for, and you guys root for unpaid students hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Unpaid football players in the SEC? You are naive. ;~))

[1rudeboy]

It's still usually possible to scalp tickets for a Wolverine game. The prices (obviously) drop dramatically after the game begins, which is good to know if you get ejected from the stadium on the first set. That being said, when you re-enter you shouldn't go back to the same section as the second time will get you arrested.

[soccermom]

Yeah -- I think Penn State was rated #1 school for fans or something like that.

[MarineBrat]

Hi SoccerMom!

You've been cruising the old threads tonight. :)

I've never been to a Penn State game, but since I grew up in Pittsburgh it's natural for me to be a big fan, though I'm not sure who I'd root for if Penn State played Pitt.

I guess I would probably end up rooting for Joe Paterno no matter what team he was playing against.

[soccermom]

LOL! Well, I was doing a search for recent college football posts and came up with this one. I'm actually a USC football fan. I think the North/South comparison should apply more to high school football than college football. I think college fans are just as loyal at any of the big time schools. High school is another phenomenon, though. I'm currently in the midwest, but as an AF brat I lived in the south and it does seem that football is a much bigger deal in the south for high schools. I just watched the new TV series, Friday Night Lights and I think they over-do it a bit. Somehow, I can't imagine women -- even Southern women -- discussing football strategy at a book club meeting!